May 18 2009

I Guess We Should Mention They Cast Thor

Published by at 2:01 pm under Movies,News

helmsworth-thor.jpg

Hooray, woo-hoo, look at that. They cast Chris Hemsworth (also known as Captain Kirk’s dad) as Thor in the new movie. He’s blonde-ish, and sort of big I guess. I could see him holding a hammer.

Has anyone really ever stopped  and thought about this Thor movie project? Like really, sat down and thought about what it’s going to be like? This isn’t a superhero movie, it’s a Norse mythology movie, and it’s going to be weird as all hell. Like yes, a guy with a winged helmet, chain mail, flowing blonde hair and a hammer is cool in a comic book, but when it’s actually a real person, I can’t see it not looking absolutely ridiculous.

And then there’s going to be all the weirdass gods that no one has ever heard of except Norse Studies majors, and the movie will be drowning in copious amounts of CGI as most of it takes place in Valhalla.

I just don’t really know how this will work, as it’s not going to be like any other superhero movie we’ve seen. And how exactly do you slide in Thor with Iron Man, Nick Fury and the Hulk when he’s a god and they’re all regular joes? I know it’s in the comic, but that doesn’t mean it makes any more sense. I can see it now:

Tony Stark: First Avengers meeting assemble! So new guy, you’re a what now?

Thor: A god.

Tony Stark: Yeah, me too buddy, and I’ve got more money than the devil too.

Thor: No, I’m serious, I’m a god. As in, the god of thunder. Why, what are you guys?

Tony Stark: I’m a bored billionaire who built a robotic suit that cost more than Canada.

Hulk: I’m an idiotic scientist who overdosed on gamma rays.

Nick Fury: I’m a mother****ing secret agent mother****er!

Thor: What the…? I thought I was joining an elite group of all-powerful heroes here! Where’s Superman, Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman? They’re god-like and all-powerful like me!

Tony Stark: That’s the Justice League boss, you’re in the Marvel universe, where our heroes are regular joes with extraordinary abilities. Have you met my friend Spidey?

Peter Parker: I’m a photographer with abandonment issues!

Thor: God ****ing damn it!

Best of luck Hemsworth, you’ll need it.





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9 responses so far

  • Ian

    Did anyone else feel terrible for this guy for almost getting the role of Captain Kirk? They were both around the same age and he they looked pretty much the same. I am glad he didn’t fade into obscurity, cursing the movie that almost made him famous

  • mr ass

    lol. i agree. guy seems to have found a role. just watch out for this one though. kinda skepitcal about this movie. paul is preaching and i’m in the fellowship.

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  • Tron

    the only way i can (reasonably) see the movie working.

    is if they use the alternate thor origin.

    basically it’s a “crazy” guy in a mental institute saying ‘im a god im the god of thunder’ of course everyone thinks he’s batshit insane.

    but his body IS the body Thor inhabits when he comes to earth.

    I can see THAT being an interesting origin movie (cuz lets face it EVERY ‘1st’ mavel movie is devoting at least 20 – 30 min to HOW the hero gets his/her powers).

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  • GQ

    Tron, that’s the way I’d go with the story, too. Either that or set it entriely in a mix of Valhalla/ancient past. All trees and snow and gritty looking guys. Ease off the CGI and make it like a realistic viking movie. With powers.

    Let the Avengers guys worry about merging it with the rest.

  • Hooker

    Or they could go with Beta Ray Bill instead of the true thunder god. An alien with Thor’s Mjiolner (spelling?)? YEAH!!! As for the Avengers…..whoever is responsible for that pretentions BASTARD Jackson playing the role of Nick Fury…..what I wouldn’t give for an hour alone with them in a room full of sharp, pointy, things, or Thor’s hammer.

  • Tav68

    This is going to suck big time. They should have gotten Vladimir Kulich to play Thor. He is more fit for the part than this kid is, he looks the part more than this kid and he is a much better actor. I am so disapointed.

  • http://facebook moon sief

    hi

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