8 Cute and Refreshingly Non-Slutty Ladies Costumes

Is that Seth Rogen as Mario?

I thoroughly heart Halloween. I love dressing up, candy, pumpkin spice flavoring, creepy stuff, getting more in touch with my dark side, warding off evil spirits with energetic dancing and revelry, and doing it all with my friends. And even though we’ve come pretty far from its Pagan roots, celebrating Halloween makes me feel just the slightest bit connected to all that’s ancient—the same way I felt when I went to Stonehenge. I seriously thought it was going to be a big touristy dorkfest, but somewhere along my climb up the hill I realized I had never seen something so old and man-made. Americans are the wee babies of the world. Huzzah Stonehenge! Huzzah Samhain (or whatever other festival of the dead from which Halloween derives)!

We always have a huge party at my place of daytime employment, and I usually also do it up right Halloween weekend. Except 2009. In 2009 I did it up so right at my place of daytime employment I decided I’d rather spend my weekend swearing to never do it up right again.

Sara at her work party, ca. 2009

So, two parties = two costumes. At least in my book, because geek girls be shoppin’! But costume shopping always leaves me a little down, because it seems more and more that 95% of women’s costumes are just “Sexy ____” where “sexy” means “you’re going to need to go ahead and get that full body wax, sweetheart.”

banana

Imagine if the guy wasn’t next to her. Would you have any idea she was supposed to be a banana? Do we all agree not to outwardly acknowledge what her brown triangular “stem” looks like in our peripheral vision?

And don’t get me wrong, if I had rock hard abs I’d show them off as much as the next ab model, and I think everyone should wear exactly what they want to wear this Halloween. But the rock hard parts of my body are pretty much limited to my elbows and knees, so that leaves me with a bit of a conundrum when it comes to costume choices. Especially since I don’t want to be regulated to a “plus-size” (read: average size) shapeless sack.

Thankfully, other women in the world have answered the problem with admirable creativity. Here are eight of my favorites. I tried to pick costumes that were either able to be purchased, or seemed to be easy to figure out how to DIY. I also provided source links for purchasing/getting info on DIY-ing/seeing other cool costumes.

Daleks

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Some could argue that these are just a sexy version of Daleks, and they’d have a point. But these ladies are keeping it relatively tame with their tank/knee-length skirt/boots combo. Compared to that banana up there? They may as well be going to church.

Sriracha

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I’m sorry, this is amazing. And that girl is cute as a button. I want to set her up with all my single friends. Hell, I want to set her up with my husband.

Isis

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If you are a lady, go to this site immediately. And you’re welcome. Also if you are a lady and my friend, back off—I call dibs on this for next year. Also if you’re a man and you want to be Isis, keep on keepin’ on with your bad self! But seriously, dibs.

Steampunk Badass

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Throw some fangs in there and you’re Mina Murray from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Roy Lichtenstein Painting

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Unfortunately I couldn’t find a full-length pic of this lady, because it looks like her dress is just as amazing as her makeup, BUT HOLY CRAP IS HER MAKEUP AMAZING. Nailed it.

Rtutu-Dtutu

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This one is admittedly more cosplay than Halloween costume, but it’s just too cool for school. The thigh-high striped athletic socks are a great touch, and little bit sexy to boot.

Borg

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This one would also be difficult to actually make, but this woman has the greatest backstory: she was going through chemo therapy for breast cancer and decided to make lemons into lemonade, in this specific case making a naturally bald head into a kick-ass Borg costume.

P.S. I found the controller dress in the header pic here.

P.P.S. Fixed it:

watermelon

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