Mar 12 2009
…because their mugshots will never look good as posters in your dorm room. Take a gander at Frank Sinatra, arrested back in ’39 for “seduction” (can that be real?) What a badass, which is why I have this image hanging on my wall. But what about our rouge-ish celebrities? Do they have the same effect when poster-fied? Well, take a look.
Name: LaBeouf, Shia
Wanted for: DUI, Reckless endangerment, excess use of the word “no.”
Name: Lohan, Lindsay
Wanted for: Possesion of cocaine, public indecency, neglect of a perfectly valid career.
Name: Downey Jr., Robert
Wanted for: DUI, unlicensed firearm, possession of cocaine, crack, Mexican Black Tar heroin and probably a goat.
Name: I., T.
Wanted for: Possesion of semi-automatic weapons, automatic weapons, grenades, rocket launcers, land mines, gatling guns, surface-to-air missiles.
Name: McConaughey, Matthew
Wanted for: Refusal to put a shirt on after officer told him repeatedly to do so. Also, impersonating the Joker.
Name: Rourke, Mickey
Wanted for: DUI, on a Vespa, yes, that’s possible. Also wanted for some fashion related crimes.
Name: Gibson, Mel
Wanted for: DUI, drunk and disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, being a racist asshole.
Name: Dogg, Snoop
Wanted for: Possession, use and distribution of most of California’s marijuana.
Name: Hilton, Paris
Wanted for: DUI, public indecency, the malicious spreading of STDs throughout the great Los Angeles area.
Name: Bauer, Jack
DOB: The dawn of time
Wanted for: Torture, prisoner rights violations, war crimes, treason.
Alright, I take everything back, I would totally buy this as a poster.
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