Sep 03 2010

How Hard is it to Be Kristen Stewart?

Published by at 1:00 pm under Images,Movies

How unique is Kristen Stewart? Well, average  enough that Jane Plainface here can perfectly mimic her at your local gas station. All she needs to do is get her lip-biting and eye-rolling down, and she’ll be able to sneak onset and start making out with Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner without detection.

Fun fact: Kristen Stewart is totally the boy-ish kid from Panic Room. Go back and watch it again. Err, actually don’t, that movie is horrible. I can’t believe it’s Fincher.

Stewart is a prostitute adopted by James Gandolfini in some new movie, which will surely bring many more opportunities for lip-biting. The only thing I like about this girl is how much she openly despises Twilight and her fans. Props for that.





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14 responses so far

14 Responses to “How Hard is it to Be Kristen Stewart?”

  1. Chrystanion 03 Sep 2010 at 1:28 pm

    This bitch acts like someone is forcing her to act.

    If this is so… Soul sucking and trendy, she could always get a real job.

    O no she rather play vampire dress up and make millions.

    Kristen can suck it!

    No vampire pun intended.

  2. Chrystanion 03 Sep 2010 at 1:29 pm

    O BTW I could probably mimic this face to precision and Im a black woman.

    Chick has no range. That heroin face is played.

  3. bl4ck_sp4deon 03 Sep 2010 at 5:26 pm

    She’s a completely one dimensional actress, she has no emotional range at all.

  4. Ellieon 03 Sep 2010 at 9:08 pm

    I’m so pissed that she’s going to be in Fuckin’ On The Road (It’s not called “Fuckin’ On The Road”, but I’m so pissed that she’s going to be in it, that I’m saying “fuckin’” in fount of it).
    I actually like that book and although I knew that they were going to fuck it up, I was still going to see it, but now…but now that Kristen Fuckin’ Stewart is in it I’m definitely not going to see it.

    Well, I miiiiight see it because she is playing Dean’s bitchy wife, Marylou, because, really, you only see her once every few chapters and then she’s there for a few seconds, nagging at Dean for something or another. And it might just be a bootleg copy.

    First, the Beat Generation had to fight in WWII and now they have to see the novel that defined their generation turned into a movie with a lip-biting and eye-rolling butt-face that’s most likely going to get more screen than her character ever got in the book.

  5. [...] Fonte Filed in Artigos, Diversos No Comments [...]

  6. melon 04 Sep 2010 at 10:36 pm

    Umm ok..all you people have problems..including the person who wrote this awful article..1..the girl doesnt look like Kristen..lol..she wishes and 2 ..you are all bitter harpies and jack offs!

  7. lolaon 04 Sep 2010 at 10:43 pm

    haha, I always find it funny how passionate people get over this chick. I hate twilight, she was good in adventureland though. But I don’t have strong feelings either way. I tend to think most chicks freak out about her cause they want to ride the sparkle stick aka Robert Pattinson but he’s too busy giving free rides to bella swan. And guys have to hate her because well…she’s getting free rides from sparkle stick and they hate him for sparkling and also for making their girlfriends scream out his name by accident while in the middle of sex.

  8. Responceon 05 Sep 2010 at 12:15 pm

    I like Kristen Stewart, I love how she is a socially inept mega-stoner, who blatantly hates everything about being an actress and she is still ridiculously famous. It’s funny.

  9. [...] Fonte | Tradução: Raquel – Equipe Kristen Stewart Brasil [...]

  10. [...] Fte:unreality [...]

  11. philon 06 Sep 2010 at 7:23 pm

    BAHAHAHA when i first saw the photo i thought it was Kristen Stewart at some random store so they quickly blew up a mag cover so she could pose next to it… its like when you randomly see a “star” in walmart… this is awesome

  12. LAOon 07 Sep 2010 at 9:24 am

    Mel is a twelve year old girl.

    Kirsten and Robert both openly hate Twilight and mock the fans in interviews, so they are A-OK in my book.

  13. Chrystanion 07 Sep 2010 at 11:30 am

    @Mel,
    Bitter harpie? What the hell is that? Are you using the queens English on us?

    hahaha…

  14. From Tokyoon 08 Sep 2010 at 9:02 am

    Perfect likeness!

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