Oct
01
2009

As of now, no machine has “passed” the Turing test. In the movies, however, that’s a completely different story, as we’ve seen literally dozens of artificially intelligent characters whose programming functions at a level that is indistinguishable from that of a human brain. I did my best and ranked what I thought were the top 10 artificially intelligent characters in movies, but I had to lay down a ground rule first. To qualify, the “machine” in question can’t have started off as a human. Its programming can be based on a human mind, but building around a human mind is off limits…so no Darth Vader or RoboCop. Next, this isn’t a rankings of just any robot - only sentient machines. Got it? Cool. Keep reading to see the top 10 artificially intelligent characters in movies, presented in descending order.
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Jul
09
2009

Not that I’m not blown away by the computer animation seen in today’s movies, but I sort of miss the traditional animation, particularly in Disney movies. We may see a reversion back to that type of animation here and there, but for the most part, I’m afraid it’s gone for good. One of the things I really liked about the traditionally animated Disney movies were the villains. It takes a real sadistic villain to make the protagonist seem heroic, and some of Disney’s villains have been quite memorable. Especially when they get to sing a song about how evil they are.
I went ahead and ranked the animated Disney villains in this edition of Unreal Power Rankings, except instead of the top 5, I ranked the top 10. After the jump, take a look at the very best animated Disney villains presented - as always - in reverse order.
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Apr
16
2009

While the breadth of his work isn’t as vast as that of, say, Stephen King, the late (and great?) Michael Crichton has written quite a few novels that were subsequently adapted into major motion pictures. Like those for King, many of the adaptations have turned out to be utter crap, while others have stood out as great films. As an aside, I always thought some of Crichton’s best writing was when he was tackling real issues - like global warming - and not necessarily his ventures into science fiction and suspense. But this isn’t a political site, so let’s get right into the Power Rankings. After the jump, take a look at the top five movies based on Michael Crichton novels, presented - as always - in reverse order. And by the way, I know that Westworld was written by Crichton, but it wasn’t a novel, hence its omission from these rankings.
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Apr
07
2009

It’s well established that ninjas rule everything around them and are totally sweet. Video game creators certainly know this fact, so it’s no surprise that ninjas have appeared in various video games throughout the years. Just about all of them kick ass, but some stand out much more than others. I recently played Ninja Blade demo - which I thought sucked - and got to thinking about the coolest, most bad ass ninjas in video games. Naturally, I created another Power Rankings. After the jump, take a look at the top five video game ninjas presented - as always - in reverse order.
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Mar
31
2009

3-D or not, don’t tell me to prepare to get served. My crew and I have been battling since the 8th grade; I will pop and lock all over a frosted a doughnut. I thought that Step Up 2 would be the last dance movie we’d see for awhile, but I guess I was wrong. I will be wearing my Adidas jumpsuit and will be bringing a sheet of cardboard to the theater for this one. Served my ass. Maybe I’ll even ask Sonny to come with me.
Also, those are some big f*cking meatballs.
Feb
05
2009

Nattyb mentioned to me the other day that he thought the quality of Ridley Scott’s movies had really declined in recent years. Prior to our conversation, I hadn’t given that much thought, but afterwards, I realized that my friend was correct. Scott’s films don’t stink by any means - he’s still a great director - but his more recent works (with the notable exception of American Gangster) can best be described as forgettable. I’ve ranked the top five movies directed by Ridley Scott and presented them - as always - in reverse order.
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Jan
30
2009

There has never been an action star like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I think it’s safe to say that there never will be. It’s not just that today’s action stars are scrawny by comparison, but Arnold possessed a unique charisma that is to this day is nearly unmatched. Arnold has starred in in many, many memorable flicks in a variety of genres ranging from science fiction to comedy. Here are the five best Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, ranked - as always - in reverse order.
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Jan
14
2009

There’s rarely more than two or three good comedies in any given year, so 2008 was a terrific year for the genre. Even better, the movies for which I didn’t have high hopes turned out to be hilarious. While we wait for I Love You, Man, Observe and Report, and Bruno (God, I can’t wait for Bruno) in 2009, let’s take a look back at the best comedies from the past year. With apologies to Hamlet 2 and Zack & Miri Make a Porno, we’ve ranked the five funniest movies from 2008 - in reverse order, as always.
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