Archive for the 'Morning Link' Category

Aug 29 2014

The Morning Link: Jokes You Missed If You Only Speak English

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jokes

But seeing as that might technically count as juvenile cultural insensitivity, most bilingual filmmakers compromise and season their work with fewer overseas curse words and more actually funny foreign-language jokes.”

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Aug 28 2014

The Morning Link: Please Never Revive These Shows

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clarissa

Unnecessary ’90s nostalgia is all around us, from the hoopla over the most likely “oh god, why is this happening?” Full House revival, to all the down and dirty details of Lifetime’s Saved by the Bell…thing. Here are 10 shows that should never, ever be revived, whether because they’re great as is or because they’re terrible and we shouldn’t feel nostalgic for them. EVER.”

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Aug 27 2014

The Morning Link: Nine of the Top 15 Earning TV Actors are on CBS

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list

“Forbes has released its annual list of the highest paid television actors of the year. It what should be a surprise to no one at this point, it is just lousy with CBS employees. Specifically, your parents’ favorite network is responsible for 9 of the 15 entries, and all of the top four. And one of the other six is Charlie Sheen, who was replaced on Two and a Half Men by this year’s number one, Ashton Kutcher. Don’t believe me?”

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Aug 26 2014

The Morning Link: The Reality of Paid TV Audience Members

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audience

Much to the consternation of the world’s laugh track aficionados (hi, you two!), most game shows, talk shows, and sitcoms are still filmed in front of a live studio audience. But hasn’t it always seemed a little odd that there are apparently tons of tourists for whom there is nothing better to do in Manhattan than sit in on an episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Sure, people like Jon Stewart can pull in a crowd, but who the hell are all these people laughing at Jay Leno’s terrible jokes?”

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Aug 25 2014

The Morning Link: Movie Plots Solved By Common Sense

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gotham

We appreciate movies for their ability to keep us entertained for a couple hours. Sometimes, though, a couple hours seems unnecessary when when a plot can be resolved in a matter of minutes. Our readers demonstrate this by taking some of our favorite movies and showing us how simple their plots really are to solve.

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Aug 22 2014

The Morning Link: Video Games Invented Inside Video Games

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super mario

“Emergent gameplay” is a pretentious way of describing what happens when a game is played in a new or unexpected way. Have you ever gotten so mad at someone in Mario Kart that you dedicated yourself to following them around and beating them senseless with shells instead of racing? Or maybe you used Animal Crossing as a setting for hardcore bestiality cybersex? Both are versions of emergent gameplay.”

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Aug 21 2014

The Morning Link: A Guide to Charlie’s Illiteracy

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kitten

Charlie didn’t start out the series illiterate, as the cast were for the most part semi-functioning human beings when the series started — only to devolve further and further into depraved caricatures of themselves. (Not a bad thing, here.) So in honor of Charlie’s illiteracy, I thought I’d take a stroll back to see exactly how it started and progressed, and how he became the uneducated berserker he is today.”

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Aug 19 2014

The Morning Link: The Five Worst Things To Ever Happen on True Blood

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worst

Yup, I’m one of the few people who’s still watching True Blood, and nope, I don’t have a good reason. I’m just one of those people who once they start watching something, they have to finish it. (Likewise, I saw Dexter all the way to its lumberjack-y end.) With next Sunday’s True Blood series finale in mind, I forced myself to remember all the ridiculous things that have happened on this show, and picked out the five worst.”

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Aug 19 2014

The Morning Link: All 86 Saved by the Bell Episodes Ranked

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ranked

The Hawaiian Style TV movie that was later chopped up into four syndication-edible episodes is not included, nor are the Good Morning, Miss BlissThe College Years, or The College Years‘ Las Vegas movie, for reasons that should be obvious. Saved by the Bell: The New Class is a totally different show; kindly get the hell out of here for even asking about it.”

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Aug 15 2014

The Morning Link: Major Movies As Seen By Minor Characters

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toys

“They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. And sometimes also “That one character who got 5 minutes of screen time totally deserves a full-length feature.” We asked you to go back into some of our favorite movies and show us what those films would be like from the point of view of one of the proverbial red shirts.”

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Aug 14 2014

The Morning Link: Ways to Save the MCU

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IRON MAN 2

“Guardians of the Galaxy is crushing the box office, so it seems like Marvel has the magic touch. They’ve been consistently catching lightning in a bottle since frickin’ 2008 with so sign of letting up, so it’s probably safe to say that superhero movies will be around forever now, right?”

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