Please Don’t Be True: Ron Howard to Direct ‘Stretch Armstrong’


I’m just going to go ahead and file this under “idiotic rumors and reporting errors,” but I do have pause for at least a moment because this info comes out of Business Week, as opposed to say

A new article in the magazine discusses Hasbro’s new unholy relationship with Universal, and the the multitudes of awful movies they’ll be making together. I’ll save my ranting about toy-to-movie adaptations another day, but here’s the quote:

“There’s more on the way. Hasbro has a movie based on its G.I. Joe toy line coming out on Aug. 7. The company has an April 2011 release for a movie version of its Stretch Armstrong figure, to be directed by Ron Howard. That is part of a six-picture deal the company has with Universal Studios (GE), which included a movie version of Monopoly. Meanwhile, archrival Mattel (MAT) is working on movie versions of Hot Wheels and Major Matt Mason.”

Yup, that’s right, Ron Howard is directing Stretch Armstrong. Apparently he didn’t listen to my advice to go back to filming real movies as opposed to adaptations of poorly written and mostly blasphemous books, moving on instead to a children’s toy that frankly, children didn’t even like that much. This is surely a misprint, but it’s a pretty damn big one for Business Week to make. But I mean, if Ridley Scott is seriously making Monopoly, I suppose anything’s possible.

[via IESB]

P.S. Who the hell is Major Matt Mason?

  • Maira

    Major Matt Mason was a line of astronaut action figures and toys from the 1960’s.

  • Josh

    Ok. Completely irrelevant to the article but… seriously, recode your site. I can’t even get a smooth scroll anymore it is so bloated. It lags like a Halo 2 game that included a 12 year old thinking cheating was fun.

    Seriously. Recode it.

  • Xin

    That looks like Ron Howard playing with that stretch armstrong.

  • Xin

    And maybe Josh needs to stop using Internet Exploder and stop bitching.

  • jds

    I use Firefox and this site scrolls like shit. I scroll the site gets some update and my page stops scrolling. I click on the site page and scroll…nada. I have to grab the scroll bar and drag it. It happens to me in both IE and Firefox. Both are updated to the newest versions.

    Xin – We don’t all get to sign up for ‘net time on Deep Blue 😉

  • Josh

    Xin – Using Firefox 3.5 Beta 99 on Mac OS X 10.5.7. This site does the same thing on Opera 10 Beta and Safari 4. So don’t be an asshole. 🙂

  • IcemanD

    I don’t have any of the issues you guys are bitchin about. Site scrolls fine for me.