Feb 15 2011
Five Celebrities I’d Like to Be For One Day and Why
This is almost like that super power article that Paul wrote a few months back. Paul had asked you readers if you could have any super hero power what would it be? Well a few of you had emailed us and asked what celebrities we would be and why.
So I decided to choose five celebrities for various obvious and not so obvious reasons. You might be surprised but I think you’ll find the explanations quite valid. Plus I’m a dude so it’s understandable.
Five celebrities I want to be after the jump…..
Hugh Hefner
This is clearly the obvious choice. It’s pretty safe to say that I don’t want to be anyone over the age of 80 except for the Hef. I mean what males on earth, other than gross pornographic fetish actors, get away with marrying a woman 60 years younger? How is this possible? Hell his own daughter is more than twice her age. To go that long in life with that much access to that much tail is just something that can’t be measured.
Justin Bieber
Criticize me. Make me regret this choice. Say what you will. I don’t care how you feel about it. Put it this way. At the age of 16 how awesome is it to know that you could pretty much get any girl from ages 14-16? Probably 17. I don’t know about you guys but that might be one of the best feelings in the world.
Spencer Pratt
Another odd choice? Perhaps. But let me explain my selection here. If you’re thinking movies, comics, any story that has a villain you guys might understand why I chose Spencer Pratt. In order to defeat any villain you must get inside the mind of one. And since I think Spencer Pratt might be the most evil person on the planet why not spend a day in his shoes to learn more about him?
Meryl Streep
Must be pretty cool being the single most talented actress in the world. I mean it’s not even fair how much better she is than any other woman on the planet. Just hand her a reading and it’s all over. I think it’d be pretty cool to spend the day as her.
Oprah Winfrey
Again, you might be wondering why the hell I would pick someone like this. But think about it. If you’re a guy and you’re the coolest guy’s guy on the planet, wouldn’t it stand to reason that being the most popular girl’s girl on the planet would be awesome too? Like I said, just for one day it’d be pretty awesome to be in Oprah’s shoes. Oh yeah, the money is pretty nice too.
More Unreal Posts
Very odd choices… but now that I think about it, I pretty much agree with them all. Except instead of Oprah I’d be Minka Kelly and just molest myself all day.
For me, it’d be BILL MURRAY!!! Coolest guy alive!
Seriously, choosing Justin Bieber is just so wrong. If you could choose anybody you want. You choose to be a 15 year old instead of let’s say Brad Pitt, Johny Depp or George Clooney. Who can get anyone above 18. So wrong.
I would go for Richard Branson, he’s just awesome.
Can I be Oprah and deposit money into my account?
The name on the statement would be ‘charity’ and she would just shrug and not even look twice.
Does this this murcielago come in pearl white?
Justin Bieber? What? You want to be able to get any girl from the ages of 15-17? I’m not sure how that can be the best feeling in the world for a 50ish year old man unless he’s, well, I’ll stop there.
Like Drester said, choose Brad Pitt or another ridiculously famous artist who can get any one 18 and above …. not 15. That’s so disturbing and wrong.
Yeah I second Dresters comment…Why are you trying to creep on 14-16 year old girls? I am pretty sure if you want to sing and dance you can pick up Justin Timberlake, who is a helleva lot cooler then that little canadian twerp. And if 14yr old girls is your fancy JT could pick them up too…
I like your reasoning on all but one of your choices – Spencer Pratt. I don’t want/care to know what’s going on inside that douche bags head. In his place I would put a sports star on here, like Cristiano Ronaldo or Derek Jeter or Kobe Bryant. It would be amazing to see what it would be like to have that kind of athletic ability, ass-getting capability, and metric shit-tons of money all at the same time.
Dude, if I were Bieber I’d be that age hence it not being wrong.
In spite of other comments, I’m siding with you on the Bieber choice. I remember being 16/17 years old and just feeling super awkward all the time around the ladies. I would love to go back and have that kind of swagger.
I’d wanna be Blake Lively and play dress up all day long…or maybe Andy Richter because then I’d get to hang out with Conan O’Brien and just react to his jokes!
@Nattyb
If I was a goat, I’d be ok to be all up on female goats. That doesn’t mean I’d want to a be a goat just because they are a promiscuous creature. Goat fucking is wrong. 14-15 year old girls are wrong.
What the ford is wrong with you?
I’d be Christina Hendricks (make a sextape), Shaq (make Kazaam 2), John Cena (sabotage his career), George Clooney (Do whatever) and Steve Martin (jump off a bridge).
how about this?? i would like to be hughe with oprahs money, and with biebers crazy fan popularity
1. Bill fuckin Murray
2. Barack Obama
3. Scarlett Johannson
4. Natalie Portman
5. Scarlett & Natalie at the same time AAAWWWWWW YEEEEEAAH