Sep 02 2010
It’s been argued by Madison and myself that action stars just aren’t what they used to be. It’s just a different breed these days. I mean are we really to think that guys like Daniel Craig can hold a candle to Arnold? Things are just different these days. Maybe it’s the lack of steroids. Maybe it’s the sleeker more technological films.
But I do miss the days of explosions, stupid lines, and my action heroes being super huge. Call me crazy. Call me a little fruity. Whatever. But it’s not just the big explosive dudes I miss. I miss Bruce Lee. I miss Van Damme. I miss all those guys.
Well. That’s my little rant on that. But what if we could match up some action guys of past eras and have them square off? Here are five I would love to see throw down….
Bruce Lee vs. Jackie Chan
I don’t think anyone on this entire list would really have a chance at Bruce Lee but if there’s a comparable I suppose it has to be Jackie Chan right? I mean word is Bruce Lee basically kicked anyone’s ass who challenged him and of all the action stars in history he was the best fighter in real life, not just movies. Jackie Chan is no joke though. I guess we could put Jet Lee in this mix but Chan is a better fit.
Steven Seagal vs. Chuck Norris
I put these two together because both get made fun of an equal amount. The amount of Chuck Norris memes out there has to be unlimited and it’s impossible not to laugh at a Steve Seagal movie. I think these guys might just stare each other down for at least an hour until someone fell. And of all the people who are tough, these guys seem the least tough. It’s just kind of comical. I think Norris would win but not by much. Seagal is pretty crafty.
Sean Connery vs. Pierce Brosnan
Easily the two best looking Bonds and probably the most similar. The issue with these guys is that I feel that neither can fight at all. I think would be a ton of hair pulling and girlish yelling but it would be damned entertaining to watch these two throw down. I would take Connery simply because he was in The Rock.
Sylvester Stallone vs. Will Smith
I had to find a boxing pair and that was not easy to do. I figured each guy played a champion so why not? Plus it would be an awesome set up for Rocky VII. Word is that real heavyweights were commenting on how Smith could fight a real heavyweight bout if he had to (after his training for Ali). And you’d have to think after all those Rocky’s that Stallone could throw down. I think Stallone would win in a fight very similar to he and Drago in Rocky IV.
Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Dwayne Johnson
I had to find a comparable for Arnold and honestly there isn’t one. If anyone had a chance it was clearly The Rock. But given that he’s now the tooth fairy there is no question here. Arnold would decimate Johnson. Although Johnson played football and was a pro wrestler. The fight might be a hell of a lot closer than one could think. Eh, who knows. It would be pretty sweet though.
Jean Claude Van Damme vs. Christian Bale
I just had to include Van Damme some how.
P.S. No one can compete with Dolph Lundgren hence why he’s not on here. He’s just too awesome.
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