Hey ‘Paranormal Activity,’ **** You


Well here I was all excited that Paranormal Activity was actually playing in my city (Ann Arbor, for whoever guessed that in the pool), but what I found out that it’s ****ing impossible to actually see, unless you’re willing to pitch a tent while an entire college town drinks around you.

That’s right, I wanted to swing by the State Theater at maybe 7, for a little demonic house ghost scares, but I discovered that the ONLY times on both Friday and Saturday night are at midnight, and not only that, but since there’s only one show time, you’ll have to get there HOURS ahead of time to beat out all the other die hard fans to even get a tickets. My good buddy Madison said he got there early only to find ten million people in front of him in NYC.

I wanted to take a date to the movie, but unfortunately I don’t know any girls devoted to the cinema enough to accompany me to a goddamn midnight showing. And if I went with friends or alone, I’m sacrificing an entire night of going out just for this one damn hour and a half long movie.

I understand that the movie is currently in limited release, but I do NOT understand why it must only play at one time, and only at midnight. Because that’s the witching hour? **** you, the campaign for this movie as already as viral as it gets. No need to mess around with the damn show times.

So Paranormal Activity, either up your showtimes during your limited release, or get a ****ing move on to get some distributor to shoot you out wide. Lord knows you have the best word of mouth marketing campaign I’ve seen in the better part of a decade. Get you shit together, because I really want to see you.


  1. Madison September 28, 2009
  2. Name required, indeed! September 28, 2009
  3. Nabs September 28, 2009
  4. Jen September 29, 2009
  5. Brendan September 29, 2009
  6. Kris October 22, 2009
  7. Sverrir Sigfusson January 12, 2010

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