May 23 2012
Keep The Masks On
So we are all led to believe that the Batman thing is really a curse. Fighting to a free and save a city that will never be truly free or saved. Trying to stop madmen, knowing the moment they go down, a newer and more diabolical one will appear in their place instantaneously. It is an exhausting job with no pay and little in the way of thanks.
So you would think Batman would embrace any opportunity he would have to take off his mask and revel in just being a normal person for a few.
Alas, that is not the case.
Cue love scene between Batman and the Black Canary, outside, on a rooftop, during a thunderstorm. Oh, and cue Batman telling her they are going to leave the masks on because it’s “better that way” and then Batman raw dogging her up on the rooftop during a storm.
I hope he is wearing a bat shaped condom he invented for just such occasions.
Now we realize leaving the masks on is an identity thing to Batman, who has a lot to protect and a lot to lose. But that is not how they word it. They word it like he is a kinky freak who does this sort of stuff all the time. So he laughs at a madman’s jokes and leaves his mask on during sex. You guys starting to see the bigger picture yet?
Batman Takes Some Joker Gas On Purpose
The Man Who Laughs is an amazing Batman story, and that point is only driven home by how batshit insane Batman’s idea is here. He allows himself to get poisoned by the Jokers toxin in hopes he can take the antidote he created to counteract it. But he will not know if it works unless he tries it on himself. And he can not try it on himself, unless he gets poisoned by the Joker first.
Again, this man willingly took a psycho-toxin knowing full well that even if he lived from it, he would probably never fully be the same again.
Do you want to see just how insane it gets? Well, this is the moment when the toxin begins to seem just a tad bit stronger than Bruce:
So for one glaring moment, Batman and The Joker were indeed, the same person. Sort of.
And though the story (obviously) has a happy ending, there are still such strong implications to willingly ingesting a psycho toxin. This was the Gotham City equivalent of Batman being willing to eat one hundred hits of bad acid in hopes the trip would “just pass”. Again, this gave us insight into just how far down the rabbit hole Bruce Wayne was willing to go.
This is not a normal man we are dealing with here.
Batman Of Zur-En-Arhh
You may have heard about this particularly insane moment in Batman’s history already, but really, it is all of Batman’s insanity coming to the surface, in glorious pastel fabrics. Before I say anything about Batman Of Zur-En-Arhh, I would like to take a moment to show him to you:
It is said this is his mental protection against the surfacing of mental traumas.
Though Batman of Zur-En-Arhh first appeared as an alternative universe version of Batman in the golden age, it was grant Morrison who brought him back, making him a sort of panic room in Bruce Wayne’s psyche if things get to be a little too much.
The best thing about this Batman is not only his insane clothing style, which screams ” I AM NOT WELL!” but his mindset, which is, well, insane.
He hallucinates Bat-Mite in this state (and Bat-Mite is awesome, so I can’t complain) and he tends to worry far less about whether he hurts people or not. Think of this as fight or flight Batman, from a psychological standpoint.
There should have been a whole gang in the movie The Warriors that dressed like this. The Batman Furies.
And anytime I find myself wondering who is more insane, more of a sociopath, and more of an overall madman, I no longer think of the Joker.
Even the Joker would find this Zur-En-Arhh outfit garish.
Now when I think of the ultimate costumed psycho, I think of Batman.
That poor man stuck in the moment from his childhood when he couldn’t do anything to stop the tragedy that would go on to both haunt and define him. And Batman himself, trying to overcompensate for that loss in any way he can. And while he may fight on the side of good, it is only a matter of time before this man breaks completely, a moment many think has already happened. And what then?
What happens when the good guy with all the money and gadgets decides he can’t take anymore? Well, ironically, he turns into the Joker at that point.
So you see, one cannot exist without the other, and in that sense, they are one and the same. There is much that comes with wearing the cowl, and torment and instability seem just as essential as heroism.
Other Bat-Shit Crazy Moments:
The Dark Knight Returns: From breaking the bones of the mutant leader, to killing Superman (and kind of dying at the same time) this proved old age Batman is the most insane and unstable, but also the most awesome, of them all.
Year One: There are many moments, but the scene where he causes the car wreck so he can escape the police car showed just how dark a road Bruce Wayne would travel down as Batman.
The Resurrection of Ra’s Al Ghul: Batman gets speared through the stomach with Ghul’s staff, and it does little else but piss him off. This is the first time I wondered if Batman was on meth.
Kingdom Come: Batman gives zero shits about protecting his private identity at this point, and walks around as Bruce Wayne, with people just calling him Batman. He has silver hair and a crazy steampunk-neck contraption, and he STILL kicks ass with little regard.
Final Crisis: Batman breaks his number one rule and shoots to kill. Only he shoots Darkseid, which just pisses off Darkseid and causes Batman himself to get killed. Instant karma, man. And though Batman was not “dead” in the normal sense( he was hurtled through time, ofcourse) it still showed that when it comes right down to it, Batman is f*cking crazy and will do whatever it takes.
See what happens when you break your own rules, Batman?
More Unreal Posts
- Five Particularly Cruel Moments From The Joker
- Eight Batman Stories Every Fan Must Read
- Working Class Batman
- World’s Stupidest Petition Trying to Ban the Joker from the Future
- A Supremely Badass Gallery of Joker and Batman Promo Photos for The Dark Knight