Feb 20 2012
Alan Moore likes to rape people. Wait, that sounded bad. What I meant to say was: When Alan Moore writes a comic book, it is not unheard of for him to use rape as a means to garner an emotional response from the reader. He does not shy away from brutal subject matter, and for that reason, you can often come away more traumatized from a well written comic book than you can from an over the top horror movie. I decided it was high time I shared some of these traumas with you guys.
Not all of these are Alan Moore moments, but a few of them are. And the scenes that aren’t from Alan Moore, were often writers doing what they thought was their best impression of him, plain and simple. In some cases, it works. In some cases, it was just too much. Either way, who knew comic books had it in them? ( Do I even need to say SPOILER ALERTS to you guys at this point?)
1. League of Extraordinary Gentleman- Hyde rapes the invisible man TO DEATH
This is the Alan Moore I am talking about. Can you see why he would not associate himself with the movie that came out bearing the same name and starring Connery doing his best Connery impression? This scene was so shocking to me, I was actually surprised it went into print.
The long and the short of it, The Invisible Man had been f*cking over the rest of the league for a while, and he thought no one knew, but Hyde could see him the whole time and he knew.Hyde could see him because giant half-man-monsters have thermal vision. No, really. Anyway, he exacts his revenge by RAPING THE INVISIBLE MAN TO DEATH. No, seriously, it looks like a giant gorilla raping the air, and it is soul-ruining.
And the award for most terrifying rapist goes to….
Hyde then goes to dinner with the league, and as he is explaining how he took care of their “problem”, more and more of invisible Man’s blood starts appearing all over Hyde. It is a BRUTAL scene, and one that seems to give proper insight into just how dark and twisted some scenes in comic books can get. Side note, you never actually see Hyde’s monster penis, thank god.
2. Green Lantern-girlfriend-in-the-fridge trick
So Kyle Rayner had a tough gig following Hal Jordan in Green Lantern. He wasn’t quite as cool. He wasn’t quite as tortured. So what did the writers do? They decided to screw him all up mentally and present a scenario to him that would break even the most stoic of heroes. In Green Lantern volume 3 issdue number 54, Kyle Rayner came home from space-work to discover his girlfriend, Alexandra had been killed and stuffed into a refrigerator. What a shitty thing to come home to. I remember up to that point Green Lantern was kind of a safe comic book, but man, that messed my head all up.
Oh man, the Chinese food is starting to stink…
Now, not to be less than delicate here, but we need to talk about the name of the villain who did this to the Green Lantern. His name was MAJOR FORCE. Yes, I am not making that up. That could be the name of a Sega Genesis game about a bunch of shirtless commandos. It could also be the name of an awesome metal band who used karate on stage as a gimmick.
Man, when a guy who named himself MAJOR FORCE stuffs your girlfriend into a fridge, you immediately know you are no Hal Jordan. Hal would have slapped that guy in the nuts. Either way, though. It was a shocking moment.
3. Kraven “kills” Spiderman, assumes his identity, than kills self. The old-switcheroo
Kraven’s Last Hunt is one of the greatest Spiderman stories ever. If you have not read it, DO NOT read this and go read it and then come back. Oh wait, I already spoiled the whole storyline in the heading up there. Aw man, I am sorry.
Well, the long and the short here is the Kraven the Hunter sort of exacts this very intricate plot against Spiderman that involves him killing Spiderman and then becoming Spiderman. His thinking is if he can kill Spiderman, he has bagged the ultimate trophy as a collector and hunter. Anyway, he kills Spidey, but not really, and then becomes Spidey, and saves Mary Jane while dressed as Spidey, and then he decides that he has lived the ultimate life of a hunter and in bagging his ultimate achievement, his life is all set.
So he does what any normal Russian man who dresses in the skins of his kill for fun would do. He lays down in a coffin and blows his brain out. Notice I didn’t put it plural? I did that because he only had one brain.
My coffin came with JELLY!
As an avid Spiderman fan at that point in my life, the story absolutely shocked me. It was not a suicide born from sadness or rage. It was a contentment suicide. Up until that point, I did not know those existed. Suffice it to say, they very much do. It also marked a decidedly more mature storyline for Spiderman.
I bet you guys thought I was going to write about the neck snap of Gwen Stacy, huh? Well, I’m not. I don’t want to jinx it in case it happens in the new film. Emma Stone’s neck cracking would be BOSS!
4. The Walking Dead: Governor makes out with zombie daughter
Yeah, you read that correctly. When picking a shocking scene from The Walking Dead comic, it is extremely difficult because there are so many. I knew I had to go with the Gov’, but I did not want to tell too much to those who don’t know and ruin it, because the Governor is one of the most vile characters ever written, and to spoil his atrocities for anyone just wouldn’t be fair. Plus, they are casting for him on the show, so again, I don’t wanna spoil too much.
I went with a decidedly minor moment that was never really brought up again, but one that shocked the hell out of me anyway. The scene when the Governor comes home to his chained up zombie daughter ( who some will say is his niece, but that is neither here nor there ) who he keeps and feeds. Even that, in itself, was awesome and shocking, but no. It gets weirder.
Pure nightmare fuel right there, folks.
Yeah, he sort of takes out her teeth and makes out with her. She is just a little girl for Chrissakes. What the hell? It is beyond creepy and shocking, it is vomit inducing. Zombie incest might win for the nastiest thought ever conceived. I read that scene, and went on to really worry about writer Robert Kirkman’s mind.
And it might not even be the actual scene itself, but it is what the Governor says to her during the kiss that really sits with you. The “give Daddy a kiss” line made me shudder.
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