4. Make My Book Into a Movie
Sigh. This is probably the only one I might genuinely consider doing, if I was truly that selfish. It’s a dream for someone to adapt my book into a movie. For $500M it would probably be the most expensive film ever made, but I could hire Chris Nolan to direct and cast absolutely anyone I wanted in all the roles. If it sucked, I would use the remaining cash to buy Rotten Tomatoes and ensure that it MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT SUCK.
5. Become Batman
Remember that infographic from a little while back showing how much it would cost to be Batman? Well, turns out with $500M, I’d still be $182M short, but at that point I’d be willing to sacrifice the Batplane and Wayne Manor if I got to keep everything else. Sure, I’d probably die the first time I tried to use my grappling hook on a skyscraper, but it would totally be worth it.