Aug 22 2012
Six Epic Comic Character Deaths
Everyone in Old Man Logan
Much like Ultimatum, Old Man Logan was a grim story, filled with some truly unsettling death scenes.
It takes place in a dystopian future where most of the world’s superheros have been killed off. Wolverine is (obviously) old, and has given up his Wolverine ways to seek a quite, rural life with his family. But, The Hulk is now the leader of some inbred freak clan (he was banging She-Hulk, no joke) and they sort of have this Hills Have Eyes vibe to this whole story.
No, really.
Did I fail to mention Wolverine is a real pussy for the first half of this book?
So long story short, Wolverine had better come up with some money to pay off the inbred Hulk family, or they will kill his family. So Wolverine goes off to get money. He comes across some fallen heroes, and some more fall. Like this moment, when Red Skull eyef*cks Captain America with his thumbs.
Yeah, Red Skulls thing in this book is killing heroes and housing their armor and outfits in The White House. It is bleak, but I kinda dig it, I won’t lie.
Luckily, Wolverine is not pulling anymore punches, and he confronts Red Skull. He still refuses to pop his claws, but that doesn’t mean he can’t cut off Red Skull’s head with a shield.
Because, you know, this is WAY less savage.
He then gets his money, and finds out that the Hulks Have Eyes already killed his family. So he goes extra ape-shit and finally pops his claws. This culminates with all the Hulk rednecks being killed off brutally.
“He had a fly on his forehead a second ago, I swear!”
He finally confronts Hulk, who, ofcourse, eats him.
Because, well, Hulk seems to be really sadistic to Wolverine in these alt.Universe tales, huh? But guess what? You never eat a Wolverine on an empty stomach!! Man, why didn’t Wolverine say that when he popped out of the Hulk?
Every time I write these comic lists, I realize that comic books may be the most disturbing medium of all at.
So then, after he pops out and finishes with his final killings, Wolverine (unofficially) adopts the last Hulk baby from the tribe and promises to himself that he will raise it right and give it a chance, and he puts it into a backpack and rides off into the sunset.
Wow, now that I have typed that all out, I can see how utterly-mind-blowingly-bat-shit-insane it is. Which is just why I love it.
Honorable Mentions:
Robin getting beaten to death by YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR EVIL WAYS.
Punisher beats in Doctor Dooms face until it squishes.
When KLANG turns to SQUITCH, you know you have hit meat and bone.
Every single person you love from The Walking Dead. No, seriously, season 3 is going to mess you guys up.
Cyclops in X-Men: The Last Stand. HAHAHAHA, I am just kidding. How lame was that?
Oh, and my homeboy, Deadpool, is killing all of the Marvel universe right now. I won’t ruin it, but what is NOT to love about that concept?
Oh, sweet Deadpool. My disfigured muse, covered in crimson.
More Unreal Posts
I like the article, but I wish the images were a little bit bigger/would link to a larger pic. Can’t really see it this way.
It’s pretty sad that I can’t recall any other eipc deaths. Nerd card revoked.
Old Man logan was really a hell of treat. Its one of my favourites, so brutal, not only in violence but representing the state in which the world has fallen.
i cant believe hitman was left out again..(spoiler alert) every great character dies in that comic and most off them have either heart wrenching or awesome deaths..( especially ringo) and an awesome quote when you go try to go whit dogs at your feet..but the final issue and the final deaths are a perfect ending..tommy has the chance at a decent life whit a good women and his best friend and saving a girl thats not only pregnant and wanted dead but can help bring a evil organization down ..but wlie there trying to save the girl tommys best friend nat the hat is shot in the chest while there escaping nat falls down dying and begs tommy not to leave him there for the bad guys to experament on him(you have to read the rest of the comic) tommy saves the girl but leaves her and his new love intrest to go back against an army to get his friend he gets one good shot against the main bad guy right between the eyes and gets shot up completely..him and his boy lay on the floor bloody and dying and they reminisce about all there dead friends siting around there favorite bar and drinking and beeing happy and how the bar never closes but they have to leave there guns outside to come in..heaven baby..the last issue is so much better than i discribe it especially if youve read the whole series but i hope i did it justice..any real comic book fan should check it out..
