Mar 17 2009

The 10 Greatest Movie Cops Ever

Published by Paul Tassi at 10:00 am under Lists, Movies

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Depending on who you ask, the police are either the most upright citizens we have, protecting and serving us all, or they’re a bunch of crooked, corrupt, power hungry douchebags that deserve to be treated as such. In cinema they’ve been represented on both counts, with a little bit of bumbling goofball and fearless action hero thrown in for good measure. Here are what I think are the ten best:

10) Farva (Super Troopers)

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Most of the officers are on here are real badasses, but I had to start things off with Farva, the world’s most useless state trooper, hated by even the other useless state troopers. He wants a liter of cola and his car to be called “Ramrod” and will stab you in the back if you don’t meet either requirement.

9) Barricade (Transformers)

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So technically Barricade is a space alien inhabiting the a police cruiser, but in my eyes he’s still a cop. The best part about him was that he was very clearly a Ford Mustang, the evil foil to all the other fine General Motors autobots. Real subtle guys.

8 ) Alonzo Harris (Training Day)

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Here’s a prime example of what NOT to do if you become a police officer, mainly lie, cheat, extort and beat your way to the top. You may be hot shit for awhile, but as Alonzo found out the hard way, nothing gold can stay. Unless you play such a cop in a movie, in that case you will receive plenty of gold, in statue form.

7) Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon)

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Probably the craziest ****er on this list, Mel Gibson took this character through the paces for four pretty decent films. He was a comedic, spastic foil to the calm, cool and collected Danny Glover. He also had one fine mullet back in the day.

6) Axel Foley (Beverly Hills Cop)

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I’m not as big of a Beverly Hills Cop fan as most, but even I recognize the iconic status of Detroit cop Axel Foley, played by Eddie Murphy in his glory days before he decided that fatsuits = hilarity. Allegedly a new BHC movie is on it’s way with Murphy reprising the role. Good or bad idea? Whatever, it can’t be any worse than Meet Dave.

5) T-1000 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

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Alright again, a machine invading the body of a cop, not a real cop. What’s with machines and wanting to look like cops? I guess people probably ask less questions when you’re rolling around with sirens on. Just be glad all cops can’t shapeshift and hook on your car with their spiked metal arms.

4) Inspector Clouseau (The Pink Panther)

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No, not the Steve ****ing Martin version. Before that abomination there was Peter Sellers as Inspector Jacques Clouseau, the clueless French detective who broke up elaborate heists and plans for world domination by accident. Yes, French police are still real police, and Clouseau’s comedic stylings definitely deserve a spot this high up.

3) RoboCop (RoboCop)

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Patrolling the streets of New Detroit, turning bad guys into mush via bullets, RoboCop is probably one of the most intimidating officers on this list. Just wait another 20 years, and we’ll all be very well behaved as these things march down our streets.

2) Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)

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The original bad cop of cinema, Dirty Harry himself, absolutely had to land a spot on this list. And he very nearly made it to the top as well. His films were full of badassery and unforgettable lines, which would be cliche to repeat here. Something to do with a rapscallion having a good fortune, I’ll leave it at that. So who could possibly beat him out?

1) John McClane (Die Hard)

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Ah you didn’t think I’d forget him did you? Easily the most fearless cop on this list, John McClane is the original Jack Bauer, and stopped terrorist plot after terrorist plot with absolutely no regard for his own safety. If we overlook that little PG-13 related nonsense that happened recently, Officer McClane has easily given us some of the best action movies of all time, and for that, we owe him the #1 spot.

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14 Responses to “The 10 Greatest Movie Cops Ever”

  1. Korinthianon 17 Mar 2009 at 12:04 pm

    And not one mention of the police academy!

    I’m shocked!

  2. […] The 10 Greatest Movie Cops Ever - Unreality Mag […]

  3. aaronon 17 Mar 2009 at 10:13 pm

    i want to truly congratulate you for putting peter sellers on here. i feel as though our generation has missed out on his comic genius.

  4. […] Here are the ten greatest movie cops […]

  5. Sluttonon 19 Mar 2009 at 7:48 am

    What? No Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop?

    “Who is your daddy and what does he do?”

  6. MacGyver1138on 27 May 2009 at 1:40 pm

    If you can find the mp3, listen to Guyz Nite’s ode to Die Hard. It is hilarious.

  7. […] 10 Greatest Movie Cops Ever - Unreality Mag Share and […]

  8. […] The 10 Greatest Movie Cops Ever - Unreality Mag […]

  9. Tishyon 18 Jun 2009 at 2:16 pm

    WTF, dude? No Nicholas Angel from HOT FUZZ? “Received a Baton of Honour, graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service and quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community. Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving… and advanced cycling.” Cycling, dude. Just think about that.

  10. Madholmanon 13 Jul 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Martin Riggs is the best,Axel Foley is second Roger Murtaugh third and then John McClane!!!

  11. Spockeron 14 Jul 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Switch Dirty Harry with John McClane and the list would be righteous.

  12. aTALLasianon 14 Jul 2009 at 6:53 pm

    What no Frank Bullitt?

  13. T Manon 15 Jul 2009 at 8:07 pm

    John McClane is so badass that he was even a candidate for president in 2008.
    http://www.anationforchange.com/

  14. Jason 26 Sep 2009 at 9:48 am

    Yepp thats right John Mclane definatly the best one ever!

    ‘we’ll get together,have a few laughs”

    Yippie kay ay mother f**ker
    ;)

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