New ‘New Moon’ Posters Promote the Terrifying Power of Eyeshadow

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Not cool Dakota Fanning. Stop being 15 and wearing a ton of make-up so you look legal. I remember you screaming in Tom Cruise’s arms during War of the Worlds like it was yesterday. Anyways, call me in three years.

There are two other posters for New Moon that have debuted besides this Volturi one, but they’re just of Edward’s clan of lame vegetarian vampires and Jacob’s clan of shirtless buff brown dudes, so if you really want to see them, you can go to Yahoo!

You know, I actually did try to read this books in order to be able to talk shit while knowing what I’m talking about, but I had to stop midway through the first one once I read the word “Adonis” for the tenth time.



  • Madison

    Twilight has completely ruined vampires. Are the werewolves neutered?

  • illeaturfamily

    @madison – youre completely right. this series has cast a shawdow of terrible over all the decent vampire-related movies/books out there

    and also, congratulations to you paul for even attempting to read this garbage.

  • Byrd

    I thought Michael Sheen was a werewolf…

  • Cheryl

    I still think it’s kinda cool dakota Fanning is gonna be Jane, she does ‘creepy’ kid very well.