Aug 14 2013
Now that both shows are drawing their last breaths and airing their final episodes, you’ll probably see me drawing a lot of parallels between Dexter and Breaking Bad. Except there won’t be many parallels because Breaking Bad knows exactly where it wants to go and isn’t wasting a second to get there.
And in Dexter we have Masuka seeing his daughter’s boobs in a topless bar.
Though this may be the weirdest subplot in the show’s history, it’s not even the biggest problem with the show right now. Rather, with five episodes left, I have no idea where Dexter is going, which wouldn’t be a problem, but I don’t think the show knows either.
I will credit this week for not being slow, and for “things actually happening,” but what the what? Just last week we moved on from the brain surgeon killer, from Dexter and Deb’s drama, and now Dexter was going to start mentoring a new young killer. Now this week, Hannah shows up and everything gets thrown out the window so Dexter can help her escape from a controlling rich dude who, like Hannah’s father, appears and dies over the course of one episode.
“Ooo you’re so pretty I just forget about all my other character motivations when you’re around!”
If you introduce a major character and he dies by the end of the night, you’ve done something wrong.
So now Vogel’s shadiness is on the back burner completely (she still has secrets but they’re beyond irrelevant right now), and Dexter straight up abandons his new protégé so that he kills his neighbor out of murderous frustration (that was telegraphed all episode). Also, shouldn’t Dexter be one of the prime suspects in her murder? He lives next door, was dating her before he was essentially dumped for another dude, and has also been accused of murder before. And they’re letting him work the crime scene? Seriously?
And then…Hannah. I hated her character last season, and now she shows up and makes everything terrible again. She drugs Dexter and drags him to the middle of nowhere because…why exactly? By the end of the episode I still couldn’t figure out why she did that.
She then reveals that her plan was to get Dexter to kill her new rich casino magnate husband. Then she changes her mind. Then she kills him herself. Then she has Dexter chop him up and toss him in the ocean anyway, cleaning the plush carpet of the yacht with bleach which totally wouldn’t look suspicious to anyone who would step foot in that room.
“When I said get a day job, I did not mean murdering my neighbors.”
So now Dexter’s one-episode protégé has killed an innocent girl and probably needs to die. Dexter has lost the trust of his sister, again, because she spies him helping Hannah on the boat and will probably end up reading about the guy going missing in the next few days. So…what? What are we doing here?
The only barely interesting thing that happened all night was Deb’s boss finally flipping out on her in a way that was almost scary. She apologized and everything was cool, but that was a dark side of that guy we’ve never seen before, and made me think there could be more to him. But then again, I’m not falling for this show’s red herrings anymore.
This show has no villain, and it’s not like Breaking Bad where everything has come around full circle and Dexter is the villain. There just isn’t one, or if there is, it keeps switching every other episode. First it was the brain surgeon, then it was maybe Vogel, then maybe Deb, now maybe this psycho kid, now maybe Hannah. The show is just all over the place and I can’t believe they didn’t have a better master plan than this. There’s almost nothing that could happen in these last five episodes that would convince me this was all worth it.
I’m just disappointed. I’ve been wondering about what the end of Dexter would look like for years now, and this is just nothing like I imagined, a hodgepodge of pieces thrown together without anything resembling a coherent path to a satisfying ending. It’s not the worst season ever, but nor is it anywhere close to how good the show used to be, and how it deserves to end.
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