Jun 25 2013

Five Theoretical Superhero Moves I’d Love to See

Published by at 12:00 pm under Comics,Lists,Movies

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I’m all Man of Steel-ed out at the moment, though I’ve loved discussing the movie with you all the past week or so. I am however, finding myself thinking about the future of superhero films now, as they obviously aren’t going away any time soon.

Perhaps this is fantasy daydreaming, but I sat down and thought about what heroes I’d like to see onscreen, and which director I’d like supporting them. Some are obvious longshots, others could be slightly more plausible, but I’m not holding my breath for any.

Check out the list below, and feel free to post your own in the comments.

Tarantino’s Wolverine

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Once upon a time, I had high hopes for this summer’s Wolverine, back when it was being directed by Darren Aronofsky. But now with his departure? I’m much less enthused, as I’m worried about a repeat of the bloodless, awful Origins movie that came a few years earlier.

I understand that superhero movies are supposed to appeal to all audiences. I know that they desperately crave that PG-13 rating that will net them 30-40% extra cash. But a movie starring a man with ginsu knives on his hands simply cannot work within that framework.

This is why my ultimate dream would be turning Wolverine over to the ultimate champion of excess blood and gore, Quentin Tarantino. He’s a master storyteller, but more importantly would finally let Wolverine LOOSE in a way we just haven’t seen across five separate films now. A Wolverine movie needs blood like a Nicholas Sparks adaptation needs kissing in the rain.

Nolan’s Riddler

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Is it too cliché to ask for another Nolan Batman movie? Perhaps, but I’m going to do it anyway.

I love all of the original films, and weren’t dissatisfied by his villain choices for any of them. That said, when Rises was still just a loose collection of rumors, I was secretly hoping that we would get to see what Nolan’s version of The Riddler might look like, and my heart actually leapt when I thought the casting of Joseph Gordon-Levitt might actually lead to that.

Bane, Catwoman and company were fine, but after the dust settles, I still deeply wish that we could have seen what a master Riddler scheme from Nolan could have looked like. The director is known for his extremely complex and layered plots, and no villain would benefit from that more than the Riddler, in my estimation. He doesn’t need to be all bad puns and green suits, and I’d love to see him brought to life in Nolan’s world.

Whedon’s Wonder Woman

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Perhaps it’s blasphemy to request that Whedon jump universes from Marvel to DC for a movie like this, but if Abrams is doing it going from Star Trek to Star Wars, I guess anything is possible.

WE NEED A GOOD GODDAMN SUPERHEROINE MOVIE. The ones we have so far are an embarrassment, Catwoman, Elektra and such, and those attached to existing superheroes, Black Widow and Hathaway Catwoman, are just supporting characters.

Whedon is well known for his fantastic ability to write for female characters, which is why putting him on a Wonder Woman movie is in everyone’s best interest. I get that she’s a hard character to work with because of the goofy shit attached to her like American flag spandex, invisible planes and golden lassos, but there’s way to make it work, and I’d put my faith in Whedon to make it so. This may be why out of all of these theoretical proposals, this one has the most potential to come true.

Raimi’s JLA

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I know it stands to reason that between Batman and Superman, either Nolan or Zack Snyder should be put in charge of helming the eventual JLA movie. But I just can’t shake the feeling that Sam Raimi could put something truly great together.

A JLA movie needs to take itself as seriously as The Avengers, which is to say, not at all. Raimi is great with that as evidenced by his (first two) Spider-man movies. I say we can keep Cavill’s Superman, but Nolan’s Batverse can’t exist here, and Wayne can be recast. Other than that, you’d have Whedon’s Wonder Woman, who would fit, then a bunch of crazies like Flash, Aquaman and Green Arrow. The tone of such a film should be fun, not somber.

I have no problem with Nolan’s grittiness or Snyder taking Superman rather seriously in Man of Steel, but with JLA, you’re going to have to loosen up a bit to make it work, and Raimi would be the guy for that.

Wachowski’s Batman Beyond

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To this day, Batman Beyond stands as one of my favorite Batman related….things, in pop culture history. The animated show was brilliant when it aired, and equally so when I went back and rewatched it as an adult.

Obviously a potential film would be separate from all other universes, and that shouldn’t be a problem. But I would relish the opportunity to send in masters of the future, the Wachowskis as the team to handle such an endeavor.

Visually, they’d make the film stunning and would be fantastic choices to direct (so long as someone else handles the script). The tech and landscape of future Gotham is right up their alley, and I think they could work wonders with the concept.





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15 responses so far

  • Dex

    If fox has the balls for an R-rated Wolverine, I’m gonna put my vote for Gareth Evans at the helm. Go re-watch “The Raid: Redemption” and stick Logan in the middle of that!

    And it’s weird that there isn’t a good Super-heroine movie out there by now. Gina Carano as Wonder-woman pretty much sells itself.

