Jun 12 2009

So Who the Hell Do You Think You Are, Megan Fox?

Published by at 10:00 am under Columns,Movies

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Listen Megan Fox, it’s about time that someone put you in your damn place. I’ve been reading story after story about how every movie studio is attempting to hand you franchises on a silver platter, and how in return you usually end up making fun of them or passing on the project almost instantly.

But really, who are you, and what give you right to laugh away these types of projects? That’s what I’m aiming to find out in this article.

The way I see it, there are two ways of looking at Megan Fox as an actress (not as a sexual object, although that’s the most common way of looking at her by far). She’s either a rising young star who after one big success is carefully choosing her next projects as to not typecast her or stall her burgeoning career. Or, option B, she’s drooled over in every major news and internet media outlet twenty four hours a day, sits on the top of every Hot 100 list ever made, and therefore thinks she’s above “pitiful” projects like Wonder Woman and Tomb Raider despite only having one real major role to her credit.

Which option do you lean towards?

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Go acting!

The facts are these, Megan Fox is a largely unproven actress. In her earlier teen years she did some TV acting on a Swedish show called Ocean Ave, did a guest spot or two on What I Like About You and Two and a Half Men, had a supporting role in Lindsay Lohan’s Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, then moved to Hope and Faith on USA, playing neither Hope or Faith.

Her big break, and most notable role to date was in the first Transformers movie, where her abs (and allegedly acting) impressed Michael Bay enough to land her the lead opposite Shia LeBeouf. At the time, the movie was a big gamble as nobody knew how a toy franchise turned into two hundred million dollar blockbuster with an unknown cast would fare. Fortunately for her, the film was a massive hit, and “Megan Fox” and “insanely hot” became synonyms almost immediately.

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But I challenge you to name two lines she actually said in the movie.

The only time we’ve seen her onscreen since then has been in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, where she played a stuck-up, seductive, up-and-coming actress opposite Simon Pegg. Not exactly a stretch of the imagination there.

Now that her star has risen, her forthcoming projects include Jennifer’s Body, where she plays a demon possessed cheerleader who goes on a killing spree (no it’s not a Cinemax after dark special), Transformers 2, where she’ll presumably do a lot more crying, lip-pursing and bending over, and finally Jonah Hex, probably her most interesting project yet, but all anyone seems interested in is how tightly her corsets fit in the leaked shots from the set.

So really, she only has three actual film roles under her belt (one being a supporting character, another essentially playing herself). Do you think she’s earned the title of being Hollywood’s new “it” girl? Well, it seems she certainly does.

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She has a damn Marilyn Monroe for tattoo for crying out loud.

Fox was offered the role of Wonder Woman, in an effort to get one of the few remaining superhero film franchises off the ground. Her response?

“Wonder Woman is a lame superhero… She flies around in her invisible jet and her weaponry is a lasso that makes you tell the truth. I just don’t get it. Somebody has a big challenge on their hands whoever takes that role but I don’t want to do it.”

Yeah I mean, look at Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Tobey McGuire and Robert Downey Jr. It’s not like playing a superhero ever did anything to up their credibility as actors right?

Superheroes aren’t her bag then, and it seems video games aren’t either, as she also recently passed on playing a young Lara Croft in a Tomb Raider reboot. There’s no quote there, but if there was I’m sure it would be something like “Ew, a video game movie? As if I don’t already have enough nerds masturbating to me. What kind of real actress would take a role like that?” And the answer to that would of course be…Angelina Jolie.

Now the latest rumor is that Fox is being asked to play Buffy in the Joss Whedonless Buffy the Vampire movie remake. If trending continues, she’ll turn this one down as well, presumably due to a bias against vampires, or Whedon nerds, or dying her hair blonde.

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“Vampires are gross!”

All of these movies would be huge franchises, and the fact that Fox is in them alone would make at least the debut film of each a huge success, no matter its quality. So why is she turning the roles down? It could be that she’s trying to avoid being typecast as I said earlier, and she may have a very specific mindset about where she wants her career to go, but I have another theory.

She’s scared.

Yeah, that’s right, the sexiest woman on the planet is just a little bit insecure. Why? What do all these proposed roles have in common that her other roles she’s actually signed on for don’t? In them, she’s the star, and will have to carry a huge iconic name on her back without disappointing fans and critics alike.

In all her other roles to date and carrying on into the near future, she’s been a supporting character. Usually a love interest whose primary job is to look hot, which as we all know, she excels at. Sure in Jennifer’s Body, she may be the lead, but running around half naked stabbing cheerleaders isn’t exactly going to be the dramatic challenge of the century.

