Feb 17 2012

Six Past TV Characters that Should Return for The Walking Dead

Published by at 12:00 pm under Lists,Television

Shane can stay.

As you may know, I watch The Walking Dead each and every week, yet I manage to find about a dozen things I hate about each episode. It’s a strange relationship we have.

What it comes down to is that I love the concept, a show about surviving the zombie apocalypse, but hate the vast majority of the characters.

How to fix that? Well, I had an idea. What if you brought back some characters from deceased shows that aren’t around any more to come fight zombies in this new era? They’d be far better equipped to kick some zombie ass than the stupid Lori (“I better go tell my husband who left five minutes ago that we really need him to hurry!”) or appeasing Rick (“We must respect his belief that the zombies are sick people!). But these folks? They don’t mess around and would be not only the saviors of the group, but of all humanity.

1. Jack Bauer (24)


I really could end the list right here, couldn’t I? With Bauer watching your back, you almost wouldn’t need anyone else. The retired CTU agent could easily transition from hunting terrorists to killing zombies, and he wouldn’t even be on a strict time schedule! Last we saw of him, he was on the run from the government, but with the slate wiped clean, he could thrive during the apocalypse.

2. Kate Austen (Lost)


She was a fugitive from the law for months, and managed to survive for years on a mystical island that was a portal to the afterlife, or something. I think she could handle more than a few zombies, and we’ve seen her handle a pistol well. She’d certainly be better than Lori or that idiotic blonde chick who thought it was a good idea to shoot at a zombie that looked like Daryl.

3. Omar Little (The Wire)


The zombies couldn’t say it, but they’d be thinking it. “Omar comin’!” He was raised on the streets, and ripped of dangerous drug dealers for years. He’d be more than able to survive in the current zombie landscape, and he’d be way less of a token black guy than the current fellow who injured his arm once and has done nothing else interesting since.

4. River Tam (Firefly)


Yes, she comes from the future, but a space-time portal or some other such Maguffin could bring her into this new zombie filled world where she’d thrive. She’s more of a hand to hand combat person, but so long as she didn’t ingest a drop of blood as she was decapitating a herd of zombies in a frenzied whirlwind, she might be the most deadly survivor in the crew.

5. Tobias Funke (Arrested Development)


What? Not everyone has to be a master of weaponry or combat. With his cat-like reflexes and penchant for disguise (so long is the surrounding area is blue), he could be a valuable asset in the group, and provide some much needed comic relief in a show that has absolutely none.

6. Joan Holloway (Mad Men)


Alright, alright, so her show’s still on the air and we don’t know much about her combat skills, but there’s no denying that even zombies would have to stop in their tracks to admire those curves. And as they stood there, decaying jaws gaping, Jack Bauer and River Tam could get in there and end their undead existence for good. Every good flytrap needs some honey.

 





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15 responses so far

  • Rosstopher

    Half the cast of firefly could be on here. Id like to see Mal take on some Zombies and spew one liners every now and then. Or have Jayne going buck wild enjoying every minute of it.

  • Bad Acid

    They just need to bring back Merle. As horrible as that sounds, he’d shake things up, with Daryl and everyone else. Daryl is pretty much the most likeable character (IMO). I haven’t read the comics yet so don’t spoil it!

  • http://www.planethalflife.com Azenomei

    when is that handless guy coming back with a vengeance?

  • Andy

    Am I the only one here who couldn’t make it past the second episode?

  • Paul S.

    For the love of god – WALKER TEXAS RANGER! Chuck Norris is silently crouching, waiting to roundhouse kick the blasphemy out of your ass. Other than that good list. Tobias Funke for sure would be hilarious-hell, I would watch those garbage reality shows religiously if I knew I’d get to see the world’s first Analrapist in action.

  • Paul S.

    @Andy yes

  • Gothic Sora

    you’re an idiot Shane is the least like able person on the show

  • LeeginSeegin

    I’d love to see Sylar take on these zombies. That would be awesome.

  • chelsea

    wait a minute, there. did you just say KATE from LOST should be on the show? did you ever watch LOST? she was the dumbest chick on any show ever.

    she would never listen and was notorious for following the men when they specifically told her not to. she did the opposite of what she was told which usually ended badly. Kate just always caused more problems and got everyone into sticky situations because of her lack of common sense and inability to follow simple directions.

  • ash

    Yeah I’m with chelsea on this one. Also, we’re trying to get the cast to be LESS annoying. Kate and Lori are pretty much the same annoying character.

  • Bad Acid

    Also, it’s 1 season until finished, but Walter White from Breaking Bad. Yeah, I went there. Cliche answer but still, he’d make it awesome with CHEMISTRY

  • bigpartymaker

    Didn’t Kate get captured every other episode?

  • DisturbedCanadian

    Agreed, on a show full of bad actors, Shane is a bad character and is played by a even more horrible actor. It’s wearing thin. But I see his place because without him there would be no internal conflict within’ the group.

  • Joe Chill

    Ohh, I just blue myself :/

  • Randy

    yup Kate = Lori. Huge contradiction Paul! tsk tsk I’ll forgive you tho, the mere inclusion of Jack Bauer makes me forgive anyone

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