Wolverine Fighting Piracy With Multiple Endings, Idiocy


If there’s two things I hate, it’s lame attempts to fight piracy and multiple endings, so as you can imagine, this latest news from Wolverine is most annoying.

In an effort to lure those dastardly pirates who already watched the unfinished movie online, the studio is putting out about six thirty second after-the-credits endings onto random prints of Wolverine, each presumably focusing on a different character (the first one seen so far was about Deadpool). So theoretically, you’ll have to see the movie at least six (probably more like 13 if you’re unlucky) times to see them all. These multiple viewings may recoup some of the money the movie is losing from piracy, the studio thinks.

Well, they’re idiots.

First of all, if the pirates aren’t lured to the movie because they want to see, oh I don’t know, actual special effects in the movie, I don’t think they’re going to come for a thirty second “alternate ending.” And secondly, expecting people to go see a movie multiple times to see a thirty second alternate ending is nothing but wishful thinking. All six of these endings will end up on YouTube in a matter of days, and if I’m feeling really generous, I might even wait to see them on the DVD extras.

The only times people go see a movie multiple times is if it’s Titanic or The Dark Knight. No one is going to be clamoring to relive Wolverine over and over if early reviews are any indication, so can your stupid alternate endings, and treat your audience like we’re not a bunch of idiots.

[via Cinematical]

  • Lisu

    Your insight is both bewitching and glorious.

  • Rob

    Character spots-
    are you talking about these?


    That would be lame as they are just individual commercials….
    And some of the characters don’t make it so….


  • Dagsc

    Wikipedia saves the day!

    The film has several additional scenes during and after the credits.[5] The first of these scenes plays a few seconds into the credits, and depicts William Stryker walking down a road. The toes of his shoes are torn and bloody from walking for so long, having been commanded by Silverfox to walk indefinitely. A military vehicle drives up behind him and he is apprehended by military police for questioning about the death of a general that he murdered earlier in the film in order to protect his personal vendetta against mutants.

    Depending on which theater the movie was shown in, one of two possible endings then appear following the credits. The first only depicts Weapon XI’s hand reaching out from the rubble of the nuclear complex to touch his severed head, whereupon the head comes to life and makes a brief hushing sound before the scene fades to black; breaking the fourth wall like the Deadpool comics. The second alternate ending shows Wolverine drinking at a bar in Japan. The female bartender asks if he is drinking to forget; Wolverine replies that he’s drinking to remember.

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