Jul 23 2012
Pulled Some Street Fighter 2 Sh*t on Kitty Pryde
You should never, EVER punch a woman. It is just wrong on so many levels. BUT, if you ARE going to punch a woman, atleast DRAGON PUNCH a woman, Am I RIGHT????!!!
Wait, why are there crickets in here, it’s daytime?
Who drew that stupid hat on Wolverine? Oh man, When I tell him he is going to be so pissed! I mean, note to self. W.W
So like I said, never punch a woman, but when you are on a site filled with nerds, like this one (relax, you guys are SEXY nerds) if you can make a video game reference, DO IT. And while I am being so honest, Kitty Pryde was lucky I was in my Street Fighter 2 phase and not my Mortal Kombat phase, or I would have had to tear out her spine.
Hopefully, right after she got really dizzy and stood there for a minute, and Wolver’Sporks said Fatality. Yes, I thought the whole thing out in my head.
FATALITY! Bam. We just won the Internetz. I sure wish I knew if I could type that here. W.W
If you guys think this is badass, you should see what I did to Ryan Seacrest. Sadly, we made up and I promised him I would never betray his trust again. Maybe I shouldn’t have shared that…
I Done Made A Kid’s Book
How sweet is it that I will tie this all together in a nifty little bundle that will make me look like less of a psychopath to all the good people’s of Unreality?
I know, it is stellartacular. Which is like a mix between stellar and testicular. Wait, that might not be what it means. I just made it up. Anyway, I made a kid’s book, full of useful and fun activities and life lessons. I have been told by a bunch of kids it is the best thing they ever read.
Alright, no kids have ever told me that. But they should have. A whole mess of them. Ungrateful miscreants.
We should tell them here how me and Captain America totes fought in between takes. Hey Editor, what is up with captioning? Email a brother back! Thanks. W.W
Note to self: Do not run this pic. Will ruin street cred. Note to self: What is street cred? Ps. Thanks. W.W
Other Awesome Things I Have Done:
Whenever the Hulk runs at me, I laugh. I laugh because I pretend he is Gumby, after years and years of steroid abuse. And honestly, it wasn’t that hard to trick him into impaling himself on a broken pipe so I could collect some of his blood. Big, dumb oaf. Of sounds like loaf. Loaf is a fun word. Wait, I typed it too many times so it doesn’t look like a real word anymore. I just Googled it, it IS a real word! *Starts breakdancing.
You guys would SHOCKED to hear how much Marvel ass I have gotten. I mean, from Black Widow to Domino, I have cut my way through the Mavrel U. Well, maybe not ass per se, but I made out with a few of them. May have even touched a superboob. Super boobs are the boobs on female super heroes. I don’t think that is what they are officially called, but I have been calling them that for years. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. All the chicks I get. And have you seen what I look like?
Note to self: How do I get that much ass looking like this? Note to self: Do not answer. Note to self: Say swagger next time I ask me that. Thanks. W.W
I rubbed one off in Agent X’s bathtub. Nah, I shouldn’t bring that up. No one remembers that comic ,anyway. Alright Wade, pull it together. I think it was Michael Scott from Bladerunner who once said: They can blow us up, but they can’t take our freedom. Wait, that might be wrong. Crap, have we taken our afternoon meds yet? We should probably stop typing stuff now. Oh, one more thing…
If none of that other stuff impresses you , I killed a bunch of mimes once. Everyone seems to appreciate that one on some level.
I guess it is a no go with the captions. Aw well, sucks to be me. Per usual. Again.
Note to self: Do not write ‘the end’. It feels forced. And make sure to high five self when finished. Untie Remy from box and give him back his life.
Note to self: Why are you still writing ‘The End’? We talked about this.
Dammit, WADE, stop talk-typing!
More Unreal Posts
- Wolverine Leaks onto the Internet Sans Special Effects
- Wolverine Origins Game to Be a Bloody Mess, Which is Awesome
- Superhero Optical Trickery
- This is Not A Car
- Searching for a Silver Lining: Four Things I Liked About X-Men Origins: Wolverine