  • http://nope hallamq

    Every single one of these is a great idea, the last one in particular blew my mind. I’d like to see Guillermo del Toro try his luck with any other superhero, even Green Lantern or Aquaman. I could also go for Alfonso Cuaron directing a Spider-Man movie.

  • http://museodelpixel.wordpress.com/ Manuel

    I will watch a Batman Beyond movie directed by the Wachowskis until my eyes dry up and die. I am pretty sure I will not be alone in that endeavor.

  • Cube

    I’d pass on a Raimi doing JLA. Spiderman 3 proved that he has a hard time juggling a cast that large and his tone is too light for what has been set up in MoS.

    A Nolan Batman/Riddler flick would be sweet but it would have to avoid the pitfalls that plagued Dark Knight Rises.

    I offer up Preacher directed by Tarantino. Django Unchained showed that he can do westerns and his style fits the high body count. I would rather see it done as an HBO series than a movie. The books are set up as perfect episodes and I would hate to see anything cut from them.

    Another I would like to offer up is The Sandman directed by del Toro. He can capture the fantasy vs reality mix as proved in Pan’s Labyrinth. Again this would be best as a series on HBO for the above reasons.

    Which makes me wonder why HBO doesn’t do a Vertigo Theater TV series? Time Warner owns both HBO and the DC titles. Why can’t they see that they are sitting a a nerd gold mine?

  • Joseph

    The Wolverine video game is very much like the movie you want to see. Check it out if you haven’t, it’s awesome.

  • Bud the Chud

    Static Shock would be one I would want to see, in addition to batman beyond.

  • David R

    These actually sound pretty awesome. Well, except for that Wolverine one, honestly. Tarantino’s MO is defined more by restraint than by excess (with the exception of Kill Bill Vol. 1), and I don’t know that he would be the perfect vessel for Wolverine’s animal rage. Aaronofsky remains the superior choice for me.

    I do kind of miss the days when we thought we’d get a Riddler in a Nolan movie. He seems like a flawless fit for the man’s aesthetics and story sensibilities.

  • J. Morales

    Well, with Wonder Woman you’d have to lose the invisible plane. Or at least, make it so that it is a cloaking plane, not one that leaves her visible (stupidest thing ever). Although, lately she seems to basically be Superman, only a woman and without a Kryptonite weakness, so depends on what route the movie goes. If she can fly, no plane.

    Anyway, the golden lasso I don’t think would be too problematic and the costume can be reworked, just, not how that TV show pilot did. Going for the darker, more muted tones of Amazing Spider-Man or Man of Steel should work just fine.

    Beyond that, I like all your ideas, especially Nolan doing the Riddler. I mean, seriously, watch the Prestige or Inception. Nolan doing the Riddler would be epic.

  • DaveyJ

    I never thought of a Nolan Batman movie with the Riddler, but now that you’ve pointed it out it sounds like a completely missed opportunity. I loved the Dark Knight trilogy, but The Dark Knight Rises for example got a lot of legitimate criticism. Nolan has a great attention to detail and psychological storytelling, but DKR never lived up to that (The Dark Knight didn’t have great action I think, but this was masked by the great story and – I know it’s a bit of a cliche to name him – The Joker). The Riddler however would’ve allowed Nolan to do some amazing shit with his style of storytelling, instead of having to resort to some mediocre action movie stuff within otherwise awesome movies. I understand why the movies needed much action though, it’s still Batman and a blockbuster, so people expect action.

  • Josh

    I strongly disagree that DC movies should be fun like the Marvel universe. It just doesn’t make sense. All of the DC superheros, movie or cartoon wise, have been serious characters. I would much prefer a dark, gritty DC movie series. This would differentiate them from Marvel.

  • cletus

    What i would give for an R-rated horror film about carnage/venom. Un pussifying the spiderman universe with a story centered around a serial killer could be epic.

  • Mark Miller

    Tarantino should direct a wolverine movie based on Mark Millar’s ‘old man wolverine’. Millar’s work is always very cinematic and that series I would argue would be even better in movie form than kickass. It takes a look at defeat and revenge in a way that Tarantino hasn’t done whilst still being perfect for his style. Plus comicbook violence king + movie violence king= Beauty in blood.

  • Scott

    David fincher deadpool. Make it happen.

  • Mark

    Interesting suggestions but I don’t think I would agree with any of them.

  • Daryl Nevin

    X-23 would be awesome on screen but sadly it would need an R rating for its justice. The amount of juvenal female nudity or partial near nudity alone that would accompany the current establish adamantium process would upset many critics. But that could be handled by having the process altered. Her lifestyle and choices from the comic books would have to be nitpicked trough to avoid the heavier degradation of prostitution and self-mutilation. But if she interacts with Logan we may see another Jackman performance to the roll and traveling with Gambit is also a appetizing prospect.
    For those who may not know about X-23.. She is an attempt at making a walking weapon by using Wolverines DNA and altering it to breed out emotion. 23 means she the 23rd attempt and first successful.

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