Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Jun 26 2014

Dan Mora’s Batman Cast

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In case you forgot, this year marks the 75th anniversary of Batman, and that means a whole hell of a lot of tribute pieces for the caped crusader (and his rogue’s gallery). This batch is from Dan Mora.

Has any other hero in pop culture been so defined by his villains? Yeah, Supes has Zod, Luke has Vader and Potter has Voldermort, but the scope and depth of Batman’s foes has always impressed me.

Oh, and Bane’s below, because he’s so huge that he wouldn’t fit with the others.

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Jun 25 2014

The Final Countdown: Harrison Ford, Picturing Incorrectly and Game Devs

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Audi At "Ender's Game" Premiere

Go here to see the best Harrison Ford movies.

“With Episode VII of Star Wars on its way and set to hit theaters next year, along with news that Harrison Ford was just recently hurt on set and had to leave the hospital in a wheelchair, that go us thinking about the prolific acting and his long and very impressive career of playing incredibly iconic roles. Jack Ryan. Indiana Jones. Han Solo.”

The Countdown

20 things everyone pictures incorrectly – [Cracked]
Female developers on the rise in the gaming industry – [Insert Coin]
Aereo killed by the Supreme Court – [TVO]
The five richest pro poker playeres – [Worthly]
Gordon Ramsay is done with Kitchen Nightmares – [CelebrityToob]
10 amazing facts about The Lion King – [FilmDrunk]
The best catchphrases on TV – [GeeksAreSexy]
A gallery of touching photos – [TheChive]
Watching all three Transformers movies at once – [WWIW]
13 handicapped animals that pressed on – [Caveman]
How to define a date – [Neatorama]
The worst nightclub promo ever – [OMGBLOG]

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Jun 24 2014

Um… Why is Transformers Going to Be Almost Three Hours Long?

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WHY???

Transformers: Age of Extinction* is going to be 165 minutes long. That puts it a comfortable 10 minutes ahead of the previous movie, and over 20 minutes longer than the first one. Its runtime will literally match The Bridge on the River Kwai.

I have problems with this.

There’s a lot that I might talk about here — the rampant “more is more” disease that plagues action movies, or the emphasis on trailer shots and marketing images in lieu of storytelling and character, but mainly I just don’t get it.

It’s not why these things are bad that’s confusing. I get (but don’t like) that what we call “Hollywood” is a business first, and thus less concerned with story than with assets like marketability or brand recognition. What I don’t get, is why the most crassly commercial movies are so often the ones with such offensively bloated runtimes.

Continue Reading »

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Jun 17 2014

NewTube: YouTube Channels You May Not Have Seen

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We have reinvented television. When before we were slaves to three major networks (and PBS) now we can have 24 cat videos. I don’t know if it’s funny, sad, disturbing or all three that more people have watched PewDiePie than ever saw Shakespeare, Mozart, or DaVinci’s work in their lifetimes. Combined. Then doubled. Times ten. YouTube is one of the internet’s largest seas, and there are always new islands to discover for those daring to set sail.

But if you’re looking for a more direct destination, navigate towards these digital docks, crank up the resolution to 1080P and enjoy. Today I’ll be highlighting three unique YouTube channels that offer thrilling, off-beat, and always entertaining content the likes of which we only dreamed about as we waited for Nick Arcade or You Can’t Do That on Television to come on for those brief thirty minutes.

Switch to theater mode. Here’s some new Tube for You. Continue Reading »

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Jun 10 2014

“While You Were Sleeping” is the Most Frightening Movie We All Ignored

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Sometimes disbelief can only be suspended so much.

I hate when moviegoers chide whatever Hollywood outing they see before them because of meaningless minutiae. The people who give Batman movies crap when they don’t show who constructed the Batcave. The folks who get FURIOUSLY angry when Kitty Pryde just happens to have…time travel psychic powers?  Anyone who has ANY problem with the Back to the Future trilogy.

To me, those audience members are missing the whole point of going to the movies: escapism. We’re trying to get away from the real world when the lights go down, and if you’re too busy bitching about the plausibility of Toy Story 3, just stay home.

But there was always one movie that I couldn’t quite shake. One premise that always sang a sour note in an overall positive world of cinema symphonies. One film that was cute at first, odd when you really thought about it, and terrifying when you realized what it really meant.

Pour yourself some black coffee and stay awake with me, Unrealtors, because you don’t want to know the horrors of what might happen…while you were sleeping. Continue Reading »

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Jun 10 2014

Ranking the Badass Films (and Episodes) of Neil Marshall

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So, Neil Marshall rocked the house again in this week’s Game of Thrones. First “Blackwater,” now “The Watchers on the Wall.” He may be at risk of becoming a default choice for the creative team on that show. “So, we have this giant battle epis–” “GET NEIL.”

Still, if he gets stuck in that role it’s only because he’s a damn fine director. Despite not being anything approaching a household name, Neil Marshall has been one of the most reliable action directors in the biz over the past decade or so. Where most action cinema is moving towards weightlessness and incoherence, Marshall is getting better and better at delivering story-driven action that delivers weight and clarity.

