Jan 06 2009
Cinema’s 10 Best One-Man Wrecking Machines
What exactly defines someone as a “one-man wrecking machine?” Well, the definition I’m working with is “the ability to kick a giant group’s collective ass while sustaining minimal personal harm.” That’s from Websters. The ten men (and a couple women) are armies in their own right, and of course there’s video evidence to prove it.
Note: I tried to stay away from known martial artists a-la-Chan, Lee, Jaa, because that’s more just the actor, and not the character.
10) Frank Martin (Jason Statham - The Transporter)
Was there any particular reason that Frank was such a good fighter in The Transporter? I don’t think having Formula 1 driving skills automatically makes you a blackbelt, or else we’d be seeing Michael Schumacher in MMA matches. Maybe he was ex-SAS or something, but the level at which he kicks ass is unprecedented. See his famous totally not gay at all “oil fight” below.
9) Achilles (Brad Pitt - Troy)
Achilles is quite literally in the definition of a one-man army. In Troy, he was picked as the sole representative for Agamemnon to go head-to-head with a representative from the rival army. First he dispatched a Goldberg-looking barbarian, then later Hector of Troy. In the video below he storms the Trojan beach more or less by himself. And here’s a hint, he’s only the first Spartan on this list…
8 ) Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson - The Patriot)
Back before Roland Emmerich was solely making movies about the end of the world, he made a film called The Patriot, which was about as historically accurate to the Revolutionary War as Independence Day was to 1996, but it was still a lot of fun. Benjamin Martin watches as England kills his countrymen left and right, and finally leaps to action when they kidnap his son (Heath Ledger OMG!). The scene that follows is still amazing to this day. And you still count as a one-man wrecking machine if you’re being helped by eight year-old children.
7) River Tam (Summer Glau - Serenity)
When I first saw the trailer for Serenity, my reaction was an unabbreviated version of “WTF?” But I’ve since watched Firefly on DVD and now realize how much ass it totally kicks. And speaking of kicking ass, River Tam spent the duration of the show cowering in corners and screaming her head off, but in this scene from Serenity, she singlehandedly tears an entire bar to pieces.
6) Leonidas (Gerard Butler - 300)
Here’s the other Spartan I was talking about earlier, in case you couldn’t guess. Sure Leonidas had 299 shirtless (and pantsless) buddies for backup, but I’m fairly certain he could have taken on the entire Persian army by himself if he wanted to. Check out below what is possibly one of the coolest slow-motions scenes in history.
5) Maximus Decimus Meridius (Russell Crowe - Gladiator)
I mean come on, the word “Decimus” is his middle name! There are a lot of sword and sandal types on this list, but perhaps none handles a blade more masterfully than Maximus. In this scene he goes 1 v 4 in a gladiator match, culminating in the very first beheading I ever saw in a movie. Ahh, the memories…
4) Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman - Kill Bill)
The Bride vs. Oren Ishii’s Crazy 88 has to be one of the most legendary swordfights of all time. I mean everyone knows “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” but holy sh*t this is ridiculous.
3) Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins - The Silence of the Lambs)
Hmm, I bet you weren’t expecting to see Hannibal on this list were you? Gotcha. But now when you’re thinking about it, one-man wrecking machine seems like a pretty appropriate description, no? If you still don’t believe me, check out this spectacular scene from Silence of the Lambs below.
2) Neo (Keanu Reeves - The Matrix)
Whoa.
1) Jason Bourne (Matt Damon - The Bourne Identity)
Did Jason Bourne take the number one spot because I just watched his trilogy back to back last week? It’s possible, but mostly it’s because Bourne is able to foil an entire government, every police station in the world and a black ops army of assassins, all without any superhuman traits. He puts the “man” in one-man army, and for that, he’s number one.
Yes, I left James Bond out on purpose. I’m harboring a grudge. Don’t ask why.
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how do you POSSIBLY leave out tony jaa? epic fail….
How can you leave out Equilibrium.. In that movie Christian Bale kills more than any of the above characters..
RAMBO!
[…] Cinema’s 10 Best One-Man Wrecking Machines. [Unreality] […]
[…] other day, I wrote about the greatest one-man wrecking machines in movies. This article is similar, but kind of the exact opposite. Instead of one guy (or girl) […]
Come on! Oh Dae-Su in Oldboy if just for that one continuous shot in the hallway.
how could anyone forget commando?… travesty i say!
