Jul 18 2012
For as long as I live, from now until death, nothing will haunt my existence quite floating Medusa heads. I still see them in my nightmares. They are the very bane of platforming, and maybe the worst things ever besides Nazis.
You see that pose he is in? I must have spent four years of my youth straight looking at that pose.
Unlike the other games on the list, which all struck a nostalgic chord in me even though they were beating my ass relentlessly, this I played this game, it brought out immediate suppressed feelings of genuine trauma once I saw one of these flying Medusa heads. No joke. Cold sweats. Muttering swears to myself. Rocking myself back and forth. I used to work with survivors of trauma. I know the signs of P.T.S.D.
Not only do I know the signs, but I exhibit them when I play this game. Seriously, if I ever get a time machine, I will go back in time and beg young me to stop playing this game. I know I beat it, and looking back, I admire that.
But I admire that through the tears. So is that a victory, really?
Ghosts n’ Goblins
Wow, this was the point when I was just about ready to put the N.E.S away. This was no longer a measure of my own lack of skills in so much as it was a personal game to see how much pain I could endure. It became like an allegory for the movie Martyrs. I was put through so much pain, that I transcended and saw God. No, seriously, it was THAT bad.
So to put it in perspective, this:
How there are any photos of Arthur this far in the game with armor on is beyond my grasp.
Made me feel like this:
” Wait..I beat the game and I have to beat the entire game again to actually beat the game? NOOOOoooooo…….”
Seriously, do I even need to say anything else?
This was my breaking point.
So In Conclusion:
Man, life must have been hell for us as children if one of our favorite escapes was a means of entertainment that constantly beat us down like red headed stepchildren.
I do believe the hand holding in modern games has gotten a little out of hand (what, you are stuck? Hit select and an arrow will appear in mid air and show you which direction to go!), it was only once I had attempted to play some of my childhood favorites again that I realized that all game developrs used to hate children.
That really is the only conclusion that makes sense.
I wrapped that all up like an episode of Seinfeld.
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