Above: Getting six-zergling rushed in 1998.

Below: Getting six-zergling rushed in 2010.

Oh Starcraft, you really are timeless.

[via NathanBatson]

(I touched briefly on this issue yesterday in my Starcraft 2 review, and was writing this column for another site, but I decided to post it here instead. Enjoy.)

Starcraft 2 came out this week, a game that I’ve been looking forward to for what seems like eons. And that’s barely an exaggeration. The original title was released in 1998, and I remember in 2000 thinking they were waiting an awful long time to announce a sequel.

Well, in that ensuing decade Blizzard was a little busy buying up people’s souls with a little game called World of Warcraft, but finally they did get around to their long lost project, and now that it’s here, it’s glorious. Well, at least it is for some people.

A year and a half ago, I bought a Sony VAIO laptop. It’s always been fast for everything I’ve needed it for, the screen has been extremely sharp thanks for a Blu-Ray player and 1080p resolution. It’s been the perfect PC for me, outside of a few pixels that decided to commit suicide for no reason.

But after buying Starcraft 2, I now see that my laptop is complete and utter shit. Due to my 2.0 Ghz processor (far below the required 2.6) and my Intel “I don’t know the number but it’s not good enough” graphics card, I’m forced to play the game with graphics and texture settings on low. And when they say low, boy do they mean low. The game looks completely last generation, with blocky polygons and muddy textures, a far cry from the 1080p glory I’ve seen in broadcasted YouTube matches. I can’t even see death animations, my units just instantaneously disappear when killed.

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Is this the nerdiest way to ask someone out ever? It’s pretty damn close, but come on, you have to say yes. You can’t change the name of your Pokemon more than once, meaning he’s tainted all his high-level Pokemon…just for you! If that’s not a romantic gesture, I’m not sure what is.

Plus, she’s going to tear through the Elite Four with a level 98. That’s just a bonus gift right there.

Man, it’s been a while since I did a Halo 3 post huh? I used to do one a week or so, but as I moved on to Modern Warfare, that game slowly faded from my mind. Every so often I try to go back and pick it up again, but man, your skill level jumps off a cliff when you haven’t played in a while. Not to mention I keep click the stick to sprint and pressing X to reload, usually zapping away my shield with a depleter device in the process.

But I thought this video was pretty damn cool to watch, as it is essentially Halo freerunning, where explosions and lifts and grav hammers are used to propel the player into a whole host of unlikely locations. It’s a bit long, but it’s a fun watch. Check it out above.

Is it sad the only game I’m now looking forward to for the entire rest of the year is Reach? What else is even coming out?

If you’re like me, the last time you played the campaign of Starcraft was the better part of ten years ago, but with the new game out today, if you wanted to catch up on everything that’s long faded from your memory, this series is for you. It condenses the story of Starcraft into a uh, short forty minutes. Hey, what the hell else are you going to do at work?

Check out the first part above, and the rest below. And yes, I am currently busting ass posting stuff, so I can finally play the game, which I installed at 1 AM last night after waiting in line with a bunch of nerds. What losers! Errr, wait a minute…

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Starcraft 2 comes out today after over ten years of waiting, and I’m pretty pumped that the game I dreamt of as a kid has arrived at last. I currently have the game in my possession, but it will surely take a while to work my way through it and post journal-style review installments as I go. Expect the first one of those tomorrow, or take a look at my beta impressions from my time spent there.

I will surely feature many cool Starcraft 2 videos I find as more and more people play and awesome matches take place and awesome custom maps get made, but I wanted to first revisit a post I wrote almost a year ago. It was a video gallery of some of the most insane plays from multiplayer in the first game, most of which feature pro-Starcraft players at the absolute top of their game.

Before we start creating a new list of plays like this, I figured the old one was worth another look, and you can see it below.

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It’s lazy yet creative at the exact same time, it’s MISSINGNO! Or as he’s sometimes known M#FD#$@%DS, or something along those lines. He’s the guy who gave you enough rare candies to choke a Rapidash, or a bunch of Master Balls that made catching high level miscreant Pokemon a breeze.

Sure, it’s hard to top Sexy Pikachus, but MISSINGNO is a different league of awesome entirely.

What do you get when you cross a zombie with Mario with Spaulding from The Devil’s Rejects? This terrifying image, showing an undead, demon plumber who will haunt your dreams indefinitely.

To be fair, Mario’s been fighting ghosts and undead turtles for years now, so it’s only fair that he gets to turn the tables by crossing over to the other side himself. His new wrench of the damned looks like it could do some pretty serious damage as well. I’d play this game.

[via Kotaku]

The guys over at GameRevolution noticed something pretty interesting when comparing Japanese and American box art of various Kirby games over the years.

When he makes the jump across the pond, his demeanor changes from “ball of sunshine” to “ball of intense hatred,” and I can’t quite figure out why.

Don’t people like Kirby when he’s happy and cute? Although I suppose when you’re a pink ball, you’re still pretty cute when you’re angry. Maybe he’s just pissed off about arriving in America where most people only know him as the cheapest Super Smash Bros character?

Check out four more examples of this attitude shift after the jump:

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(click to enlarge)

There’s a running joke in the Gears of War series that there is a family of brothers, all named Carmine, who all wear helmets and accompany the main GOW characters in their various missions to plug up holes in the ground. Problem is, so far two of the brothers meet an untimely end in the first two games, and now, the fate of the last brother is in your hands.

Despite this new Carmine looking like a badass from that just released photo, YOU can actually vote on whether or not he lives or dies in the new game. How? You purchase either a “Carmine Lives” or “Carmine Dies” T-shirt in the Xbox marketplace for you avatar. Before you get all fussy, the money for either item goes to Child’s Play charity, so no whining.

Personally, after seeing this picture, I’m pulling for Carmine #3 to not only live, but somehow be the hero that saves the world in the end. I’m tired of Fenix and his stupid soul patch.