May 19 2009

The 10 Most Powerful Telekinetics in Movie History

Published by at 10:00 am under Lists,Movies

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In my estimation, the ability to move things with the mind is by far the coolest superpower (suck it flying!). The possibilities are practically endless for the types of things you could do, and the issue has been covered in film many times, although not as many as you’d think.

I’m sure I’m missing a few here and there, but I think I’ve gotten most of the major movie telekinetics here. I’ve ranked them in order of least powerful to most, from those who can move pencils to those who can obliterate cities.

Side note: Is telekinetic the proper term for one who has the power of telekinesis? I didn’t think “psychic” or “telepath” was appropriate, but let me know.

10) George Malley (Phenomenon)

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This is the most realistic depiction of what it would be like if someone actually got telekinesis in real life, but it’s also the mildest. George’s powers only extended to twirling glasses around or making pens roll. At his peak he made a mirror shatter.

George’s powers were better served creating alternative energy sources (yeah, even back in the nineties) and predicting earthquakes. Telekinesis was just a side effect of his massive intelligence (and brain tumor, spoilers!).

9) Matilda (Matilda)

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Out of all of these choices, I think Matilda may be my favorite telekinetic on the list. She uses the power the way a kid actually would, helping out her friends and screwing over her mean parents and teachers. Sure she’s not going to level any cities, but convincing her evil headmistress that her house is haunted by making a painting of her dead relative attack her is pretty hilarious.

8 ) Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins)

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Many will argue with me that Mary Poppins is a witch, and not a telekinetic, but you’re wrong. She has powers the same as everyone else on this list, and just because this movie is crazy old, doesn’t mean it’s not hip with the psychic superpowers of the present.

Normally she only uses her powers to do things like clean rooms and reprimand children, but the fact that she can use the ability to make herself fly propels her above the last two entrants on the list.

7) Alice (Resident Evil Apocalypse)

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I was never really clear on when exactly Alice got telekinetic powers. I think it was the third movie, but I’m not positive. In any case, she does the typical “throw things around” maneuver that all telekinetics know and love, and as I recall she has some sort of psychic mind blast as well.

Details are fuzzy here so let me know if I’m getting this wrong, but I don’t think she uses her powers that extensively, making her sort of lame.

6) Nick (Push)

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Now we’re really getting into the “combat telekinetics” who use their powers less for amusement and more for kicking ass. Unfortunately, Nick’s powers in mediocre superhero thriller Push aren’t exactly the stuff of legend.

He’s got a neat force push, the ability to hover guns above his head and aim them poorly, and some kinetic punches and elbows that look pretty neat, but he’s still on the shallow end of the power scale.

5) Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back)

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Yes, shut up. The Force is totally telekinesis. That being said, I had to think of the most powerful Jedi we’ve seen onscreen. If we were expanding into video games it would probably be Whats-His-Face Starkiller from The Force Unleashed, who can capsize entire Star Destroyers with his mind, but I’m sticking to the movies.

I’m picking Yoda here, because I think he has a better overall understanding of the Force than the Emperor and Vader even with their lighting and choking. The best demonstration of his power would have to be his lifting of Luke’s X-Wing out of the swamp, but I bet he could do way more if he wanted to.

4) Mewtwo (Pokemon: The First Movie)

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Yeah, that’s right, Pokemon mother****ers. I’m going there. Mewtwo is a genetically engineering mammal with a hefty psychic ability. He can obliterate Team Rocket’s headquarters without batting an eyelash and has a mean psychic beam that will blow your head clean off. Well, if this wasn’t a G-rated cartoon that is.

3) Carrie (Carrie)

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For being a scared little high school girl for most of the movie, Carrie is one of the most powerful figures on this list. Let’s see, she literally trapped her classmates in a burning gym, cooking them all as revenge for getting a blood bucket dumped on her, she stopped her mom’s heart with her mind and then as a grand finale, sucked her entire house into hell. Not bad.

2) Jean Grey/Phoenix (X-Men: The Last Stand)

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In the third X-Men movie, Jean Grey was so ridiculously overpowered as Phoenix that you had to wonder why any of the other mutants even bothered showing up. She had graduated from telekinetically helping Cyclops skeet shoot clay pigeons to literally turning him into ash. She also ate up Professor X and a whole host of other mutants, cars and buildings in the grand finale, before Wolverine gutted her. Really, that’s all it took?

1) Akira (Akira)

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When I first sat down to write this list, I thought for sure that Phoenix would be number one. Then I remembered Akira.

His psychic powers are so massive, he’s considered a weapon of mass destruction and he singlehandedly levels the entire city of Tokyo in the film, sparking World War III. Seeing that there is absolutely nothing else that can compete with that, so therefore I crown Akira the king of all telekinetics in the history of ever.





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20 responses so far

  • Pingback: The May 19 Hot Link Orgy | Blog of Hilarity

  • Aaron Griffin

    Man, screw your stupid auto-playing flash ads. You think that’s useful? Ugh. You’re the reason people use AdBlock.

    Site added to my local blacklist of craptacular sites that don’t care about their user base.

