May 28 2009
6 Things That Absolutely Suck at the Movie Theater

If I’m now paying 12 bucks just to go see a movie and well over 20 bucks for the whole experience then I’d like to think I can expect good things at a movie theater. Sure there’s no way to tell if the movie will be good or not until it’s been viewed, however there are other things clearly in our control.
It’s not exactly difficult to behave yourself at a movie theater is it? Apparently it is. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are a whole host of things that could go wrong while at the theater.
Here are six that really piss me off
The Cell Phone That Goes Off
Honestly, with all the crap we see during the previews that mention how NOT to have your cell phone on during the movie? How in the world is this still going on in theaters? Not only that, whenever the damn thing rings at least three times it’s usually cause for murder. No question. Giant sign: TURN CELL PHONES OFF. Cell phone still rings. How? How?
The Tall Person
This is just the luck of the draw I guess. I’m 6′0 tall so I doubt that I’ve caused trouble for those behind me. And I have to say theaters have made advancements in seating. However, if someone is 6′5 or taller you are absolutely screwed. And if you’re in a crowded theater, God help you. Ever watch an entire movie with your head tilted? Man that blows.
The Talker or Laugher

I didn’t realize how many people thought that a movie theater was their own personal living room. Not only that, sometimes you get the people that actually speak just to piss other people off. The worst thing is when you get a group of people that are either drunk or stoned.
Having to go to the bathroom

This sucks. Period. It just sucks. It’s happened to me once or twice where I just couldn’t hold it in. God forbid you have to take a dump. Thank God that’s never happened to me before.
The No Seat Situation

You know what that means. It means you’re sitting in the front which is about the worst possible thing that could happen to you at the theater other than being vomited on, the theater collapsing on your head, or having exploding diarrhea.
The Seat Saving Debacle

Well there are two things here. One. You either have to save a seat and have to deal with people getting annoyed at you or two. You’re the one trying to get a seat and have to ask people to move. If it weren’t for people simply being assholes, none of this would even be an issue.
We’ll see you….AT the movies.
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What is it with you USAders and saving seats at the theatre? Just number the damn seats like civilized people.
How about the practice of taking babies and/or toddlers in to daytime showings? Superman Returns and Transformers were ruined for me due to screaming small people.
[…] with all the crap we see during the previews that mention how NOT to have your cell phone on during the movie? How in the world is this still going on in theaters? Not only that, […]
At the last movie I went to (Terminator Salvation) some fat lady yelled at me for talking… Halfway through the credits. I let the major actors roll by, the credits reached “key grip” and I started to talk… And this fat woman turns around and tells me to shut the fuck up. When I told her to calm down, her redneck boyfriend started climbing over his chair at me. I thought I was going to get punched in the face.
Thoughts on this?
how did you not add children, screaming babies or the “texters”…. i think if the person in front of you keeps pulling out their phone, the light is almost as bad as if they were talking on it. horrible.
when i went to see X-Men: Wolverine Origins…. it was opening weekend, 9:30 on a Saturday night, and the couple behind me brought their baby and their toddler!
about an hour into the movie, the baby just started screaming… and it didn’t stop. the mom was holding it and not doing anything. she was at the very back of the theatre and not even near an exit. i turned around and just said “dude, come on!”. they ended up leaving but not before telling me that i was being RUDE! that’s the worst. if you can’t find a fucking babysitter for 2 hours, you don’t get to go out! that’s what you get, having children was your choice, don’t ruin my movie experience with it!
[…] is it? Apparently it is. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are a whole host of things that could go wrong while at the theater. No TweetBacks yet. (Be the first to Tweet this post) Similar […]
[…] It’s not exactly difficult to behave yourself at a movie theater is it? Apparently it is. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are a whole host of things that could go wrong while at the theater. […]
[…] It’s not exactly difficult to behave yourself at a movie theater is it? Apparently it is. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are a whole host of things that could go wrong while at the theater. […]
I almost never go to the movies anymore for all of the reasons you’ve mentioned and a few more. If I go, I usually attend an early matinee the second week of release. The killer for me is when you are in a practically empty theater and some winner has to sit directly in front of you or directly behind you when 150 other seats are available. I just wait, put it on the projector at home, and turn the ringer off. Heaven.