Jun 30 2011
Now I know it’s nearly impossible to please everyone here. I really just wanted to write this article to have a small walk down memory lane of Quentin Tarentino movies. Sure I know there are 1000s of amazing quotes that can be used, but I tried my best to pick one from each of these 10 movies that I felt struck a chord in me.
Doesn’t mean it struck a chord in you. So relax. Anyway, not all these movies are Tarantino directed but all have his involvement in the writing of the script.
From Dusk Till Dawn
OK we all know the funny stuff is the lewd Cheech Marin P*ssy Lovers! Scene but here’s another goodie.
Seth: Peachy, Kate. The world’s my oyster, except for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother’s heart because he turned into a vampire, even though I don’t believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything’s hunky-dory.
You could use any quote from Jules here but obviously this one’s appropriate. Granted Tarantino didn’t write it but he was still wise enough to put it in his movie.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.
We had just gotten away from the cops. He just got shot. It was my f*kin’ fault he got shot. He’s a f*kin’ bloody mess – he’s screaming. I swear to god, I thought he was gonna die right then and there. I’m tryin’ to comfort him, tellin’ him not to worry, he’s gonna be okay, I’m gonna take care of him. And he asked me what my name was. I mean, the man was dyin’ in my arms. What the f*ck was I supposed to tell him? “Sorry, I can’t give out that information! It’s against the rules! I don’t trust you enough! Or maybe I should’ve, but I couldn’t!” F*ck you! F*ck Joe!
Simple and to the point.
Revenge is never a straight line. It’s a forest, And like a forest it’s easy to lose your way… To get lost… To forget where you came in.
There are tons of quotes from this movie but I think nothing is more appropriate in terms of capturing the character of Colonel Hanz Landa (I think the film’s best character) than this line….
Oooh, that’s a bingo!
It’s perfect. It shows how humorous and yet destructive he is. It shows his somewhat flawed English. And if I could only show his face when he says this line, you’ll understand where I’m coming from.
This is a very funny joke.
This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, “Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I’m gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop.” The bartender looks. I mean, we’re talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, “Now wait, let me get this strait. You’re tryin’ to tell me you’ll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?” Customer looks up and says, “That’s right.” Bartender says, “Young man, you got a bet.” The guy goes, “Okay, here we go. Here we go.” Pulls out his thing. He’s lookin’ at the glass, man. He’s thinkin’ about the glass. He’s thinkin’ about the glass. Glass. He’s thinkin’ about the glass, glass. Thinkin’ about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he’s pisses all over the place, man. He’s pissin’ on the bar. He pissin’ on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He’s pissing everywhere *except* the fucking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he’s laughing his fuckin’ ass off. He’s $300 richer. He’s like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha!” Piss dripping off his face. “Ha, ha, ha, ha!” He says, “You fucking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta.” Guy goes, “Excuse me just one-one little second.” Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there’s a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, “Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300.” And the bartender’s like, “What the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!” The guy says, “Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you’d be happy.”
Honestly there’s so much to this movie that it’s tough to pick one quote but I kind of enjoyed the narration by Clive Owen and Mickey Rourke so I selected this one. Frank Miller by the way.
Marv: The night’s as hot as hell. It’s a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town – I’m staring at a goddess. She’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more minute wondering how I’ve gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman… the Goddess. Goldie. She says her name is Goldie.
It’s nearly impossible to avoid using Stuntman Mike in this movie….
You know how people say, YOU’RE OKAY IN MY BOOK, or AND IN MY BOOK THAT’S NO GOOD. Well, I actually have… a book. And everybody I ever met goes in this book. And now I’ve met you, and… YOU’RE GOING IN THE BOOK TOO. Unfortunately, now I’m gonna have to file you under chicken… shit.
I could use the whole “where Sicilians came from” bit here but it’s a little too edgy. So here’s something a bit more awesome.
“Don’t condescend me man. I’ll f*king kill you man.”
Admit it, Brad Pitt was amazing in the little role he did have in this flick.
Anything from Samuel L and you’re golden. I happen to like this one.
Now that there is the Tec-9, a crappy spray gun from South Miami. This gun is advertised as the most popular gun in American crime. Do you believe that shit? It actually says that in the little book that comes with it: the most popular gun in American crime. Like they’re actually proud of that shit.
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