Feb 13 2009
I miss the 80’s action star. I miss how tough these guys used to be. I mean you just couldn’t mess with the likes of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, and even Jean Claude Van Damme. These guys were just flat out monsters. Hell you could even add Carl Weathers to the mix.
You see back in the 80’s, little things like steroids didn’t really matter. I would assume that guys like Stallone had bushels of this stuff on set. And it paid off. I mean these guys were borderline WWF (yes it was WWF at the time) wrestler size.
Today? Today’s actors are more “ripped” than big. Today’s actor looks more “in shape” than dangerous. It’s kind of like comparing a Mac Truck to an SUV. Sure the SUV is fast and sleek but the Mac Truck is way more badass.
So here are seven of the new breed of buff actors that even I wouldn’t be afraid to fight
I am by no means denying that Wolverine is about as badass character as they come. And look, Hugh Jackman is a handsome guy, he plays the part well, and yeah, he’s in great shape. But let’s be real here. He’s a broadway actor who can sing well and is hosting the Oscars this year. Would you ever really pin him up against Rambo?
Once again, I’m not denying that Batman isn’t tough. Hell even Pat Bateman was ripped. But come on, you really think that this guy could take Lincoln Hawk in an arm wrestling match? There’s just no way. I think Bale’s most jacked character was in the movie Reign of Fire.
Once again. Here’s a very ripped guy. This is someone I probably wouldn’t mess with in real life. Something tells me Statham knows martial arts and it’s not just from movies. He’s got a very tough, almost Bruce Willis look. And of all the action guys on this list he’s probably my pick for the most badass. However, put him in the ring against Ivan Drago and I give him 30 seconds.
Oh come on now. Yeah he’s a slick James Bond action star but lets be real here. If you’re sending him into the jungle to take on the Predator the guy is definitely wetting himself.
When Van Wilder is pretty much the most jacked guy in Hollywood we’ve got a serious problem. And honestly? I think that Reynolds may literally be the most muscular big named actor in Hollywood right now. And that’s just really sad.
Diesel is a pretty big dude. Or at least he used to be much bigger. Can’t one of these guys just take a cycle and get all huge on us? Like what Ed Norton did for American History X. But imagine an already big guy doing it. That’s what we need damnet.
Dwayne Johnson – The Rock
Perfect example of the power of steroids. In Johnson’s first few flicks after the WWE, I guess his muscles hadn’t deflated yet. He would be my pick for guy most likely to resurrect the Schwarzenegger guy. However, his character moved in a totally different direction. He’s tiny now. At least compared to what he used to look like.
*and by the way Michael Clark Duncan is huge but he does zero action films.
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