Apr 15 2010
Amazingly, a million dollars just isn’t that much money these days. Heck, being a millionaire in Manhattan barely qualifies you as middle class. There’s a lot of money to be made these days, and whether fortunes are built through oil, real estate, technology, or the stock market, millionaires have become old hat. Being a billionaire is where it’s at.
Naturally, billionaires have been featured as characters in movies for decades. Some are eccentric party boys, while others are malevolent elitists hellbent on world domination. Take a look at 12 of the most memorable billionaires from movies below. As always, if there are any you feel should have been included, let me know in the comments.
Oliver “Daddy” Warbucks – Annie
I honestly can’t remember too much about Annie. I remember Annie herself beating up some boys, and I remember Miss Hannigan being a total lush, and I remember some guy named Rooster with a great mustache. And, of course, I remember that Daddy Warbucks was pimping an indoor swimming pool in his house and had two phone lines. In the 1930s, that was some major, major living – the type only a billionaire could afford. Oh yeah, I also remember Daddy Warbucks’ awesome servant with the turban.
C. Montgomery Burns – The Simpsons Movie
There was a Simpsons movie, so Mr. Burns can make the list. Mr. Burns has always been one of my favorite Simpsons characters, and I love how his wealth is indirectly proportional to his strength. As the owner of Springfield’s nuclear power plant, Monty Burns can buy and sell the entire town 100 times over.
Bruce Wayne – Batman movies
Having inherited Wayne Enterprises from his murdered father, Bruce Wayne has all the money (and thus, technology) he could ever need. But Bruce gives back to Gotham – his Wayne Foundation makes enormous contributions to charity. That coupled with risking his life every evening to fight crime makes Bruce Wayne one of the most generous billionaires on this list.
Tony Stark – Iron Man movies
I feel like Tony Stark is how I’d like to imagine myself if I were a billionaire. Stark makes the most of his money, buying ridiculous cars, bedding ridiculous women, and, of course, developing ridiculous weapons systems. Of course, Stark works his ass off, never for a second taking for granted the company his father left him. He’s very similar to Bruce Wayne, and they both have their demons, but I’d rather party with Stark any day of the week.
S.R. Hadden – Contact
Once upon a time, S.R. Hadden was a hell of an engineer. Although he appears only briefly in Contact, Hadden arguably has a bigger impact on the film’s events than any other character. Why build one alien device when you can build two for double the cost? I’m guessing that Hadden was loosely based on Bill Gates, but he seems to have a lot more charisma than his real life template.
Charles Foster Kane – Citizen Kane
Based on William Randolph Hearst, Charles Kane made his fortune by publishing newspapers. His fall from grace is epic and part of the reason why Citizen Kane is still considered one of the greatest films ever made. Rosebud, y’all.
Bill Gates – South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Gates has the honor of being the only real life billionaire on this list. His appearance in South Park is short-lived (as is he), but it’s certainly memorable.
Auric Goldfinger – Goldfinger
Arguably James Bonds’ greatest foe, Auric Goldfinger is a Latvian absolutely obsessed with gold, so much so that he has his women covered in it. When you’ve got billions, chicks will do anything.
Willy Wonka – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
I’ll be honest – I don’t really have verification that Wonka is a billionaire, but how can he not be? He’s the leading candy manufacturer in the world, he employs exotic slaves (Oompa Loompas) and gets away with it, owns fields of candy and rivers of pure chocolate, and even an elevator that can fly through the sky. I think he’s closer to billions than millions. Plus he rules, so why not?
Akeem Joffer – Coming to America
When I say that Akeem has his own money…yeah, it’s pretty sweet to have your likeness on currency. Akeem gives up his palace, royal penis cleanings, and women who will hop on one foot and bark like dogs just to meet a nice girl in Queens, New York. Of course, it’s just temporary. Daryl’s Soul Glo fortune is mere peanuts compared to Akeem’s fortune. When you think of garbage, think of Akeem.
As an aside, I love Beverly Hills Cop, but Coming to America is Eddie Murphy’s funniest movie.
Les Grossman – Tropic Thunder
Gulfstream. Jet. I’m guessing Les was based on Harvey Weinstein.
Scrooge McDuck – DuckTales: The Movie – Treasure of the Lost Lamp
I think it’s safe to say that when you have so much money you can keep it in a huge vault and swim in it, you’re living comfortably. God forbid Scrooge donate any of it to charity. I mean, why feed the poor when you can literally swim in money? If that’s not the biggest “F you” to the homeless, I don’t know what is.
By the way, I didn’t forget Richie Rich. I just refuse to include him. Sorry.
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