Jul 21 2009
As demonstrated by this handy chart, the clear purpose of every Sims game is in fact, to kill all your Sims. It may sound sadistic and cruel, but I guess that’s why video games were invented, so we don’t do this kind of thing in real life.
And by “this kind of thing” I mean build a room made entirely of fireplaces or kill our paperboys with swords. Not content with being merely tragic, these 10 Sim deaths are truly bizarre.
1) The Oven
I’m passing on the opportunity to make a witty comment here.
2) The Evil Car
I thought this would be about a car hitting someone, but in fact, it’s far more sinister, it’s about a car that can KILL WITH ITS MIND.
The funny part isn’t that she froze, it’s why. Yeah, those plants really need water there. She earned this death for sure.
4) Drowning in Pee
Why yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.
5) The Joker’s Baby Barbecue
No f***ing way. No way can you actually do this in a Sims game. Can someone tell me I’m right here? For the love of all mankind?
Really? This can happen? I can imagine spending dozens hours building up your Sim life and all of a sudden BAM! Sim Zeus fries your ass with a lightning bolt.
Only in Sim World is this even possible.
8 ) Paperboy Duel
How dare you throw my paper in my bushes. En guarde!
9) How to Kill A Burgler
Have you and your buddies all hold M-16s, then tell a joke and make him laugh himself to death?
10) Starvation Box
The ever tragic “Sim in a Box” experiment for sadistic ten year old boys.
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