Feb 12 2010

Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Every Love Story in Mass Effect 2

Published by at 1:15 pm under Video Games,Videos

mass-effect211.jpg

Say you’re sad and alone this Valentine’s Day. Well, I have a solution for you! There are plenty of fine men, women and aliens in Mass Effect 2, just waiting to get your groove on with you, and it might be the most depressing Valentine’s Day ever, but at least you can pretend someone loves you! Was that too harsh?

Annnnyways, the main reason I’m posting this is not to satisfy anyone’s CGI fetish, but to show all the romantic options that you probably missed while playing the game. I hooked up with Tali and Miranda in my first playthrough, and was shot down by Jack during my female Renegade go-round. You’re telling me that chick doesn’t go both ways? You’ve gotta be kidding me.

Some of these I didn’t even know were options, and some feature stuff I missed that I didn’t even know was possible. A strip dance from Yeoman Chambers? Are you kidding? Check them all out below.

Male Shepard

Jack:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MdD4g2-sv0&feature=player_embedded

I thought this one would be a little more explicit, since she’s, you know, a tattooed nympho, but Bioware has kind of chickened out this time around after all this shit they took last time for showing bare ass for two seconds in the original game.

Miranda:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xijbArxskqc&feature=player_embedded

Miranda was the much-too-obvious love option in the game, but her scene is probably the most provocative. Space cleavage!

Tali:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFC6GBD5ltw&feature=player_embedded

This was kind of hilarious, and also very cute. I love Tali, and I’m glad she was an option in this game, and she’s who I’m sticking with until the end of the series. Probably.

Kelly:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ja3EjKOqTU&feature=player_embedded

Man, all I got was a quick cut saying we had dinner and “stayed up late.” How did you get all these options?

Morinth:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isARefv1Nvo&feature=player_embedded

WORST. HOOKUP. EVER.

Female Shepard

Jacob Taylor:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3wO4IOJc9U&feature=player_embedded

Once you go bl…nevermind. Look at those sexy space abs!

Thane/Garrus:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2b1P-N1E2E

I did not see these two coming, though granted, I didn’t talk to either my entire female playthrough. The Garrus one is kind of funny, but the Thane one is really sad and touching. Aw, Mass Effect, you get me every time!

In closing, I think it’s good the game expanded romantic options outside of two people for either gender. However, doesn’t a romance with a Quarian, Drell or Turian seem kind of pointless? Humans and humans, and humans and Asari can mate, but I haven’t seen any cross-race characters running around in the game yet, something I believe we would have run across if it was possible. Is being attracted to other races in Mass Effect sort of like being gay? You can love them but not have biological kids together? I guess that’s why they have space adoption.

Bonus! 

Safe Sex talk with the Love Doctor Mordin

About Tali:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1yp78vjKao&feature=player_embedded

About Thane: 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdbVu3xwx9U&feature=player_embedded

I love Mordin, as he’s one of the funniest video game characters I’ve ever come across.

Thanks to Kotaku for finding most of these.





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5 responses so far

  • Captain Qwert Jr

    Still bitterly disappointed with the absence of a little blue daughter.

  • Aycee

    In ME1 I went with Liara but after meeting again in Illum and getting the cold shoulder I find solace in Miranda’s arms. Also according to the Mass Effect wiki Kelly goes both ways.

  • Laudell

    How do you get Jack to visit you in your quarters(I thought you had to pursue her)?

  • Beth

    I was so pissed at first in ME2. I had a good relationship with Kaidan in ME1 and then when you meet him he is all happy at first but then he pulls the whole… oh I loved you, didn’t you love me?… why are you working for Cerberus? Bullcrap. I mean realistically, he didn’t trust her/love her enough to even talk to her about why she was working for Cerberus (just to use them for their ship and funds to achieve her mission) and that was dissapointing for my character. Even after he wrote the letter, she was going to forgive him then she fell in love with Thane, a much better person worthy of my commander Shepard’s love.

  • Warren

    Mordin’s sex talk about Miranda is awesome too. I also liked the one he gave me when I had my female Shepard with no romantic interest.

    I actually really liked the scene that played right before the suicide mission in my second play through when I had no romantic interest. It was just Shepard alone in her quarters looking longingly at the photo of Liara on her desk. It was very well done and made me wonder what is going to come of the romance options in ME3.

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