What Movies are Left That Can Save This Terrible Summer?


It’s hard to remember a summer this devoid of good movies. Nearly every supposed “blockbuster” has been a underwhelming wreck, and whether it’s Clash of the Titans, Alice in Wonderland, Robin Hood, Prince of Persia, Jonah Hex, Knight and Day or The Last Airbender, all could have been worthwhile, but none were anywhere close to good.

Outside of a few kids movies, the summer has been devoid of quality like none I can remember living through before. There’s only about a month and a half left of summer, so I wanted to examine which titles yet to be released might combat this summer of massive disappointment.

There’s one favorite and a few longshots, go below to see them all.

1. Inception – July16th


The patron saint of good movies, Christopher Nolan is mercifully returning this summer to save us from this abyss of horrible movies.

It’s already clear that Inception will be stunning, as it’s scored a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes so far, which is a score usually reserved for the latest Pixar adventure, not psychological action thrillers.

Unlike The Prestige or The Dark Knight, I have not been particularly excited by the trailer, as the entire idea of “dream theft” is still pretty murky in my head, but I have to imagine that it all makes sense in the film. Or at least will make sense after I see the movie three or four times.

Odds of Goodness – 1:2



2. Salt – July 23rd


Angelina Jolie as the female Jason Bourne might sound like a good idea in theory, and though there certainly is ass kicking and hotness abound in the trailer, I’m hesitant to believe this will truly be worthwhile.

It’s from director Phlilip Noyce, who hasn’t really done anything you’ve heard of since The Bone Collector, and even that wasn’t that good. It’s written by Kurt Wimmer who has split between decent screenplays (Law Abiding Citizen, Equilibrium) and bad (Street Kings, UltraViolet). Somehow he’s also the rumored director of the Metal Gear Solid movie. Uh huh.

I just have a feeling this is going to be a massively forgettable film, and Angelina Jolie would have been better off reincarnating herself for a Wanted sequel instead.

Odds of Goodness – 10:1



3. Dinner for Schmucks – July 30th


I bet a lot of you haven’t even heard of this movie yet, which features a contest where employees must bring eccentric individuals to their boss’s house, and I’m pretty sure it’s a remake of an old comedy from way back when.

Why should you care about it? Well, it’s got Paul Rudd and Steve Carell starring, with Jemaine Clement and Zach Galifianakis backing them up. It’s directed by Jay Roach, who is behind the entire Austin Powers and Meet the Parents series. People thought those were funny right?

The bad news is, judging by the trailer it looks pretty damn terrible. The concept is absurd to say the least, and not in a good way, and the plot is clear cut as it’s obvious Paul Rudd will pretend to be friends with Steve Carell’s weirdo, then he will find out it’s all a big joke, then he will be sad, then they will be friends in the end.

Odds of Goodness: 20:1



4. The Expendables – August 13th


After Predators, it’s clear that old action franchises can be worthwhile once more. So is the same true for old action heroes? That’s what The Expendables aims to find out.

The plot is pretty much a bunch of mercenaries played by every action hero/fighter/wrestler you know band together to overthrow an evil dictatorship in some country which will surely remain unnamed. Stallone is leading the charge and it is clear the man still knows action and how to kick ass.

But the question is, is this really going to be worthwhile, or just a martial arts show cobbled together around a mundane plot? I’m not sure if pure testosterone is enough to make a movie great, but I guess we will have to see.

Odds of Goodness – 5:1



5. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – August 13th


On the same day as The Expendables, we’ll be treated to a very different sort of adventure in what’s perhaps the most literal comic adaptation ever created.

Michael Cera is Scott Pilgrim, a guy who falls in love with a girl but first must fight her seven evil exes in order to be with her. It’s heavily manga and video game influenced, and that’s clear from the visuals. It’s from Edgar Wright, who has yet to make a bad movie, but I’m not sure, the entire thing feels kind of like Speed Racer meets Looney Tunes meets an acid trip to me.

It’s got great source material, a capable cast and a solid director, but is it just going to be too damn weird in the end?

Odds of Goodness – 2:1




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