Just when you don’t think things can get much worse on the Hollywood remake front, we receive this horrible news:

Universal has won a four-studio bidding war to win the film rights to the classic Atari video game Asteroids. Newcomer Matthew Lopez, who came out of Disney’s writing program and did work on Bedtime Stories, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and Race to Witch Mountain, has been hired to write the screen adaptation.

For those of you who don’t remember, the game involved the player controlling a triangular space ship in an asteroid field, shooting and destroying rock and the occasional alien spaceship to avoid collision.

So basically how do we dissect this? Are we going to get some kind of young Star Trek type actor sitting in a ship by himself doing all kinds of spins from one spot yelling at Asteroids?

Then he’ll occasionally go really fast in a diagonal path shooting him off the screen entirely and then all of a sudden coming back on the other side of the screen?

Will we have actors play the asteroids? What the hell is going on here?

Quote via Slashfilm