How Hard is it to Be Kristen Stewart?

How unique is Kristen Stewart? Well, average  enough that Jane Plainface here can perfectly mimic her at your local gas station. All she needs to do is get her lip-biting and eye-rolling down, and she’ll be able to sneak onset and start making out with Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner without detection.

Fun fact: Kristen Stewart is totally the boy-ish kid from Panic Room. Go back and watch it again. Err, actually don’t, that movie is horrible. I can’t believe it’s Fincher.

Stewart is a prostitute adopted by James Gandolfini in some new movie, which will surely bring many more opportunities for lip-biting. The only thing I like about this girl is how much she openly despises Twilight and her fans. Props for that.

  • Chrystani

    This bitch acts like someone is forcing her to act.

    If this is so… Soul sucking and trendy, she could always get a real job.

    O no she rather play vampire dress up and make millions.

    Kristen can suck it!

    No vampire pun intended.

  • Chrystani

    O BTW I could probably mimic this face to precision and Im a black woman.

    Chick has no range. That heroin face is played.

  • bl4ck_sp4de

    She’s a completely one dimensional actress, she has no emotional range at all.

  • Ellie

    I’m so pissed that she’s going to be in Fuckin’ On The Road (It’s not called “Fuckin’ On The Road”, but I’m so pissed that she’s going to be in it, that I’m saying “fuckin'” in fount of it).
    I actually like that book and although I knew that they were going to fuck it up, I was still going to see it, but now…but now that Kristen Fuckin’ Stewart is in it I’m definitely not going to see it.

    Well, I miiiiight see it because she is playing Dean’s bitchy wife, Marylou, because, really, you only see her once every few chapters and then she’s there for a few seconds, nagging at Dean for something or another. And it might just be a bootleg copy.

    First, the Beat Generation had to fight in WWII and now they have to see the novel that defined their generation turned into a movie with a lip-biting and eye-rolling butt-face that’s most likely going to get more screen than her character ever got in the book.

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  • mel

    Umm ok..all you people have problems..including the person who wrote this awful article..1..the girl doesnt look like wishes and 2 are all bitter harpies and jack offs!

  • lola

    haha, I always find it funny how passionate people get over this chick. I hate twilight, she was good in adventureland though. But I don’t have strong feelings either way. I tend to think most chicks freak out about her cause they want to ride the sparkle stick aka Robert Pattinson but he’s too busy giving free rides to bella swan. And guys have to hate her because well…she’s getting free rides from sparkle stick and they hate him for sparkling and also for making their girlfriends scream out his name by accident while in the middle of sex.

  • Responce

    I like Kristen Stewart, I love how she is a socially inept mega-stoner, who blatantly hates everything about being an actress and she is still ridiculously famous. It’s funny.

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  • BAHAHAHA when i first saw the photo i thought it was Kristen Stewart at some random store so they quickly blew up a mag cover so she could pose next to it… its like when you randomly see a “star” in walmart… this is awesome

  • LAO

    Mel is a twelve year old girl.

    Kirsten and Robert both openly hate Twilight and mock the fans in interviews, so they are A-OK in my book.

  • Chrystani

    Bitter harpie? What the hell is that? Are you using the queens English on us?


  • From Tokyo

    Perfect likeness!