From: InsertName on Ten of the Baddest Fictional Movie Weapons

Oh you [insert expletive],
How could you possibly forget [insert weapon I just randomly looked up on Google just to sound smart and/or like a total douchebag]! This list is [insert another expletive, possible misspelled]! And how could you think that [insert weapon from list] is even [insert adjective to describe weapon]? You [insert expletive referring to uselessness of writer]!
This list is ultimate [insert totally overused buzz-word of the day like FAIL to make you sound cool and/or like a douchebag]!

PS- I write stuff like this for a living at Gunaxin.com. I now exactly how you feel. Keep up the good work and have fun with it. You are never, ever going to please everyone.

Peace.

Hah, this made my day. All you regular readers never do stuff like this, and I love you for that, but we get the occasional Google troll who comes in and berates us mercilessly for not including their favorite whatever in a list of best whatevers. It’s one thing to tell us we missed something, but no need to be a douche about it!

I don’t feel old very often at my age, but I do when I remember seeing this super retro anti-smoking ad like it was yesterday. It’s about a cool kid who doesn’t smoke because it’s, you know, whatever.

Well, that cool kid would grow up to be Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, making this classic ad all the more classic. I would have preferred a Charlie Kelly video though, because we all now how amazing his commercials are.

Is Geek Squad really this hard up for cash or are they really this greedy?  I honestly can’t decide which one Geek Squad is guilty of.  Has anyone here ever used Geek Squad?  Like ever?  Have you ever met someone who is in the Geek Squad?

I’m pretty sure they’re just annoying people with glasses in commercials.  I have never physically seen one in a Best Buy (which is where I thought they resided, apparently I was wrong).  But I’m glad to know that for just $129.99 you can invite one of these strangers into your home to set up your PS3 console.

Jesus Christ what kind of morons are out there?  I assume so many morons that the folks at Geek Squad think they’ll shell out this cash due to their idiocy.

Good luck with this offer guys.

News has broken that 38 year-old Dexter star, Michael C. Hall, has been battling cancer for a while now. The good news is, the only reason the story is coming to light is because Hall says that he’s almost beaten the damn thing, as his Hodgen’s lymphoma is said to be in remission.

What exactly his course of treatment has been is unclear, but he is heading to the Golden Globes this weekend as he’s nominated for Best Actor in a Drama. I guess we’ll see what effects, if any, the treatment has had on him, but it’s great news that he seems to have kicked its ass, but would you really expect anything else from a man who has killed 70 other mass murders?

All the best to you Hall, and hopefully you’re out of the woods for good.

Now, go donate some money or something.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPy0cEzUNgs

So everyone says that just because I’m a big fan of French and Japanese rap, that makes me have terrible taste in music, but one “normal” band I like, and the last concert I went to, is Muse.

As you’ll see in this video, their song, Exogenesis, just so happens to perfectly sync up with footage of “the known universe” like it’s Pink Floyd and the Wizard of Oz or something.

I like to believe if astronauts took off their helmets in outer space, this is the song they universe would sing to them right before their heads exploded.

It appears the economy is so bad, that we’re actually turning to the Dark Side of the Force for assistance now. This explains why Darth Vader showed up to ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange today, injecting a bit of much needed badassery into the proceedings.

I’m not exactly sure what the occasion is, as I figured someone dressed up as a giant blue alien would be more relevant, but maybe there’s a new season of the The Clone Wars starting or something, which would explain the far less cool rainbow colored Stormtroopers surrounding him.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIF3Jo61xlE

So regular readers will know that I’m a big fan of David Cross from his days on Mr. Show to his epic turn as Tobias on Arrested Development. When I saw his stand up a few weeks ago, he showed us a clip from his new UK show, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, and now I have part of that clip to show you here, as the one he showed us was about five minutes longer. But we paid $30 to see him, so screw you.

It features Will Arnett who I do not believe will be a regular part of the show, and Spike Jonze and Amber Tamblyn show up as well. Also, I’m guessing they don’t have recurring roles, which is too bad. I think the show definitely has potential, and hopefully it lives long enough to get picked up by HBO or Showtime.

So what do you think?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maCSZFEPwzc

Apparently the guys behind this video series have been doing a “Mythbusters” series for video games tomorrow, and now that I’ve seen this one, I’m thinking about compiling a list of their greatest hits for tomorrow, but this video is their most relevant work to date, as it’s about the recently released Modern Warfare 2.

Some of these things I had no idea were even myths in the first place, and I’m trying to figure out how many takes it took to set up that one bouncing fire hydrant throw. Many of the myths here will explain some of your “how the hell did I die?” moments, but most you can’t exactly “plan” because if you have the ability to bank a launched grenade off of two parked cars and embed it in someone’s skull, I don’t want to be in the same game as you.

I think the most useful myth here is the matresses in Afganistan one. You’ll see what I mean.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNScRM_NzLI&feature=player_embedded

This is the Michael Bay-directed commercial for Victoria Secret’s “One Gift, A Thousand Fantasies” campaign where we learn that among Michael Bay’s fantasies are girls with diamonds on their face, girls throwing knives at other girls and girls in lingerie directing explosions and helicopters on one of his film sets.

Is Bay trying to be a parody of himself? I’m not sure, but when you only have a minute and a half to film and you STILL cram in a helicopter and an explosion, it seems like you’re trying pretty hard.

It’s better than you’re average Victoria’s Secret commercial I suppose, but blending a a desert, the playboy mansion and a circus into a 90-second spot makes you lose the plot a little bit. Plot? Sorry, what was I thinking, this is a Victoria’s Secret commercial.

I always wondered who thought up Victoria’s Secret’s ad campaign. “Let’s literally find the eight HOTTEST WOMEN ON THE PLANET and have them  model our lingerie.” Now that’s aiming for the moon, hitting it and setting up a base camp there complete with a water park.

Most of you readers of the site will know by now that my love for Arrested Development knows no bounds. I have the curse of constantly comparing every new show to it, and realize that nothing will ever be as good.

When it was on the air, it was practically comedy perfection, and I’ve written previously on some of the show’s best recurring jokes, but now I want to do something a bit different.

I’ve compiled a list of jokes that are so stealthy and sneaky, many of them I still didn’t get after multiple viewings of each season. Some are homages to other projects, some are just clever lines foreshadowing events to come, but all are equally awesome. I have twelve of my favorites below, but know that there are many, many others I could have posted, and a few I’m sure I’ll finally discover upon my next viewing. The show really is that deep.

If you spotted some of them already, congrats, you’re smarter than me, but if you claim to have gotten all of them on your first time through, sorry, but I just don’t think I believe you. And also, I know I’m breaking the rule of “if you have to explain a joke, it’s not funny,” but I don’t think that applies in this case.

Enjoy:

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