Oct 17 2012

Ten Words and Phrases that I Would Banish from Gaming Forever

Published by at 12:00 pm under Lists,Video Games

I believe in free speech. Most of the time.  Sometimes I’m just too fed up with people to care about the Constitution, and if I was supreme emperor of the universe, I would take these ten words and make it a federal offense to say them in a game. If you did, a squad would come to your house and summarily destroy your console or PC as you watched.

Perhaps that’s a touch extreme, but I think you’ll agree with me on at least a few these.

“noob”

This is it. If I could have this one, I wouldn’t care about most of these other ones. NOTHING good or meaningful has ever been followed by the word noob. If uttering it aloud or in text got you instantly banned from a game for a day, we’d all be better off.

“fag”

Nothing says “I’m thirteen” like calling someone a fag here in 2012. Yeah, I grew up using it as a slur too. We all did. But then do you know what happened? I GREW THE HELL UP. I don’t go around throwing racial slurs and “fag” isn’t any more acceptable. Which reminds me, every racial slur should be on this list as well, but I don’t have the space.

“u mad bro?”

This is what assholes say when you call them out for being assholes. Either they’re intentionally griefing or just being a dick, and if you have the balls to fight back, this is usually the response you get. Followed by:

“qq more”

QQ means crying, which I believe started in Starcraft, and this is a continuation of the taunting above that’s annoying as all hell when you confront a negative player on your team or the other.

“report plz”

Many games have a reporting system where you can report players who overuse all of these words. That’s all well and good, but the system gets abused and there’s nothing more annoying than having nine people threatening each other with the report button for the duration of the game just because they’re doing something crazy like getting killed by players better than them.

“ur mom”

I thought we were past this, but then I booted up Xbox Live again and sure enough, it will never die. Along with “fag,” there is no faster way to reveal your true age than to bust out this gem.

“troll”

Not to say people aren’t trolls when you play games by intentionally playing badly or messing with you, but I’m just so sick of this word my ears are practically bleeding when I hear it. It’s up there with noob in the sense that nothing worth hearing surrounds it, and not everyone trying out a different playstyle is “trolling” you.

“slut”

See also: Back the in kitchen jokes. It’s no secret that online gaming is hell for anyone who purposefully or accidentally reveals they’re a girl. It is ASTONISHING how shitty girls are treated online, and I always wonder who the hell these boys are who have been raised to call girls they’ve never met sluts? Funnily, they’re likely the same kind who would never dare talk to one in real life.

“camper”

I hate that guy who hides in the corner of the room with a shotgun too, but there’s no reason to dismiss this as a strategy in a game. Sometimes its necessary for say, sniping, but even for Mr. aforementioned dark corner, it’s a really, really boring way to play and can be easily countered by anyone even halfway decent at the game.

“half-life 3″

Not something heard in game but across gaming sites and forums? SHUT UP WE KNOW IT’S TAKING A LONG TIME FEEL FREE TO PLAY THE OTHER 10,000 AWESOME GAMES THAT HAVE COME OUT SINCE HALF-LIFE 2.





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28 responses so far

  • Limitus

    FULLY agreeing with the first five!

    the rest is forgivable, but especially the first should be inside some kind of filter in any game…

    let’s start a petition or sth…

  • http://saraclemens.com Sara Clemens

    Sorry Limitus, but “slut” and all its iterations is absolutely not forgivable. Paul, the last one actually made me lol.

  • dolaction

    Try-hard
    An insult blatantly misused by 13-year-old kiddies in online gaming who, ironically, try very hard to win themselves and take it too seriously when they lose.

  • Emanon

    This list is the reason I have any chatter muted when I play online.

    That being said, my best friend got my son a onesie that says n00b (from ThinkGeek) and I find that it is completely acceptable and adorable when used in that context.