So, in honor of “The Watchers on the Wall,” we’re going to sit down and rank his entire filmography. You’ll never guess what makes the top slot! Okay, yes, it’s The Descent. But, uh… you’ll never guess where Game of Thrones winds up!

(Also, I can’t care to check out Black Sails, so those in the know should weigh in below and tell me where that one belongs.)

Continue Reading »

2 responses so far


Jun 05 2014

The Final Countdown: Tom Cruise, Commercial Things and Watch Dogs vs. GTA

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Go here to see how amazing Tom Cruise is at the box office.

“In fact, as a critic, Tom Cruise films are some of the most difficult to write, if only because we know that positive reviews — and by and large, that’s what Tom Cruise movies receive — are going to be met with hostility from readers and commenters who judge his films based on their relationship with Tom Cruise.”

The Countdown

Four things commercials will never show you – [Cracked]

How Watch Dogs could dethrone Grand Theft Auto – [Insert Coin]

Ranking the ghosts from Ghostbusters – [FilmDrunk]

Honest video game titles – [GeeksAreSexy]

Darren Aronofsky behind new HBO show – [TVO]

When an engineer owns a dog – [Neatorama]

The headline of the day – [WWIW]

A few nostalgic pictures for you – [Caveman]

Obama filmed working out – [TheBlemish]

A wimpy goat goes for the gold – [theChive]

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Jun 05 2014

Zero Charisma: The Passion of the Geek

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A recent trend in filmmaking and television is attempting to capture the essence of nerd culture by telling stories of role-playing. It can be either pen-and-paper or live action. Community did it, as did Supernatural, Paul Rudd and Sean William Scott starred in Hollywood’s Role Models, and a slew of independent films like Knights of BadassdomGamerz, and The Gamers: Dorkness Rising have come around in the last decade to finally bring the nerdiest of nerdy activities out of the darkness of parents’ basements and into the light.

The best of these that I’ve seen is Zero Charisma. Out of all of the RPG portrayals, I think this one really cuts to the heart of geek culture by contrasting the classic neckbeard stereotype and inaccessible passion that fuels our love of the fantastic with modern sensibilities and social acceptance. It also has a wickedly clever title.

How does somebody who has been shunned their entire life deal with the modern concept of a cool nerd? The word “geek” originates from carnival sideshows where a performer would do things like biting the heads off of live chickens. This implies that the very act of being a geek should be revolting and bizarre to normal people, and for most of my life it was so. There were no Felicia Days, Peter Dinklages, or Summer Glaus for us back in the day; just asthma, endless allegations regarding our sexual preferences, and unhealthy fixations on Slave Leah. Continue Reading »

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May 23 2014

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

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Cutting the day a bit short as I’m heading out of town. Enjoy the holiday, Americans, and remember those who have served on your behalf. We’ll be back on Tuesday!

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May 23 2014

This Week In Movie Trailers!

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What? It’s Friday already? Woa! Did your week just disappear out of nowhere like mine did? Regardless, that means it’s time for This Week In Movie Trailers! , in which we have a bunch of movies that I never knew were in production as well as a second trailer to a movie that I absolutely cannot wait to see for some reason. So with that, let’s get to it! Continue Reading »

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May 22 2014

Rebel Without a Clue: The Rise and Fall of Deadpool

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This month I reached another depressing comic book milestone. I received my last issue from Marvel Comics for the foreseeable future. It was issue 27 of the latest solo book from my favorite comic book character, the Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool. Reading it was a bittersweet experience (which I’ll get to later), but the title was on the bubble for over a year and issues would occasionally collect unread on my shelf for months before I could be bothered with them, which is a sure sign that I’m not really feeling a series anymore.

It wasn’t always like this. Marvel comics used to be good, and Deadpool was the goodest. I discovered Wade Wilson around the time I started getting really into comics as an adult beyond the occasional graphic novel, about ten years ago. Fans will note this was around the time Cable and Deadpool was a thing, but I started checking out his solo run first, eventually deciding to include Cable and Deadpool in my inaugural list of online comic subscriptions.

Deadpool comics were unlike anything else on the market. You’ve got an immortal (Weapon X injected him with Wolverine’s healing factor in an attempt to cure his cancer) protagonist antihero who works almost exclusively for profit as an assassin, is possibly schizophrenic and certainly twisted and psychotic, compulsively talks trash in an almost constant stream, and has a complete disregard for…pretty much everything and everyone. It was a combination of black humor, badass comic book violence, and absurdist satire that regularly broke the fourth wall in ways that most comics would never attempt to do, much less get away with. This character was the inside of my brain in comic book form.

In his heyday, Wade Wilson wielded Mjolnir (sort of) and used it to parody Grey Poupon commercials and deliver a suitable rendition of KISS’ God of Thunder among other fun things. He waxed nostalgic about old-school GI Joe action figures while slaughtering hapless baddies, he found out he wasn’t who he thought he was (maybe) and criticized his own writers for their handling of it, dragon-punched Kitty Pryde (complete with “shoryuken” cry), made out with the incarnation of Death, lusted after Golden Girls, was cursed with the face of Tom Cruise, traveled back in time to a classic Spider-Man issue to offer some harsh commentary, and generally made the Marvel Universe his bitch. Continue Reading »

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