Oh Dae-su in old boy? one of the most realistic one VS many fight scenes in a film. it also doubles as one of the most BALLIN.
how did anyone forget Ghandi II from UHF? they even said “hes a one man wreking crew”. and he eats steak! thats one hindu you dont mess with!
Marv from Sin City.
Terminator/T-1000
Danny from Unleashed
Ash from Evil Dead/Army of Darkness
Liam Neeson from Taken. If you’ve seen it, you’ll know what i mean.
I apologize in advance for nitpicking.
But Achilles is not a spartan.
He was king of the myrmidons.
The fat guy from “In Bruges” was the Spartan king Menelaos.
Regarding Frank Martin: He *is* ex-SAS. When the girl is alone in his house she finds a box of pictures and medals from when he was in the military.
What about Leeloo from 5th element?
Jean Reno in The Professional ?!
And of course, C-Bale in Equilibrium.
How about the man who started it all. If it werent for him we wouldnt of had most of these action stars
Bruce Lee!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XsAYrmc8Po
Dude!~! Blade!
Come on! Where the hell is Ben Richards from Running Man? John Matrix from Commando? Rambo? How could you leave Rambo out?!
jackie chan…
Yeah, uh, Achilles was Greek, not Spartan. Used to really like this site til I saw the sheer ignorance displayed in some of these articles… Shame.
quit your bitchin and make your own top ten
stupid n00bs
Is part of the title missing? Unless this is supposed to be Cinema’s 10 Best One-Man Wrecking Machines not named John Mclane then I really don’t think anyone can take it very seriously.
you seriously need to add oldboy in this
yeah i would ask you to consider tony jaa (as kham from the protector)
sure it was a terrible movie, but check out this scene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds36EeXhh-Y
and tell me that doesn’t need to be on this list.
You left out MARV from SIN CITY
yeo you forgot about braveheart thats the best one ive eva seen!
How can you leave off the father of all “One Man Wrecking Crews”, BRUCE LEE?! Also, Neo’s fight in the second Matrix against the endless Agent Smiths is more impressive than the original
Bourne is FIRST??? How about James fucking bond! Christ almighty!
who cares about jaa
liam neeson in taken should most definitly be number one
How can you leave Jet Li out for his Huo Yuanjia role in Fearless?
How about Liam Neeson in Taken? That guy was not only very smart, but a cold, merciless killer who took the law into his own hands.
@Hawkins
You’re right that Achilles is not Spartan (kind of obvious the author of the article didn’t actually pay much attention to the movie), but the Myrmidons weren’t a nation of people (i.e., one can’t be “King of the Myrmidons”), but rather the name for his particular group of hand-selected soldiers from Phthia (pron. “pithia”), which is where is father was King (in the original story, Achilles is about 13-15 years old when the war begins, but still a badass, since he’s half god and invulnerable to harm).
Fail.
Leonidas was not a one-man wrecking crew. As a whole, the 300 Spartan army was the wrecking crew. Didn’t you watch the movie? Leonidas stressed the fact that the Spartans did not rely on a single man but to function as one unit.
Also, no Bruce Lee. Ever watch Enter the Dragon or Fists of Fury?
Where is William Wallace??? (Braveheart)
You missed out Michael Jackson. SERIOUSLY count his kills in Moonwalker. badass..
You left out RAMBO. Are you serious? It’s called “going Rambo” for a reason
rambo…
Seriously, Darth Vader from Star Wars, may I have to remind you he destroy a whole planet? Let’s see Bourne do so.
I’m pretty damn impressed with this list - of course, I seem to be the only one here…but of course, just like everyone else, I would have made a few changes myself. Rambo, definitely. Terminator, yes. Liam Neeson from Taken. Jack Bauer from 24. These were some of the names in my head. But I do like your list - you should have made it a longer list!! So you could include more, and rank them that way.
How ’bout Kung Fu Hustle? That big fight scene with the suits and top hats is epic!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPYrHHpdU7Q&feature=related
I was immensily surprised not to find Arnold Schwarzenegger in this list, considering his performance in Commando. Boy, did HE kick ass! Another true definition of a one-man-army if ever was one.