  • GrandWazoo

    The last one irks me the most because Half-Life 2 took over six years to come out after Half-Life, so why are all of these fanboys QQ’ing (see what I did there?) when the third game takes even longer? Half-Life 2 was amazing. Let them take as long as they like with Half-Life 3 and it will be ten times better.

  • trashcanman

    Maybe this “internet” thing is not for you, man. Give people the ability to speak to other people without having to look them in the eye and all sorts off senseless stupidity comes out. I use a few of these, but only as a joke. When some dope is RAGING over goddamn nothing, I find a well-placed “u mad bro?” to be the funniest possible response. Spamming it everytime you do anything to anyone is another story. I also use the word “noob” but usually to explain why I suck in the most efficient possible manner. “Camper” is a legit description of a player whose habit is camping. Hurled as an insult… well I suppose only a qqing noobfag would do that. Also, ur mom is a slut who reports trolls talking about Half Life 3. U mad, Tassi? >:D

    I keed, I keed. Seriously though, you forgot “tryhard”, my personal favorite meaningless insult that you will never hear IRL. And I will fuck with a rake any gamer I find harassing females online. Not because I think girls deserve special treatment (even though they are pretty and smell nice), but because dudes are just so over the top obnoxious towards girls that ladies simply do not use their mics anymore and that pisses me off because even with all the inane trash talk, I actually find it much less fun to play online with people who don’t talk back. All of my favorite online gaming memories involve chatting and laughing with random gamers (some of which were female) and I just don’t get that experience very often on XBL anymore due to the immense dip in civility during the last decade.

  • GrandWazoo

    @trashcanman

    “Tryhard” is something I have heard a lot in real life, mostly on my college cross country team. I would guess it’s mostly used in sports-related situations. We usually used it interchangeably with “practice champion,” to mean someone who isn’t even close to being the fastest runner on the team who still insists on sprinting in front of the group in every practice session.

  • Vangelis Sofronas

    You just spoke on behalf of every gamer that just wants to have a good time online without annoying the hell out of everyone else just cause he’s a moron. Thank you.

  • David R

    I gotta say, sometimes your vents are really amusing to read.

    The most obnoxious one on here is “u mad bro,” at least to me. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with people who say that sincerely, but they seem to have come to the conclusion that being upset about something is a sign of weakness or simply losing. No phrase more completely sums up misplaced narcissism, to me.

    And before anybody says anything, yes I am a little bit.

  • Jon

    Honestly, I’m more tired of lists like this than any of those words. I hate all these words and the people who say them to the point that I very rarely play any multiplayer anymore, and never with a mic. But it’s more annoying to see every person who has ever written about games telling us how much better they are than the rest of the community. Great. Good for you. Write about something interesting now.

  • LazyStef

    Hah I understand how you can be fed up when people you play games with call you these names but come on they are necessary. I play dota and there is nothing more frustrating than busting your ass for 45 minutes to lose a game because of a noob(Or even enter a game and see that everyone has already picked a carry). Do not get me wrong i never rage or anything i just simply stating to this guy that “You know something you are a noob”! I do not expect nor want everyone on the game to be on the same level, but when you are not at the same level as the others at least play defensively and try to help your team in other ways. When I play on games I am not on par with the rest of the players i just support them whichever way i can, become a healing and mana restoring machine that provides as much visibility as i can over the map. Depends on the person but there are some people out there that when saying noob they don’t mean You are bad but rather you do not do what you are supposed to given the circumstances.

  • jediguy

    You are all a bunch of fag sluts. Seriously though words are just words. If you don’t like it ignore it. If can’t ignore it then mute them or go somewhere else. Nobody has the right to be offended in this country. It’s freedom of all speech or none of it. There is no grey area when it comes to the first amendment.

  • What?

    I would be okay with banning freedom of speech if stopped people from being asshats online.

  • http://www.unrealitymag.com Paul Tassi

    @trashcan

    That was good, that was good.

  • Frank

    Feel the need to chime in here and say that RAPE is entirely unacceptable in the scope of an online game. I don’t care how you try and justify it, it is unacceptable and contributes to rape culture.

