Apr 21 2010
Of all the fantasy options from movies that we humans wish we could do, time travel has got to be near the top of my list. I think being invisible might be amazing just because of the naked girl factor. And yes, I wish I could be like Superman or The Hulk, etc etc. But of all the things that kind of seem like a reality, time travel kicks ass.
But how and when you time travel is also a big factor. Like if I had to swim through a sewer system for 6 days in order to travel back in time or into the future it would definitely piss me off. Or how about in Terminator? Going through lightening and being spit out naked? That’s gotta blow.
So based on movie research here are my five favorite ways to time travel
Having a Delorean – Back to the Future
Clearly the most obvious choice is having a car that when reaching 88mph goes into an insane lightening mode disappearing and leaving fire tracks behind. Man I wish I could get my hands on that flux capacitor. I mean I’d take a Delorean any day of the week but one that could take me back to 1955? Yes please.
Using a Television Remote – Click
I can’t even imagine how cool it would be to be able to put my wife on mute. Or imagine how often it would be to put your boss on pause and then fart in his face. These are just a few of the perks of the cool remote in the movie click. Another benefit? Fast forwarding your life. You get to skip all the boring bullshit and move right into the good stuff (assuming there’s any good stuff).
A Phone Booth – Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
It’s not just the fact that it’s a phone booth that makes this thing so cool. It’s the simplicity of the device. All you have to do is dial a number and you get to be wherever you want at any point in time. There’s one flaw in the movie though. Isn’t that phone book just a tad small for EVERY single moment in time? Still though, it would be badass traveling through the portals of time in that thing.
A Map with Time Portals – Time Bandits
A map that shows you loops holes in different spots in the earth that take you through time? Awesome. I’m convinced this is a real thing and we have yet to discover how to travel through these holes. I’m joking by the way. But it’d be nice to be the only person in the world with access to these holes.
Using a Car, Track, and Stone Wall – Time Cop
I chose this one out of the sheer rush of it all. I mean you’re basically accelerating as fast as possible into a stone wall. At the very moment of impact you disappear and wind up in a different year. The negative? One screw up and you’re toast. Still though, it must be impossible to get bored of that thing.
The Portal of Time in Beastmaster 2
Seriously guys, how often do you get to mention Beastmaster 2 anywhere? I had to get that in there. Plus it’d be pretty sweet to set up a couple of columns, walk through them and wind up in a crappy Los Angeles some time in the 80s.
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