I always thought that Bart Allen’s death was pretty brutal. He loses his powers in the middle of a fight with the Rogues, and they proceed to beat the hell out of him and kill him anyway. It was also cool to see the aftermath, with some of the Rogues being haunted by what they did.
As for “Ultimatum”, I personally hate it. Everything was “shocking” just for the sake of it. The real shock is that someone like Jeph Loeb could give us so much good, and then lose his mind and consistently put out garbage like “Ultimatum” and “Ultimates: Vol. 3″ that completely ignore any of the actual established characterization. But, yes, the deaths were pretty insane. Great list, as always.
@blood, yes “Hitman” is extremely superb. If you ever want to see prominent DC heroes looks like idiots, well, there ya go. Classic Ennis.
I wanted to do a few Preacher deaths, too, but went with more well-known story lines to avoid any spoilers for great books (Preacher and 100 Bullets, for example).
And I KNEW I would catch heat for posting Ultimatum, but I had to give some legs to my “Grindhouse” theory, and this was the place to do that.
It is a shit-show of a book, no doubt.
But as far as deaths go, it is almost comical.
I think it merits a read just based on how bloody and over the top it is. I never said it was good, though. Hahaha.
I also almost went with Mary Jane getting poisoned by Peter Parker’s radioactive seamen, from Spiderman: Reign, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually speak of it.
I HOPE it’s a “Grindhouse” homage , haha.
I don’t want to sound insensitive, but I often thought that maybe he went off the deep end after his son died. I could see then how this was his way to get his anger out creatively. Like, my son died, then every and anyone can die, too.
A tragedy to be sure.
Personally I think the most epic death isn’t from a superhero comic. Anavel Gato from Gundam 0083 Stardust Memory. After nuking 1/3 of the Earth Federation’s fleet leaving it immobilized then successfully dropping a colony on Earth and out maneuvering the rest of the Feddies. His final mission was to regroup with Axis allies, by flying through the Feddie fleet between them. He didn’t make it, but he took out as many ships as he could and the last ship suffered him smashing his mobile armor the Neue Ziel right into it, both going up in a massive ball of fire. That is epic.
Don’t go quietly and don’t go alone.
@DocDoom, very powerful realization there. I worked in thanatology for a while (grief counseling) and would say you just hit the nail on the head. Actually, you should write out that theory and explore it. As dark as it is, that actually makes me respect Ultimatum even more. “If my mortal son can die, than so can these immortal heroes.” Wow, that is quite sad. Also, could be his resentment toward them (YOU guys took all my time that I could have had with my son, so now, you pay). Very well thought out, Doc.
One of the deaths over the years that stuck with me over the years was the relaunch of the What If series with What if wolverine was never deprogrammed and continued killing off supe heroes. It ended with Kitty Pride phasing her arm into his skull and leaving it there. And of course who didn’t like Punisher kills the marvel universe where his family is killed not by the mob but by a battle involving the x-men.
Deadpool’s death at the middle (end of weapon x storyline) of his 90′s run of comics is brilliant. He is basically turned into goo.
The article you linked to on Topless Robot wasn’t written by Rob Bricken. I know it looks that way, but just a bit under “By Rob Bricken” it says “By Alicia Ashby”. I guess Rob was just really proud to have posted it, or something. . .?
I will say, that although its not gruesome or anything, Dream’s(Sandman/Morpheus)death was…heart-shattering for me.. and its sooo simple. He basically has his sister “Death” just..I don’t know..end his life and thus, his son is the new dream guy. I say that his death was epic, some may disagree, but come on..Dream…dies…he dies…one of the Endless…dies…endless people aren’t supposed to die. But…he dies…*starts to cry*
i loved the Age of Apocalypse arc, and i think the brutality of it was what sold it. here’s all these characters rebooted or reimagined in awesome ways (Sabretooth + Blink), and then they’re (almost) all doomed when they fix the timeline…unless they were killed off in frame before the final showdown! even knowing it was an alternate reality that wasn’t gonna stick around anyway, they still made it suck to lose some of the best.
fuck you for being so awesome.
@Charlie, good call. Shoutout to Alicia Ashby!
Gee, thanks Greg!
Saved yourself by admitting what garbage Ultimatum was, and I appreciate (despite having read it) that you swerved around spoiling the reason Wolvie has gone all pacifist.