Nov 16 2010

10 Movies I Fear Will be Remade That Really Shouldn’t

Published by at 9:00 am under Movies

I would say that anyone over the age of 30 (possibly 25) should agree with me here.  What in the hell has happened to Hollywood in the last 5 years?  Are producers and writers so hard up for material that they have to remake any film that was halfway decent back in their hay day?  Can someone explain this to me?

And not only that.  We’re seeing remakes of crap films too.  It’s as if someone firmly believed a shit movie should be good so a remake would do it justice.  I don’t get it.  I really don’t.

As time goes by we’re only going to see more remakes and for Christ’s sake please stop!  Here are ten movies I fear will have a remake…..

Conan the Barbarian


I don’t know man.  I’ve heard rumors of a new Conan happening and apparently Ron Perlman is in the film which I guess is kind of cool but come on.  You can’t remake a movie like that.  I mean yeah, you can but there’s just too much to appreciate about the original.  And something just wouldn’t sit right watching it all 2000 ish.  I don’t know.  Old school Conan fans know what I’m talking about.

The Warriors


Rumor has it that Tony Scott is going to be taking on this project.  For the love of God if there’s a movie not to be remade it’s this one.  It was a 70s movie and should always remain a 70s movie.  Sure I’d go see it but man it would piss me off.   The music, culture, costumes?  Everything about this movie was representative of an era.  You remake it now and it just gets axed.  Please don’t.

Meatballs


Really?  You guys are really going to do this?  I almost don’t even mind a remake just don’t call it Meatballs and you can take credit for making an awesome summer camp movie with boobs in it.  That I think we definitely need just don’t call it Meatballs ok guys?  Although I would like to see Meathead from Meatballs 2 somehow make a comeback.

Short Circuit


A new looking Johnny 5?  I feel like this has potential to be considerably worse that when Godzilla was remade.

The Crow


Wasn’t this already remade?  Please don’t do it again.  If only for the fact that you really shouldn’t resurrect a role that Brandon Lee played.  In the same token it’s why I don’t think The Joker should ever be played again after Heath Ledger’s death.  I mean do you think anyone would dare to remake Enter the Dragon?  They sure as hell better not.  I could see the potential for a remake with The Crow but I just think it’s wrong.

Death Wish


How can you possibly bring this back?  Who the hell would play Charles Bronson?  Steve Buscemi?  Honestly what really skinny looking pretty ugly/weird looking dude could play a New York City vigilante?  Rumor has it Sylvester Stallone has been linked to this role.  Really?  Come on Hollywood.  Please stop.

Monster Squad


“Wolfman’s got nards.”   Please don’t do it Hollywood.  I beg of you.  Do NOT do this.

Neverending Story


2012 is when, if all goes to plan, we’ll be seeing the reboot of The NeverEnding Story. Frank Marshall is attached to produce the film, although there seems little evidence of a screenplay coming together as of yet.  Thank God.  Let’s hope it stays that way.  What does Wolfgang Peterson have to say about this?  What the hell is wrong with you people?

Police Academy


The ONLY reason I would see this is if they brought back Bubba Smith.  Other than that leave the franchise alone.  Please.

Teen Wolf


It just wouldn’t be right.





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20 responses so far

  • Tim

    Police Academy 8 is coming soon! :)
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1332579/

    Also I’m predicting Neverending Story is not far away…

  • El idiota

    The goonies :s

  • Desario

    I can honestly see more Star Wars filsm at some point in the future. Lucas definitely wants to milk that cow dry…again.

  • Alex

    You’re too late about that Teen Wolf one. Except it’s not hollywood that got to it, it’s MTV.

    …sorry to be the bearer of bad news there…

  • BatFan

    Heath Ledger was a good Joker, maybe the best live-action one, but he doesn’t own the character.

    I agree that I would hate to see someone play their version of Heath-Ledger-as-The-Joker but I don’t mind someone playing their version of The-Joker.

    Thats like saying no one should ever play Dracula or Superman again cuz their respective actors died.

  • zomgmouse

    It’s not Death Wish, but they’re remaking another Bronson film, The Mechanic, with Jason Statham.

  • Mat Couthon

    Oh lord, why?….

  • illeaturfamily

    I can definitely see The Neverending story being remade, what with today’s obsession of epicness and fantasy overdosage.

    There’s really only one or two movies per year that I think are truly good efforts these days. Everything else either follows a formula or is over-produced to the point of being laughable.

  • Carmen

    Not only are they remaking The Crow (due out next year); there’s rumours Marky Mark will be cast as Draven.

  • Josh

    Teen Wolf is being remade as an MTV series. They released a trailer yesterday, I believe

  • Bert

    If they do remake Death Wish I’ve got a strange casting suggestion to take over for Bronson – Iggy Pop. Think about it.

  • John

    I agree with Batfan, It would be dumb to never use the Joker again in future incarnations just because one actor did a fantastic job.

    Yes, he did an amazing job but never using Batman’s greatest nemesis because of Ledger would hinder some great stories. That being said I know Nolan wont use the Joker in the newest movie.

    By the way, when I said greatest nemesis I meant in terms of recognition. Non-comic book fans aren’t keen to recognize Ra’s Al Ghul upon first glance.

    I always wonder if people who think the Joker should never be used again are original fans or bandwagon, no offense Natty.

  • Crono

    The new Conan the Barbarian (called Conan. just to make it edgier *sigh*) is already done shooting and will be released in august of next year. Jason Momoa will be Conan. The only other thing of note he’s done is to play Ronon in the spin-off Stargate Atlantis. His whole job was to stand around, look menacing, and sometimes kill things….Holy crap he might actually be perfect for the part.

  • henrikoez

    The new Crow movie’s script will be written by Nick Cave. Well I hate remake movies especially Clash of the Titans. They even gonna make the second movie.

  • chelsea

    when i first saw a teaser for Wall-E, i thought for sure it was a remake of short circuit… or at least a rip-off.

  • Ant2206

    Ehhhhh, I’m not sure if a new version of Conan would technically be a remake. Unless they directly took the exact plot from the first film. Conan’s been around in various forms since the 30s.

    Imagine remaking Ghostbusters.

  • Nick D Pags

    They did remake Death Wish, it’s called The Brave One starring Jodie Foster.

  • Sonny St. James

    In a long enough time span ALL will be remade!

    muh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaah

  • C

    The beautiful thing about Meatballs is that everyone remembers it as an R-rated nudity fest. (My self included) I recently watched it again and viola, no nudity, none. I’m pretty sure I remember nudity in one of the Meatball movies, maybe number 3…..

  • Ben

    The new crow is being written by Nick Cave. The first crow was a fantastic movie but god damm, Nick fucking Cave.

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