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“Yeah, just give me a knife and I’ll be good to start shooting.”

I think she’s a little scared she can’t do it. That taking on a legendary mantle like Wonder Woman, Lara Croft or Buffy might be too much for her. She can say Wonder Woman is lame all she wants, but she said herself that ”Somebody has a big challenge on their hands whoever takes that role but I don’t want to do it.”

And that’s the problem, I don’t think she wants to be challenged. For as long as she can slide on her looks and inescapable sex appeal, that’s what she wants to do. I feel like this is the problem with many of the best looking actresses in Hollywood today (*cough* Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel) and they just stay in their comfort zone, long after we tire of them in the same “sexy” roles. It’s the less sexy ones (Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Jodie Foster) who try to keep expanding themselves as actresses, although sometimes, you get someone who’s a combination of both (Amy Adams, Keira Knightley, Rachel McAdams).

Can Fox be a truly great actress? Sure, it’s definitely possible, but right now it’s too early to tell, and until she starts taking some real risks, we’ll never know. She may be bursting with confidence as a sex icon, but until she gets the same amount of balls as an actress, she’s already typecast herself more than a magic lasso ever could.

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Take two seconds and think about it. 

Note: If you’re going to mention her starring in Fathom, I’m still not entirely convinced that project exists.





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23 responses so far

  • IcemanD

    Well said Paul. I just don’t understand the fuss over this girl. She’s no better looking than a host of other women and as you stated has yet to prove she can act.

  • Dorkus Malorkus

    I have to say that Megan Fox just annoys me. I have been trying to pinpoint exactly why. These sort of media quotes you mentioned definitely don’t help, and I wouldn’t have liked “Transformers” much even if she hadn’t been in it, but eventually I think I figured it out…in every single picture of her I have ever seen (and in “Transformers” and “How to Lose Friends”), she never closes her damn mouth. It’s like somewhere along the way someone told her that “slightly open mouth=sexy,” and ever since then she’s had her mouth open all the time. I guess this is probably a stupid reason to dislike someone, but there it is. I’ve noticed that Jessica Simpson, and probably many other one-note actresses, suffer from a similar affliction.

  • Matt

    Boo-freaking-hoo, the woman thinks Wonder Woman is lame. That’s her perogative, get over it.

  • Jim

    The butthurt in this blog is intense.

  • Friar Tony

    I love Boxxy. She is so cute (sigh)

  • David

    I agree completely. She seems to be really stuck up, and it does seem like she is afraid to take challenging roles. People will dismiss this idea solely because she’s hot.

  • chelsea

    who cares? that’s what she gets to do for looking like that. why would you actually work when you’re raking in millions with numerous spreads in magazines? i would do the same thing if i looked like that and would turn down shit left and right.

    being hot = ultimate power

  • QQMOAR

    LOL butthurt much?
    Wonder Woman IS a lame superhero and the other Tomb Raider movies sucked. Buffy was decent, but the new movie won’t have any connection to the old series and might very well turn out to be crap as well.

  • Shade47

    I agree 100%
    She has done essentially nothing, and she’s become a huge celebrity for it.

    I grow tired of seeing article after article pop up about Megan Fox.
    Lets have some more headlines about people how have actually done something, and not just because they’re hot.

  • peterscoop

    well, megan fox is very beautiful, and she acted great in transformers, she was much more then guy-bait, cause i think michael bay wanted an eye candy but needed one that will be special, and that is megan fox, you can see her good acting when for example there is the scene when bumblebee first talks to them via radio channels after the fight with the squad car decepticon, when she asks him “so are you like, an alien or something?” look at her mimics and tell me that isnt great acting, also i think wonderwoman is very sexy and looks the same as megan fox, except megan has no boobs, and wonder woman has big comic book style silicon ones, wonderwowan is a very dull superhero that that movie would only be made to make money, it could flop also like cat woman or elektra, cause the biggest audience is for the male superheroes. also spider man series sucked, and tobey maguire can kiss my wire. if you read the comics and liked them, youll agree. good night, and good bye.

  • Riddick

    Megan Fox is a royal class moron. Luckily for her there are some very rich old men in Hollywood who would like to fuck her silly and wouldn’t mind casting her in a project or two. This would almost be amusing, if there wouldn’t be some hockey-types, mindless wankers, who think BEER and MEGAN FOX’s ASS are the best thing that happened to Earth.

