Wolverine Fighting Piracy With Multiple Endings, Idiocy

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If there’s two things I hate, it’s lame attempts to fight piracy and multiple endings, so as you can imagine, this latest news from Wolverine is most annoying.

In an effort to lure those dastardly pirates who already watched the unfinished movie online, the studio is putting out about six thirty second after-the-credits endings onto random prints of Wolverine, each presumably focusing on a different character (the first one seen so far was about Deadpool). So theoretically, you’ll have to see the movie at least six (probably more like 13 if you’re unlucky) times to see them all. These multiple viewings may recoup some of the money the movie is losing from piracy, the studio thinks.

Well, they’re idiots.

First of all, if the pirates aren’t lured to the movie because they want to see, oh I don’t know, actual special effects in the movie, I don’t think they’re going to come for a thirty second “alternate ending.” And secondly, expecting people to go see a movie multiple times to see a thirty second alternate ending is nothing but wishful thinking. All six of these endings will end up on YouTube in a matter of days, and if I’m feeling really generous, I might even wait to see them on the DVD extras.

The only times people go see a movie multiple times is if it’s Titanic or The Dark Knight. No one is going to be clamoring to relive Wolverine over and over if early reviews are any indication, so can your stupid alternate endings, and treat your audience like we’re not a bunch of idiots.

[via Cinematical]