Aug 28 2009

The Final Countdown: Go Away Rob Zombie, Conan’s Cat Puppies and Horror Movie Posters

Published by at 3:00 pm under Best of the Web

rob-zombie.jpg

Why am I featuring this as our lead link for the weekend instead of some hot actress? Because I hate Rob Zombie. I just watched House of 1000 Corpses AND The Devils Rejects this week, and they just might be the two worst horror movies I’ve ever seen. And if I go see Halloween II this weekend? I might just die of gore/stupidity overload.

Anyways, go here if you also think Rob Zombie should go away.

The Countdown:

Puppies dressed as cats on Conan – [Warming Glow]

The 25 creepiest horror movie posters – [Gunaxin]

15 of the weirdest magazines still in publication – [Asylum]

The best bartender in the world – [Manofest]

How not to keep your PC cool – [DJMick]

Star Wars 90210 – [Atom]

Rooming with a town hall protester – [Throwkickpunch]

10 signs you might be a douche – [COED]





More Unreal Posts


9 responses so far

  • SirEdward

    Rob Zombie as a musician: Eh, not too bad, not either. His work with White Zombie was way better.

    Rob Zombie as a performer: Take his “Not bad” music and put it on a live stage and it suddenly becomes “Amazing music”. I saw him at Ozzfest 2005 and was left speechless from his performance.

    Rob Zombie as a visual artist: I love his style. Bright acrylics and dark imagery work so well together. The tripping scene in Beavis & Butthead Do America is one of my all time favorite movie scenes, even if it makes me nauseous.

    But..

    Rob Zombie as a film maker: House of a 1000 Corpses was.. eh.. Just at, maybe slightly below, average. For what it was it was acceptable. A pastiche of 70s horror. Alright, I can dig it, kinda. I don’t think I’ll ever watch it again though. The Devil’s Rejects was completely unnecessary though. It’s like the crew was said to themselves “Hey guys, let’s make this as gut wrenching and gratuitous as possible. Plot is second place to people wearing skin masks.” The first Halloween remake was so bad I’m skipping on the second. Yeah, seeing Myers as a child was kinda cool, but did it really need to be done? No. The movie took what made the first one so great and lost it. As I’ve said before, the implied violence is way worse than the seen. Show a house, focus on the window. Have sounds of movement and struggle from behind the window. Screams of pain. Cut to next scene but never actually show what happened inside that house but have characters talk about how “awful” it was. That’s scary stuff.

    Or you could just have a kid slit his step dad’s throat and make sure to zoom and focus on the blade cutting the skin. Yeah that works too. Real “scary” stuff, gore. /sarcasm.

  • Sarcastos

    Hey SirEdward, its a comments section. not a resume for Douche Review Quarterly.

  • SirEdward

    Hey Sarcastos.

    Go fuck yourself.

  • http://www.Shoutwire.com SargentMac

    Hey BOTH of you, pick a fight in real life and maybe we won’t have to watch you “fight” online.

  • IcemanD

    You pump Project Runway and then you trash Rob Zombie.

    It’s official…we have differant tastes…

    I don’t think Rob Zombie is any kind of genius film maker but I do like his movies (especially House of 1000 Corpses).

  • Madison

    I liked some of Rob Zombie’s music when I was lifting weights real heavy, but that’s about it. He’s no John Carpenter or Wes Craven, though, that’s for sure.

  • http://paul@unrealitymag.com Paul Tassi

    @IcemanD

    Different tastes indeed. House of 1000 Corpses is without a doubt the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen. It’s absolutely EVERYthing that’s wrong with the genre these days and his remake of Halloween is another prime example. He took a mostly bloodless but tense and suspenseful masterpiece and turned into into a mindless, gory, idiotic hackfest.

    To each their own I suppose.

  • IcemanD

    @ Paul:
    I absolutely agree that Rob Zombie is not at all capturing the feeling or suspense of the original Halloween movies. In fact, like most of us, I’m getting real sick of all the remakes.

    I like House of 1000 Corpses for the exact reasons you listed. It’s just an over the top fun hackfest of a horror movie. Is it one of the greats? Nope…not at all. But fun none the less.

  • http://paul@unrealitymag.com Paul Tassi

    For my mindless hackfests, I turn to Eli Roth. He’s sort of an idiot as well, but he’s got a fairly decent grasp on story and character development to go along with the gore. The non-torture part of Hostel is actually very well done.

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