Feb 15 2011
This is almost like that super power article that Paul wrote a few months back. Paul had asked you readers if you could have any super hero power what would it be? Well a few of you had emailed us and asked what celebrities we would be and why.
So I decided to choose five celebrities for various obvious and not so obvious reasons. You might be surprised but I think you’ll find the explanations quite valid. Plus I’m a dude so it’s understandable.
Five celebrities I want to be after the jump…..
This is clearly the obvious choice. It’s pretty safe to say that I don’t want to be anyone over the age of 80 except for the Hef. I mean what males on earth, other than gross pornographic fetish actors, get away with marrying a woman 60 years younger? How is this possible? Hell his own daughter is more than twice her age. To go that long in life with that much access to that much tail is just something that can’t be measured.
Criticize me. Make me regret this choice. Say what you will. I don’t care how you feel about it. Put it this way. At the age of 16 how awesome is it to know that you could pretty much get any girl from ages 14-16? Probably 17. I don’t know about you guys but that might be one of the best feelings in the world.
Another odd choice? Perhaps. But let me explain my selection here. If you’re thinking movies, comics, any story that has a villain you guys might understand why I chose Spencer Pratt. In order to defeat any villain you must get inside the mind of one. And since I think Spencer Pratt might be the most evil person on the planet why not spend a day in his shoes to learn more about him?
Must be pretty cool being the single most talented actress in the world. I mean it’s not even fair how much better she is than any other woman on the planet. Just hand her a reading and it’s all over. I think it’d be pretty cool to spend the day as her.
Again, you might be wondering why the hell I would pick someone like this. But think about it. If you’re a guy and you’re the coolest guy’s guy on the planet, wouldn’t it stand to reason that being the most popular girl’s girl on the planet would be awesome too? Like I said, just for one day it’d be pretty awesome to be in Oprah’s shoes. Oh yeah, the money is pretty nice too.
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