You may have caught my article on kids that rule in movies (part one, part two is coming soon).   Well just as easily as a kid ruling in a movie, there’s the chance that a kid will really piss me off.  And I don’t care if it’s a kid.  If I’m paying good money to see a movie I don’t want the damned thing ruined by some little punk 10-Year-Old who can’t act.

That or having the obvious realization that the producers of the film simply inserted the little person into the movie to try and squeeze a couple more dollars out of the film.  Nothing’s worse than a wasted character and when that character is a child I have zero sympathy.  In fact, it even bothers me more.

Here are 10 little kids in movies that really piss me off

Anakin Skywalker

Clearly the most obvious choice.  This little bastard couldn’t have possibly been more annoying if he tried.  Kid couldn’t act worth a damn and the fact that he and Jar Jar Binks were in the same movie together should constitute an elimination of all evidence that Phantom Menace ever even existed.

Bastian in Neverending Story

This little punk gets to ride Falcor?  Atreyu was the man.  Bastian was a little puss. Why did people ever find Barret Oliver cute?

David in Cocoon

Oh congratulations David.  You have new socks.  Who cares?  He’s even worse in the sequel when he can’t get girls and sucks at baseball.From the makers of “Bastian in Neverending Story didn’t piss you off enough and now we’re gonna let this kid star more movies.”

Terry in The Gate

Easily one of the most annoying people of all time.  You’re into Satan, tell your friend what to do, and have red hair.  Could things be more annoying?  No.

Simon Lynch in Mercury Rising

The CIA have created an indecipherable code that Simon Lynch, a 9 year old autistic kid, has cracked. And the CIA wants to kill the kid.  Well I’m pretty sure I would to.  He couldn’t have annoyed me any more in this movie.  Oddly enough this is the same kid who ruled in Kindergarten Cop when he says “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.”

Ron Weasley in Harry Potter

Dude, the red hair is annoying enough.  Do we really need a third wheel here?  This guy just gets more and more annoying, not to mention ugly.  He was annoying when they were kids and he’s annoying now.  Just feature Emma Watson in a bikini and you’ve got Potter’s Gone Wild.

Buster Blues in Blues Brother 2000

First of all this movie should have never been made.  Secondly to put a kid in a suit with the sunglasses just to get a “cute value” thing is borderline illegal.

Toby (The Little Brother) in Fear

Couldn’t even find a picture of the little runt

OK, fine, I’ll give him points for running over a dude with a car.  But let’s face it, the kid is a total wuss.  The entire movie he barely talks.  When he does it’s lame.  Even when he runs the guy over his face remains stone cold.  I have no respect for this whiny little terd.

Tim Murphy - Jurassic Park

Alright you were kind of cute (Joseph Mazzello) in Radio Flyer but come on buddy.  You suck.  Stop bothering Dr. Grant and invading stuff like high tech equipment in cars and making fun of your sister.  You’re just a douche with really crappy lines.  Couldn’t they have gotten a good looking kid who barely speaks?

Michael Cutler in Over the Top

What an absolute brat.  Plus this kid cries at least 15 times in this movie.   Come on kid.  Your dad is Sylvester Stallone.  Trucker and arm wrestler?  He’s a total badass and you’re correcting him on his English and using the word “sir” for half the movie?  Shut up.

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