  • http://www.zonalibre.org/blog/owned Palace

    They’re not auto-played, I turn them on with my telekinetic powers.

  • Korinthian

    Although not from a movie, that girl in “Elfen Lied” should get a honorable mention for her badassery.

  • http://www.Shoutwire.com SargentMac

    I gotta agree with Aaron here. Not quite in such a sad, useless manner. I actually enjoy the site very much, but those ads are pissing me off. When a quarter of the material on your front page consists of movie trailers or other random web crap, you can’t just keep your computer on mute. Hell, lastnight I didn’t have my computer on mute and I was laying in bed next to my wife at 5AM. I hit my bookmark for the site, only for my speakers to start blasting and my wife to get pissed (pregnancy blows, unfortunately she doesn’t anymore).

    Get the ads removed. AT THE LEAST, get them muted. If we give a shit about the product, we can unmute the specific ad if we want.

  • Gray

    I never fully understood Akira. Wasn’t it Tetsuo who became the big powerful telekinetic at the end? I thought Akira was dead. Or something.
    Maybe i should watch it stoned; might make sense, then.

  • hairy_testicles

    what about Zapped?

  • http://planet-geek.com/ dbs

    Wait a sec. Jean Grey could turn folks to ash. Magneto LIFTED UP THE ENTIRE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE AND MOVED IT.

    I think magneto wins here.

  • Korinthian

    dbs: I don’t think telemagnetic (is that a word?) counts.

  • Panzy

    First
    Alice (Resident Evil) actually got her powers at the end of the second movie, making the guard bleed from his eyes.

    Second
    Jean Grey ripped people/cars/small islands apart at the molecular level, that beats picking up a bridge any day.

    Third
    Akira was the cause of the explosion, Tokyo was destroyed that leads to the start of World War III.
    Kaneda is the kid on the poster holding the gun.
    Tetsuo is the gifted child who bonded with what was left of Akira and turned in to a new universe in the end of the movie.

    There were about 5 people in Akira that should all be on the list.

  • Bob

    Sylar?

  • joe rosson

    I’m shure this list is mostly for younger people(under 30), but check out the movie Scanners and get back to me.

  • Matt

    I know the movie is recent, but the character is not. May i introduce…Doctor Manhatten

  • Chris

    agree with matt.

    doctor manhattan from the watchmen.
    he can rip galaxies apart, turn people inside out, etc.

  • Levi

    Where is Doctor Manhattan?

  • Shazamo

    Evan All Mighty?

  • Anonomous

    You forgot one being Who is far more powerful than darthvaders secret apprentice far more POWERFUL than akria And far more POWERFUL than Dr Manhatten him self its……………………………GOD ALMIGHTY just by speaking he created the universe the very universe where human’s created super heros making him the most POWERFUL being ever.

  • Heber

    That list is great, i just think that you are missing a very powerful one, is Tina Shepard from Friday the 13th part 7.

  • jacob daniel

    This list “although pretty good” feels incomplete! if you wanted to list anime you could have listed many other people (or aliens) granted Akira is still a very powerful telekinetic but I think there are individuals that are way more powerful! I could just name a few like the characters in “DBZ” in the show they are known to lift with there minds Giant boulders like if they were toys and use them as weapons like when the alien Frieza lifted an entire island and thru it at his rival Goku. “who is also both a psychic and telekinetic” they can also use in the show what they call “kai shout” to push there opponents into obstacles and send them crashing to the ground. another example is when the “biological/alien” android Cell lifted a huge piece of land effortlessly and created a battle stadium just with his mind!!!

    another that should be a part of the list is Lucy from the Elfen Lied series she is the main character and is a new strain of human that has impeccable amount of telekinetic power and can use those little things you call pencils to launch them like bullets and can rip body parts limb from limb guts and all! although cute and innocent looking is actually very murderous and primal and will kill anything in her way and would be ranked considerably higher than carry’s powers.

    and last but not least Genocyber a 1993 Japanese Cyberpunk manga series by Tony Takezaki centred around a young girl named Elaine and details the development and creation of a “Genocyber”, an ultimate biological weapon created by combining the powers and consciousness of two psychic sisters. Starting off in Hong Kong, the story follows Elaine, a young mute girl who is unwittingly dragged into the ambitions of the scientist who wants to combine the powers of the Elaine and her crippled sister, Diana, to activate the Genocyber.

    In its physical form, Genocyber is an extremely large humanoid monster, which the scientist calls a Vajra. In addition to having almost unlimited strength and regenerative abilities, Genocyber also possess incredible telekinetic and pyrokinetic powers.

    to keep it short she basically destroys all of Hong Kong out of anger and another giant city called Karain and a few more cities and space station.

    I could go on as there are more telekinetics in anime and other novels in books and manga that could hurt and kill half of these people on this list!

  • jan warren mendoza

    you didnt mension chronicle they have telekinetic powers too.but for me phoenix is the most powerful godlike power ,pulverising everything thats awesome…although she can controlled the power of other mutant,

    It’s seems nice she controlled the 4 elements ..like an avatar.

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