  • espensor

    You know what really grinds my gears? This Megan Fox. Eh? Megan Fox with all those little outfits, jumping around onstage, half naked with your little outfits, you know? You’re up there jumping around, and I’m just sitting here with my beer…so, you know, what am I supposed to do. What do you want? Are we going to go out? What are you…is that what you’re trying to…is that what you want, leaping around there, throwing those things all up, over there in my face? Eh? What do you want Megan? TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.

  • http://shat.com Shat

    So you think Wonderwoman would make a good movie? pah! Anyone who takes that role is destined for an onslaught of shitty reviews. Really doesnt compare to batman spiderman or ironman!?!!?!?
    I think the choices shes made on movie roles has been good. Wonderwoman’s THE shittest superhero, Buffy would just be ok and Tomb Raiders already been round the block a few times. As a young actress whos suddenly shot to fame with the Transformers movie, the next few roles she takes are critical in retaining her spot in the limelight and defining her as an actor.. and not just a pin-up. She wouldn’t exactly be homeless after a shit movie as shes still amazingly hot, but she certainly wouldn’t be where she is now and it’d take something amazing to get that back.

  • ryan

    I think she’s a terrible actress, but I also think that Wonder Woman is fucking gay and that video game movies are shit. But then again, Transformers was a steaming pile of ass and nobody seemed to notice, so I don’t see what she’s so worried about.

  • salena

    Ugh..Just reading about this article annoys me because it has this little bitch Megan Fox in it. She gets too much attention for the talent she DOES NOT HAVE, and the fact that she loves to show her every little body part in every movie she does. Like honestly, look how slutty those pictures are, she looks like a little used up porno star, and the only reason everyone drools over her is for the lack of clothing, fake tits and lips, and the fact that she’s borderline anorexia and looks like Angelina Jolie [ or tries to ] She will never be her, especially considering that she gets roles based off of looks, which will only get her so far. She’s sexy, yeah, but she knows she’s sexy and uses her “sexiness” to belittle people in her mind, leading her to think she’s the “omega” in hollywood babes. Let her think she’s hot shit, but eventually she’ll lose the attention, and the rest of us MODEST sexy women can go back to our lives knowing that a wannabe vixen has vanished from most people’s minds and can stop flipping over her loose-pussied self. Thank you.

  • L

    Excuse me, but how did Wonder Woman become a “lame” and “shitty” superhero? Sounds like somebody’s got a dick up thier ass about powerful women. Mommy baked pies, barefoot and pregnant, all day when you were growing up? How about all you get a sack and a rod to match it.

  • Madison

    @ L

    What the hell is the matter with you? Wonder Woman is lame, but it’s got nothing to do with her being a woman. I think Jean Grey is awesome, for example.

    Settle down and respond instead of reacting. Jeez.

  • Lulu

    THANK YOU!!! God! I am so sick and tiered of trying to explain this to people! I make the same exact arguments and people think I’m jealous… I’m glad someone knows what I’m talking about. Name one movie she had to actually act in. There isn’t any.

    She’s just a talentless conceded broad. She may be good looking (although I gotta say, I think something about her looks tranny-ish), but she’s not the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. There’s better looking girls out there that can actually act… ahem Angelina Jolie.

  • Kamina

    Just who the hell do you think I am!?

  • Koichi Ito

    Brook Shield, Angelina Jolie, and Megan Fox has in common? They are the desendents of King Henry 4th of France.

  • Thanks for wasting my time

    You guys should get some friends. That way you don’t spend all day talking about people you don’t know at all. I’m not saying she’s a good actor or any of that but Jesus Christ you’d think you would have some thing better to do than attempt to rag on someone that you probably don’t even know how old they are.

  • georg g

    So,you are upset because she turned down Wonder Woman?Really? And l since you won’t shee her on that W.W outfit any time soon you decide to talk bad about her,but if she +
    had sign up for the proyect ,will that make her the best actrees in Hollywood?shit, if i was a rich Hollywood producer,you will see only hot girls on my movies..bending over and all..you want to know a good actress? Emma Stone…

  • jake

    For the life of me I can’t figure out why people like her. I realize a percentage of people think she is physically attractive, but she doesn’t do it for me. I could never find a stuck up bitch attractive in any capacity. After taking one look at her, from the lines on her face and expression I thought to myself, “looks like a stuck up ugly bitch” and I was right. I don’t even understand how you could want to use someone like that for sex. What I would enjoy doing with her is giving her plastic surgery to make her hideously ugly outside to match the inside, throwing her in a vat of sewage, or both.

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