  • mark miller

    I often use noob postitively on the Minecraft RP server I play on (Its the only place in multiplayer gaming where I count mysef as a non-noob) I use it to identify somone who dosen’t yet understand what they are doing, “oh his he a noob?” then go help, phares like “we were all noobs like this once” help calm people as I talk them over the slightly complex things they have to learn. Its not really any diffrent than calling first year students freshman. Also Its easyer than typeing “new person” and I can’t bear the word “Newbie” noob has a certain warm germanic feel like heart, king or Dad which I like. However I can’t stand it when people write “N00B” that looks terrible and is allways followed by offensive comments or murder.

  • Matt

    I hear pretty much all of these on TF2. Then you even get more specific ones for specific games and such, like “Scunt” which I hear used a lot to describe players playing the Scout class (in TF2 again), and then you get people who say loads of crap about Free 2 Play players, which just doesn’t make sense.

  • Charlie Ward

    “Yeah, I grew up using (fag) as a slur too. We all did.”

    Did not!

    Seriously, though, good list! I’d ban every one of these as well, except maybe “slut”, because from time to time I like to say “(Friend’s name), you ignorant slut” while gaming with my pals.

  • Mr. Right

    Best Unreality article ever.

  • Andy

    I’ve used “tryhard” a few times during my Call of Duty days. I’m not proud of it, but it happened.

    It’s one thing to dropshot when you’re being shot at, it’s a completely different thing to do it when you sneak up on someone.

    Also, I hate the word “scrub.” That one’s big in the fighting game scene.

  • Ace

    I haven’t seen too many of these terrible words in a while, but I guess it’s because I’ve given up playing games like Call of Duty and World of Warcraft for more fun with my actual friends. I think it depends on the game you play more often than not of when you encounter these idiots.

  • Summer

    Haha, as a girl online, I can get that. But I’ve had more people mistaking me for a guy (due to a genderless name and little talking). I think I could take each of those in small doses, in a fun way, but you’re right. I’ve seen kids shouting things I know they’d never say with a parent around, and they’re all srs bsns about it too. It’s terribly annoying but there are some communities out there that are nowhere near as bad.

  • GnomeSlice

    You completely missed ‘rape’ as a synonym for ‘defeat’. That would be my number one pick. That or any synonym for ‘suck my dick’.

  • Zaggnita

    Alright, peeps standing up for us girls!! WHOO!

    I have had some bad experience playing CoD with guys. And, I no longer can stand playing online anymore. Nearly everyone(guys) is moronic jerks nowadays.

  • SirTrollsAlot

    U mad bro? QQ more ya big baby. Get over it and stop being such a fag. I’m not trying to troll on you or ur mom. It’s called having humility and not taking people so seriously. Your offense is what gives negative energy to the words. If you stop being offended, the words lose their power as insults and just become… jokes really. I’m just gonna camp here and wait for half life 3 while I report sluts. Have a nice day, noob. :D

  • Mr. Yoke

    QQ doesn’t mean crying. It means to rage quit. It originated from WoW where the hotkey to instantly quit out of the game was to hit alt + QQ. I agree with most of these, except you really dont see people call others sluts on the internet. And the “report pls” thing hasn’t ever been an issue. I’ve never seen anyone say that unless they were joking.

  • tyler

    QQ is used for quitting (warraft or starcraft) i didnt originate meaning crying

  • Becca

    I’ve played online games for years. I used to run a guild in WoW. The amount of times we’d get someone applying to join saying “I’m a gurl. I can chat on TS, and I have big bewbs and such :D <3 "

    I always loved tearing them a new one pointing out myself and 4 out of 5 officers were women, and being female was no excuse for not knowing what you're doing.

    And yes i also get the OMG UR A GURL CAN I SEE UR BEWBS. followed by of course they can't. "Filthy slut" No sweetheart, that would I would be if i'd gone "Yeah sure!"

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