Jun 30 2010
How Twilight is Like Soccer
Hah, this is the first thing I’ve found retweeting in a long while, as the Twilight/soccer analogy is pretty dead on. Though I do like soccer, there is nothing more boring than watching a 0-0 game for 120 minutes.
I’m currently trying to figure out how I can go see Eclipse (since I have to review it) without being creepy. With a girlfriend currently in another state (who already saw the film last night at midnight) and none of my friends willing to bite the bullet, I think I’m just going to have to be uber shady and go by myself into a theater full of tweens and their moms. I’ll look pretty shady riding solo, and even more so since I’ll have my hood up with sunglasses on in case I see someone there I would know. Yeah, I might look like a child abductor, but at least my identity will be secure!
More Unreal Posts
If you’re worried about being creepy & dont care about the asshole facto you should take a pen & writing pad in with you and verbally rip the movie apart, while writing about it so it’s obvious you HAVE to review it.
Things like “UGH! What a terrible plot point!” or “Who THIS glittery bitch supposed to be???” “I cant believe Dakota Fanning’s in a movie where she’s not annoying!” (Then when Dakota Fanning comes on screen “GOD I HATE HER SHE’S SO ANNOYING!”
If you want to get really into it, conduct some pre-twilight interviews: “Are you team Beastiality or Team Necrophilia?” For anyone rooting for the white guy, no matter what their race just tell them “What a racist!” and walk away.
Honestly, I envy the position of comedy you’re currently forced to be apart of.
I doubt Twilight has a “billion” fans.
And as far as the sport is concerned, because they don’t score as much, every goal makes it much sweeter.
Where are the sparkles?
Soccer games last 90 minutes not 120
Not when they go into extra time.
If you do not like soccer, then walk away from it, and watch something else. Don’t waste your time and ours on whining about a sport you don’t care for. There is Hockey, basket ball, football, baseball, tennis, boxing, wrestling, spear-throwing, archery, horse races, dog races, Karate, Judo, All kinds of martial arts, softball, NASCAR, hurling, lacrosse, bike races, marathons. There is a full catalog of Olympics sports that you can flip through. Give us something productive, instead of acting like an old maid.
@ Valenzzio add 2×15 mins overtime
Yoda, it isn’t that simple.
Football forces its way into your life, with the way TV channels rearrange scheduling to include “important” matches or footballing events.. the news includes reports on it, both on the TV and radio.. and yet it is more pervasive still!
There are more channels devoted solely to football than any other sport.
Football fans chant in the streets (before, during and into the early hours), they fill out local pubs (often forcing out the regulars), football marketing is everywhere you turn and no matter whether you like it or not, it has been made part of daily life.
On a recently holiday, there wasn’t a bar, restaurant, hotel or shop that wasn’t showing football or pushing related merchandise.
It’s hard to be accepted socially if you don’t have a team to support, regardless of whether you follow the right team or not..
You can’t walk away from football and ignore it, it won’t let you.
Oh, on another note, you missed loads of other sports (not that it matters)..
This isn’t a whine, just a bunch of facts, which I’ll leave here for you to do with as you wish.
Really bad when you get the time of the game wrong. 90 minutes. Sit down, you have been benched for ignorance.
@ soccerfan
Injury time must be a figment of my imagination then.
Funny. But I highly doubt that Twilight has Billions of fans.
soccer has 90 minutes. the games don’t go into extra time unless it is in a tournament. and if your going to get technical, plus an extra 1-5 minutes for injury time.
That is absurd!
Not only is soccer the most popular sport IN THE WORLD(making it more like HArry Potter)
it is actually one of the more entertaining sports out there.
Would you rather watch a bunch of guys dog pilling eachother to get a stupid ball to the other end of the field(which if you ask me is a little odd….they sure like to touch eachother)
or would you rather watch a sport that involve teamwork, crazy foot skills, and Epic goals.
I think I know which I’d pick.
just a hunch here but, are you American?
cause that would make sense.
Only liking Sports that your country is good at.
ridiculous.
Comparing soccer to Twilight……that is so rude.
How would you like it if someone compared it to Football(the american kind) Not a nice feeling is it?
No. just no. Twilight is nothing like soccer. If you don’t like soccer you’re not forced to watch it, but playing it gives you exercise and agility. Twilight is the obsession and importance of having to have a boyfriend. Also, people do score in soccer, so i dont know where that came from. Also, I would love to point out how everyone is defending soccer and no one is defending twilight
i have faith in the future and present generations.
@SOCCERISMYLIFE
I totally agree with you about american football. it’s just a bunch of large guys in really tight pants getting on top of each other. enough said.