It seems that recently in movies — as the boundaries of what is considered obscene or off limits have become quite permeable — we’re starting to see a lot of exposed junk.  I’m not talking about tin cans or old rubber tires; the junk I’m talking about is the fleshy meatpipe that dangles between a man’s legs.  With the release of Watchmen and Dr. Manhattan’s glowing, blue dong, I figured now was as good a time as any to run down a list of movies that feature a man’s private parts in all its awkward glory.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but giggle when a dude’s junk is up on the big screen.  After the jump, enjoy take a look at 11 non-pornographic movies that feature exposed junk.

Eastern Promises

Whose junk is it? Nikolai Luzhin

When was it exposed? During the infamous  and brutal bathhouse fight toward the end of the movie.

Why should you care? Because despite Russian mobsters attacking slicing each other up with blades in one of the more graphic scenes of recent memory, Aragorn’s wang is flopping around, seemingly inviting the mobsters to hack it off.

Watchmen

Whose junk is it? Dr. Manhattan

When was it exposed? Pretty much any time Dr. Manhattan is on screen.

Why should you care? Sorry, but I’m not with Sub-Zero on this one: aside from the opening credits, Dr. Manhattan’s quantum piece was the only thing memorable about this disaster from the incredibly overrated Zack Snyder.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Whose junk is it? Peter Bretter

When was it exposed? In the very beginning of the movie, when a shocked Peter is dumped by Sarah Marshall; and again at the end, when he’s caught changing by Rachel Jansen.

Why should you care?  Because I don’t know how in the world a man could have a non-erect penis while standing within 10 yards of Mila Kunis.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Whose junk is it? Unknown

When was it exposed? Dewey is having a phone conversation and all of a sudden, a dong is framed in the upper right hand corner of the screen.

Why should you care?  Unless I missed something, there seems to be no reason whatsoever for the organ at issue to have appeared when it did.

Boogie Nights

Whose junk is it? Dirk Diggler

When was it exposed? At the very end of the movie, after all his ups and downs, Dirk reaches into his pants and exposes his hammer, convincing himself that he’s a big, bright, shining star.

Why should you care?  Alas…it’s a fake!

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Whose junk is it? Azamat Bagatov

When was it exposed? During an intense figth between Azamat and Borat after Borat finds Azamat masturbating to a picture of Pamela Anderson.

Why should you care?  Because it’s pretty easily one of the most nauseating scenes in movie history.  But it is effin’ funny.

Hollow Man

Whose junk is it? Dr. Sebastian Caine

When was it exposed? When Dr. Caine is invisible, he’s got to strip naked for the full effect so that his visible clothes won’t give him away.

Why should you care?  Dr. Caine’s junk is invisible, but only in the visual spectrum we’re used to.  With infrared goggles, you can pick that sucker up right away and put yourself in the shoes of a voyeuristic, depraved Predator.

Harold and Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay

Whose junk is it? Raza

When was it exposed? When Raza emerges from a swimming pool, intent on starting a “bottomless” trend.

Why should you care? Because the enormous mane of pubic hair that surrounds Raza’s meatpipe serves as a helpful reminder to keep your area tidy and clean.

Y Tu Mama Tambien

Whose junk is it? Julio Zapata and Tenoch Iturbide

When was it exposed? Julio and Tenoch don’t care about much besides getting wasted and banging chicks, so when they go swimming, a bathing suit is the farthest thing from their minds.

Why should you care? Because Y Tu Mama Tambien provides an excellent opportunity to study the phenomenon of male sex organs and the displacement of water?  Because two heads are better than one?  Did I really just write that?  My dad is going to disown me.  Again.

Any Given Sunday

Whose junk is it? A random member (no pun intended) of the Miami Sharks

When was it exposed? When the team’s owner, Christina Pagniacci, talks a stroll through the Miami Sharks locker room.

Why should you care?  Because I’m convinced this dong originally belonged to a horse.  there was a noticeable buzz throughout the movie theater when this Goliath of flesh appeared on the big screen.

Sleepaway Camp

Whose junk is it? Angela Baker

When was it exposed? When, in a terrifying twist, Angela reveals that she’s not a she, but rather, a he.  The evidence is quite convincing.

Why should you care?  Because the final twist scene - even if you can spot it coming - is jarring, to say the least.

Well, that’s all I’ve got, which I suppose is a good thing.  Any movies you can think of that feature male full frontal?  If so, are you secure enough to admit it?!  Let me know in the comments section!

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