Nov 12 2012
Right now, my TV viewing habits boil down to two things. My obsession with The Walking Dead, and my obsession with Adventure Time. And I honestly believe the two shows are far more similar than one would think upon first glance, but that is a theory for another article. For now, I want to focus all my cosmic energy on the motley cast of villains that inhabit the candy kingdom in the mysterious land of Ooo.
Has there ever been a better, more colorful cast of rogues outside of Arkham? I think not. And do not let the cute pastels of the world they inhabit fool you, these creatures want to suck out your soul and slowly poison you to death and wear your skin like clothes, so don’t let the color palette lure you in to a false sense of security. That is just what the beasts want. Well, truth be told, the tragic back stories of some of these villains is half the reason I adore them, and the show itself, so much.
The Lich is the one that looks like he could be Keith Richard’s penis, incase you didn’t know.
I knew The Lich was way too awesome of a villain to be delegated to a minor role in one or two episodes, and the season finale proved I was right. The Lich was back, and boy did he screw up all of the candy kingdom. Last we saw Finn and Jake, they looked like this:
I wish you could have seen my reaction to Finn having a nose. It was like I saw God.
Okay, so per usual drug-fueled rant, I am getting ahead of myself. The Lich is basically a lord of the underworld, controlling the dead, and also trying to make everything in the candy kingdom dead. There is much more to it (he is embedded within a tree, there is a well of souls, and so on) but the main reason I have such an adoration for the Lich as a bad guy is because he is So uncharacteristic of this show. I mean, in a world where even the bad guys have some kind of whimsical charm to them, The Lich is full-on scary and evil as shit. Seriously, peep this dude, yo:
Wait, his skeleton is on the outside, like flesh? Jesus, that is messed up.
In a world where even most of the bad guys are cute, The Lich stands as a reminder that the land of Ooo may be hiding more dark secrets than any of us could imagine.
The fact that he is voiced by George Takei only makes him that much awesomer.
So, Ricardio is actually The Ice King’s heart that the Ice King brought to life in an attempt to seduce Princess Bubblegum. He is eventually defeated, but comes back three seasons later, looking like he looks above (having used Ice King’s internal organs to make himself a body) and attempts to win over Princess Bubblegum again. She challenges him to a fist fight (like most courtships) and she beats his ass, violently severing his tendons and telling him to “get out of her sight”, which he does by shambling away.
This seems to be another case of genetics and wizardy gone wrong, and as Princess Bubblegum began decimating him in that episode I recall thinking: Wow, the lines between good guys and bad guys on this show are wonderfully blurry.
Me-Mow the Assassin
I am using this picture to show you scale. Just because Me-Mow is small, doesn’t mean it won’t poison the shit out of you.
Me-Mow is a tiny assassin who we meet when it (she/he?) tries to kill Wildberry Princess. Thing is, Jake gets in the way, and Me-Mow goes up his nose (because Me-Mow is tiny) and sticks a poison needle into him. She then tells Jake she will only give him the antidote if he kills Wildberry Princess himself. Jake is warned that he will be killed if he tells Finn (or anyone ) the plan. I can’t be the only one who sees how incredibly messed up and awesome that plan is. right? Making someone kill someone they are friends with, so you won’t, in turn, kill THEM?! Why do people think this is a kid’s show? Because it is colorful?
Anyway, the real reason I love Me-Mow, besides the fact that it is a tiny, badass, cat-assassin? Because it was created by a young fan of the show, and cartoon network dug it so much they made it an actual character. The kid’s name is Gunnar Gilmore, and I am jealous of him.
And the way they finally beat Me-Mow (with super-dog-liver x 51) was stellar as well.
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