10 Movies I Fear Will be Remade That Really Shouldn’t

I would say that anyone over the age of 30 (possibly 25) should agree with me here.  What in the hell has happened to Hollywood in the last 5 years?  Are producers and writers so hard up for material that they have to remake any film that was halfway decent back in their hay day?  Can someone explain this to me?

And not only that.  We’re seeing remakes of crap films too.  It’s as if someone firmly believed a shit movie should be good so a remake would do it justice.  I don’t get it.  I really don’t.

As time goes by we’re only going to see more remakes and for Christ’s sake please stop!  Here are ten movies I fear will have a remake…..

Conan the Barbarian


I don’t know man.  I’ve heard rumors of a new Conan happening and apparently Ron Perlman is in the film which I guess is kind of cool but come on.  You can’t remake a movie like that.  I mean yeah, you can but there’s just too much to appreciate about the original.  And something just wouldn’t sit right watching it all 2000 ish.  I don’t know.  Old school Conan fans know what I’m talking about.

The Warriors


Rumor has it that Tony Scott is going to be taking on this project.  For the love of God if there’s a movie not to be remade it’s this one.  It was a 70s movie and should always remain a 70s movie.  Sure I’d go see it but man it would piss me off.   The music, culture, costumes?  Everything about this movie was representative of an era.  You remake it now and it just gets axed.  Please don’t.

Meatballs


Really?  You guys are really going to do this?  I almost don’t even mind a remake just don’t call it Meatballs and you can take credit for making an awesome summer camp movie with boobs in it.  That I think we definitely need just don’t call it Meatballs ok guys?  Although I would like to see Meathead from Meatballs 2 somehow make a comeback.

Short Circuit


A new looking Johnny 5?  I feel like this has potential to be considerably worse that when Godzilla was remade.

The Crow


Wasn’t this already remade?  Please don’t do it again.  If only for the fact that you really shouldn’t resurrect a role that Brandon Lee played.  In the same token it’s why I don’t think The Joker should ever be played again after Heath Ledger’s death.  I mean do you think anyone would dare to remake Enter the Dragon?  They sure as hell better not.  I could see the potential for a remake with The Crow but I just think it’s wrong.

Death Wish


How can you possibly bring this back?  Who the hell would play Charles Bronson?  Steve Buscemi?  Honestly what really skinny looking pretty ugly/weird looking dude could play a New York City vigilante?  Rumor has it Sylvester Stallone has been linked to this role.  Really?  Come on Hollywood.  Please stop.

Monster Squad


“Wolfman’s got nards.”   Please don’t do it Hollywood.  I beg of you.  Do NOT do this.

Neverending Story


2012 is when, if all goes to plan, we’ll be seeing the reboot of The NeverEnding Story. Frank Marshall is attached to produce the film, although there seems little evidence of a screenplay coming together as of yet.  Thank God.  Let’s hope it stays that way.  What does Wolfgang Peterson have to say about this?  What the hell is wrong with you people?

Police Academy


The ONLY reason I would see this is if they brought back Bubba Smith.  Other than that leave the franchise alone.  Please.

Teen Wolf


It just wouldn’t be right.


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  1. Tim November 16, 2010
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