What’s one thing that can bring Republicans and Democrats together? Fixing the economy, helping the environment? Don’t be stupid, it’s violent video games of course! That’s why California Rep. Joe Baca (D) and Virginia Rep. Frank Wolf (R) have introduced a bill that would put warning labels on violent video games.

Not content with the “Rated Mature for graphic violence, pervasive language and nudity” descriptor already on the box, these labels would be like those found on cigarette cartons and would read: “WARNING: Excessive exposure to violent video games and other violent media has been linked to aggressive behavior.” That’s kind of like saying “Excessive exposure to fire may cause burning,” but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to make a campfire to keep warm at night.

Yeah sure, playing Grand Theft Auto fourteen hours a day probably stunts child development, but if you don’t already know that, you probably are too dumb to know how to read the squiggly lines that will make up the warning label. Will this pass? I don’t know, it seems like we should have more important things on our plate at the moment, but I’m guessing there isn’t a Senator or Representative who wants to be the guy who “voted against saving our children from the corrupting influence of violent video games” which would make for a hell of a voiceover in an attack ad.

Go ahead, pass it. See if I care. I’m old now, I can buy whatever the hell I want. And when I have a kid who wants to buy Grand Theft Hovercar 6 in X number of years, I’ll let him get it, and whack him upside the head if he plays it too much or starts acting like a little turd. It’s called “parenting.”