Oct 09 2012

Five Very WTF Movie Sex Scenes

Published by at 11:00 am under Lists,Movies

I recently wrote an article titled “Five Movie Sex Scenes that were Actually Significant to the Film,” and I got a request to write an article about sex scenes that weren’t.

To be honest, I could probably write a book about all the unnecessary sex scenes from movies. Since I have an (albeit loose) word limit, I’m just going to stick to really messed up sex scenes from movies.

Be warned: There may be spoilers ahead.

5. Wild Things (1998)

Wild Things is an erotic thriller in which everyone is trying to screw everyone else (literally and figuratively).

Neve Campell plays Suzie Toller, and Denise Richards plays Kelly Van Ryan. The two of them falsely accuse high school guidance counselor Sam Lombardo (Matt Dillon) of rape. At trial, Suzie admits to making the whole thing up with Kelly, and Sam is awarded a large settlement for defamation—money from Kelly’s trust fund.

Turns out the girls had been sleeping with Sam and planning the whole thing in order to get to Kelly’s trust fund money that she couldn’t otherwise touch.

Things end up getting out of hand, as things like this often do. People turn on each other, and some people get killed. Watch the movie to find out who.

The Scene:

Suzie, Kelly, and Sam engage in a threesome to celebrate early on in the movie. And it is awkward. You can see right away that the only one who really seems comfortable with it is Sam. It doesn’t make for a very enjoyable three-way scene.

Not to mention the fact that all three actors were a little drunk. Neve Campbell told Entertainment Weekly that she, Richards, and Dillon got drunk on tequila to “get past the nervousness of doing the three-way love scene.”

Awkward.

4. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011)

One of the most anticipated films of 2011, and part of one of the highest grossing film and book series in history, I don’t even feel the need to summarize it.

But, for those of you who are completely foreign to the books and movies, this is the one where Bella and Edward (the girl and the vampire, respectively) finally get married. Bella, however, seems less interested in the ceremony and more interested in the consummation.

Which brings us to…

The Scene:

Aggressive and borderline violent, I was actually surprised by a scene like this being in a movie based on a novel intended for teen audiences. What’s even more amazing is that they had to edit the scene so the MPAA would drop the rating from R to PG-13.

The scene was over the top and unnecessarily so. They could have accomplished as much with a mild under-the-sheets or behind-closed-doors scene.

Kristen Stewart (Bella) said that filming the scene was “very awkward” and that afterward she “didn’t even feel like they had just filmed a passionate scene.”

Personally, I watched the movie for the ridiculous birth scene.

3. The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

After an eight-year hiatus, the Batman returns to save Gotham one more (final?) time from the necessary evil that is Bane.

The League of Shadows is back, and Bane and Talia al Ghul, daughter of the late Ra’s al Ghul are bent on destroying Gotham City.

Talia, under the pseudonym Miranda Tate, becomes a member of the board of Wayne Enterprises, which puts her in the perfect place to execute the League’s plans.

The Scene:

Miranda Tate comes by to see Bruce Wayne, who has locked himself out of his mansion. Alfred has left him, and Wayne doesn’t exactly know how to function without him. It’s raining, and Tate helps him break into his own house.

Then they’re naked and kissing in front of the fireplace.

Wait. Why did this have to happen? Where was the lead-up? It’s not graphic or excessive; it’s just unexpected and extremely unnecessary. Sure, Bruce Wayne is was a billionaire playboy, but ever since Rachel, he’s been quite the recluse.

But maybe that’s why it happened: He missed being with people. Maybe he missed women. But you don’t just go around sleeping with potential business partners.

Some people complain about Bane’s voice, some complain about Bane’s defeat, and some complain about the ending. I complain about Batman sleeping with the daughter of his mentor.

2. Splice (2009)

I’m going to admit right now that this scene does influence the plot. But it’s still a WTF sex scene.

Two young scientists, Clive and Elsa, splice genes of different animals to create new creatures. However, there’s a problem. When females are introduced to male DNA (via sexual intercourse), they mutate into males and then fight for dominance against the other male.

Together, they create Dren, whom they adopt as their child-pet. Dren develops gills, wings, and a stinger, and grows older.

The Scene:

Apparently, Clive used Elsa’s DNA in the creation of Dren. Dren jumps Clive, and he eventually gives in to having sex with her. At one point in the scene, Dren stretches her wings and begins to coo. It’s weird. And wrong. On several levels. Elsa walks in on them and is visibly—and rightfully—angry.

Oh, but that’s not it.

1. Splice (2009)

Again.

Dren sort of dies, but then becomes conscious again. But she’s no longer a she. Dren has mutated into a male. Dren subsequently kills Clive—his competition—and then corners Elsa.

The Scene:

And rapes her.

It’s even more uncomfortable than the first scene.

Elsa then kills Dren. Later, it is revealed that Elsa is pregnant, which only compounds an already complicated situation.

Beyond the sex scenes, neither of the protagonists was very likable, and early on, I found myself longing for their violent deaths. Is that horrible?





More Unreal Posts


10 responses so far

  • Bad Acid

    I respected Nolan for not having much focus on sex in his movies (much respect for Inception being a movie about “dreams” and having no sex at all). I guess it’s justified since, yeah, that scene in Dark Knight Rises is wholly unnecessary, and only adds to the films pile of flaws.

    I read the abridged script (thanks for that link to them all those months ago) for Splice and was actually kind of scared to even watch that movie now…

  • Inter Milan Kundera

    The entirety of Cronenberg’s Crash is basically one super-long fucked up sex scene. That movie would make Freud bash his head in.

    Also, Teeth . I can’t even type that without quivering.

  • http://necromag.co.uk Electrohead

    I think Nolan’s desire to nod to the comics without copying them really hurt the movie here. You have “Cat-like Woman” who Nolan is just too good to call “Catwoman,” Bane wearing a mask for no reason, and a very poorly executed Talia who, instead of having a real, loving relationship with Bruce Wayne, just… seduces him randomly. Because Nolan had to acknowledge their relationship in the comics? Very WTF, sure, but you should at least note that it’s probably because of their comic book love story.

  • trashcanman

    Splice was definitely not afraid to push some buttons, man. Damn. Talia al Ghul and Bruce Wayne actually have a son together in the comics and a complicated on-off romance lasting decades , but Nolan flubbed almost every single character in TDKR, so naturally he had both the romance and subsequent betrayal come out of fucking nowhere because he felt he needed to cram a few extra cliches in there for the audience to relate to. Interesting pick. Have you seen “Super”? Talk about an awkward and uncomfortable sex scene. Yeesh. I think I love Ellen Page significantly less than I used to having seen that.

  • Eli diota

    Naked Lunch’s scene with the Arabian typewriter machine…

  • Zaggnita

    Is it wrong for me to like the Splice movie?

  • cage

    obviously nobody here has heard of Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie. check it out, I dare ya

  • Martin

    No mention of A Clockwork Orange?

  • Mario

    Zaggnita… I like it very much

  • Roman

    I’m sure someone said this before but Talia sleeping with Bruce is in the comics (when Bruce is Batman) and that is how Damien (4th robin/Bruce’s son) is conceived. Obviously I don’t know if that scene was a nod to the comics or just a sex scene, but with Christopher Nolan you would think he’s going for the nod and not just a shallow sex scene.

Celebrity Toob

Celebrity Gossip, Pictures, Videos, Net Worth & Bios

TVOvermind

TV News, Reviews, Recaps, and Spoilers

Categories

Archives