Feb 19 2009
The 6 Worst Movies Turned Musicals I Can Think Of

There has been a very disturbing trend increasing in Broadway over the last 20 years. It’s the turning of normal movies into musicals. Granted there have been some successful musicals turned into movies such as Grease and Chicago (just to name two), but doing it the other way around is extremely difficult.
I feel like any old movie is now being turned into glitz, funny hats, dance routines and the singing of words that should simply be spoken. Dramatic plays are one thing, and I wouldn’t mind if that were an increasing trend: making movies into dramatic plays. But musicals? Come on! Why do I need to hear Spiderman belting out a Chorus?
Oh and by the way, musicals are one of my least favorite things in the world.
Here are 6 really bad movies turned musicals.
High Fidelity

Really? A movie about a depressed record store owner was a musical? Yup, and it even got a Tony nomination. For what I have no idea. But can you picture John Cusack’s character making up his funny lists, but singing them? About the only possible funny character would be the one Jack Black played. But give me a break. That this thing had 13 performance let alone one in 2006 is just wrong.
The Lord of the Rings

No. Absolutely not. How can they possibly do this? So Gandalf and Bilbo are just supposed to chill in song? All of these epic battles are going to be set to lame music. What are they going to triumph by singing “Lord of the Rings! Lord of the Rings! The Ring! Yay! The Ring!” I might throw up. Don’t believe this was a play? They have a whole website damnet.
The Wedding Singer

Apparently only 2 of the Sandler songs in the movie made it to the musical. And let me ask you something. Doesn’t Sandler kind of sing enough in the movie? I mean the once in a while songs are what made the movie funny. Do we really need to here 80’s Glen break out into song? I can just imagine the Spaghetti and Meatball scene set to music. Uh oh, I think I’m gonna puke again. I mean give it a rest Broadway!
When Harry Met Sally

Now this movie I could see being an excellent PLAY. But a musical? Why? Why oh why would you set this damned thing to music? This was such an amazing movie in my opinion. It explored real life, real relationships and was profoundly funny. To think of them making a mockery of the orgasm scene just makes my blood boil. Did you know this gem starred Luke Perry and Alyson Hannigan? I couldn’t possibly think of a worse combo.
Spiderman

Seriously, don’t get me started here. I’m not even going to bother examining how bad this is. Word is that Spiderman will be coming out within the next year. Granted U2 has apparently signed on to make the music but I just want to hit someone thinking about this movie being a musical. I hope they do some flying scene where Spidy dangles in front of the audiences and falls on his ass.
Grumpy Old Men

Yes, it’s real. Grumpy Old Men: The Musical. I’m done here. I’m just too angry right now. Seriously.
*For the record I heard Shrek is horrible and I’ve actually seen the musical Young Frankenstein which may have been the worst play I’ve seen in at least the last twenty years.
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Wow. I thought Hollywood was out of ideas….apparently Broadway is just as bad. Maybe even worse, based on some of these ideas.
Hey, do NOT judge the LotR musical. The music is absolutely gorgeous and perfect for the setting of Middle-Earth. And the production was amazing; the things they accomplished on that stage were nothing short of jaw-droppingly astounding. Such a shame it’s no longer on the West End.
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U2 doing the music? Oh how the mighty have fallen.
The stage version of When Harry Met Sally WAS a play, doofus.
Evil Dead the musical. Hey lets take a beloved cult classic, write terrible songs, hire people who can’t sing or act, and fill it with jokes fifth graders would think were lame. It was terrible!! The musical started saying it was based on Evil dead one and two, but the majority of the dialogue was Army of Darkness. This could have been brilliant, but it wasn’t even bad in a good way.