Mar 19 2009
Convoreview: Lost - Namaste
Welcome to a new segment called “Convoreview,” until I can think of a better name. It’s like liveblogging meets Mystery Science Theater 3000 multiplied to the power of awesome.
Today is all about Lost, the most mind****ing show in existence.
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(Opening with the second plane crash again, this time we see how Frank landed the plane on the island, and that Sun was still on it)
Sub-Zero: What the hell? Why is Sun still on the plane.
Roomate: I don’t know.
SZ: I mean, she was one of the Oceanic Six. Why wouldn’t she disappear with the others?
RM: I don’t know.
SZ: That makes absolutely no sense.
RM: Really, five people teleported off a plane into the 1970s and THIS doesn’t make any sense?
SZ: Yeah, good point.
RM: So this is before Locke wakes up from his death sleep I guess.
SZ: Right, if Ben’s not in sick bay yet. He seems healthy, wonder what happens to him.
RM: Good question. I mean he already has injuries from killing Penny back on the mainland.
SZ: HE DIDN’T KILL PENNY! STOP SAYING THAT!
RM: Wait and see…
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(Sawyer greets Jack, Kate and Hurley, and has to freestyle them a cover story that involves them being new Dharma recruits)
SZ: Wow, Jack looks fab in that shirt.
RM: Kate looks hot in paisley though.
SZ: Kate always looks hot.
RM: So how about that kid being Ethan huh?
SZ: Yeah, I mean that’s not a huge shock, but it’s pretty cool. I always loved Ethan.
RM: He was around for like three episodes.
SZ: Yeah, but he kept coming back. He was a badass.
RM: A dead badass.
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(Sayid is captured by Jin in the jungle who has to pretend he’s a hostile)
SZ: This can’t be good.
RM: Sawyer will figure something out. Maybe.
SZ: I love how Sayid is just like immediately going with it. Like, “Oh you speak perfect english now, you’re wearing a Dharma initiave jumpsuit and you’re telling me to pretend to be an Other? Sure, why not, crazier things have happened.
RM: I think you just get used to all the crazy sh*t on the island at some point. Like the Flying Spaghetti Monster could just spontaneously appear in the sky and you’d just be like, “Sure, OK.”
SZ: You know, I think I’m going to get extremely tired of this whole 1970s thing pretty quickly.
RM: Yeah, I feel that already.
SZ: Can we just stop for a second and look how far we’ve come here. We started out with a plane crashing on an island, then five years later, they left the island, crashed another plane on it, and are now wearing leis in the 1970s.
RM: You forgot to mention the Smoke Monster.
SZ: I forgot to mention a lot of things. Whatever, must suspend disbelief. Will all make sense in the end.
RM: You know there’s no way it can.
SZ: I have faith.
RM: Yeah, well let’s see how satisfying Battlestar Galactica answers are, then multiply that times a thousand and you’ll probably have a rough estimate of what the Lost finale will be like.
This was a halfway decent episode I suppose, but yes, I really don’t know how long I can last with this 1970s time period and a mostly useless new cast of characters, but I presume it’s going to last the rest of the season.
The preview for next week worries me a bit, unless it’s being deliberately misleading. I don’t buy the “survivor vs. survivor” thing, and I certainly hope they don’t all start turning on each other. I mean come on, they just got reunited after three years.
It was nice to see that they’re there in the the era where Ben is still ten (creepiest looking kid ever by the way, but I guess it fits). That means that they have plenty of time before he grows up and gasses everyone.
Is it any more obvious that Juliet is going to die? Lost has a habit of killing useless character that the audience flat out doesn’t like (Shannon, Ana Lucia, Rousseau, her daughter and her boyfriend) and Juliet is most definitely next on the chopping block.
My biggest question of the evening? What happened to Daniel?
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Juliet is not going to die, she’s not useless, and fans definitely don’t hate her the most. But seeing as you’re confused by Sun not returning to the 70s, I’ll spell it out for you:
Faraday is going to die.
BTW: Sun didn’t return to the 70’s because she’d be dead. In theory, they’ve all been trying to fix “something”. Most believe that this “something” was an action that set a time line in motion that was never supposed to happen.
Taking that a little further, let’s say the “something” was the 06 leaving the island.
SO. If “whatever happened, happened” (as per Faraday), then Sun would never have left the island and would have died in childbirth on the island. Thus, if she were to return to the “correct” time line (currently the 70s), she’d be dead.
In response to the above, I beleive my head is going to explode.
I would also like to set forth the idea that Sayid is going to try to kill Baby Ben.