“…the very first beheading I ever saw in a movie.”
What are you, like 15 years old now? Kill Bill sucks and all Tarantino sucks. You suck if you like his garbage. I shouldn’t have to explain why.
Bruce Lee in .. anything. Notably, Bruce defeating an entire Karate school (I’m pretty sure that’s where they got the idea for the scene in Kill Bill) in The Chinese Connection.
Geezus. I’m seriously hoping the note he made at the top of this page came AFTER all of these fucking comments. If not, I’m seriously concerned about the lack of people on this list who can read….
And yeah, this guy seems a bit young, but if you went anywhere near the 80’s for this list, it’d be 10 pages long. That’s all the 80’s was. I’m liking a list closer to this time.
Writer, I can get over the way you order this, and I like the concepts of your list, but man, your reasoning and research needs work. Maybe a bit more explanation (even though people apparently wont read it.
Riddick from pitch black deserves some credit. he was awesome in the 2nd movie ad took on the necromangers and won…who deos that?
Where is IronMan!?!?
It (or he) fulfils all of the criterium:
One man—check
Wrecking MACHINE—check (machine being the keyword there)
I mean he never tries to dodge bullets, he deflects them, and destroys a tank in one shot!
!!!!1
Bruce Lee as Lee in Enter the Dragon, no contest
no superpowers, no guns, no cgi
just handing you you’re ass any day of the week.
[…] There’s a few they left out, but how about a list of movie B.A.’s. Lazy socialists. Faux news says so. See Television. Why is there such a fine line between cool and […]
Achilles…. bad ass
Benjamin Martin…..bad ass
Agree about Taken…… super bad ass
How about Jet li in Kiss of the Dragon ??
The scene in the police station… he was whooping ass all over the place… ImO
Also like the addage of Christian Bale in Equillibrium…. awesome.
taken should be in this list. pretty sure liam neeson killed everyone in that movie without breaking a sweat.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? RAMBO?? TERMINATOR?? UNIVERSAL SOLDIER?? CHUCK MOTHERFUCKING NORRIS??
try again fam. try again.
how about the most badass - Brandon Lee?
jack bauer, from 24
Where’s William Wallace??
i have a hard time agreeing with the your call of mel gibson being a “one man wrecking machine”. i haven’t seen the movie but based on those 2 scenes in the youtube complation provided on this site, he needed his son’s to help him “wreck” and in the second scene he’s not even really wrecking, he just fighting a guy.
and i understand your reluctancey to include any asians like jackie chan, jet li, tony jaa dude from crouching tiger, dude from iron monkey, dude from house of daggers, dude from kungfu hustle and bruce lee since all asians are one man wrecking crews and its just unfair to the whities.
Marv from Sin City, Liam Neeson from Taken, Christian Balefrom Equilibrium, Stalone from Rambo, and RAWR-SHACK(don’t know the right spelling for his name), from Watchmen are missing from this list.
Not here to complain, just represent for my man Ogami Itto-The Lone Wolf and Cub/Shogun Assassin samurai. His story was he was Shogunate’s Head Deacpitator before murder and betrayal sets him and his young son Daigoro on ‘the road to vengence’ complete with a weapons-laden baby-cart. Posessor of surely one of if not THE highest combined body-count in cinematic history.
If you havent’ yet, check out Lone Wolf and Cub 3: Baby Cart To Hades, my alltime favorite mass fight.
Lone Wolf and Cub top a hill and waiting in a valley for them is an army, easily 200 men or more. Ogami never breaks stride, and proceeds to kill every last one of them.
To be fair, like The Patriot, Ogami had some help, but the child in question was much younger.
How can Leon *not* be in this list? He was an assassin that was cornered in one tiny apartment by an entire police force and killed off a shit load anyway.
For this list to be valid (in my opinion) I would’ve wanted to see him in it.
[…] started with random wanderings through some social media site when I noticed Cinema’s 10 Best One-Man Wrecking Machines. I love lists. I love movies. Sounds like […]
i have to admit i don’t fully agree with the list, grudge or not james bond is still a one man army for, count ‘em, 21 films
what about rambo? aragorn? and although he does cop it in every film, the terminator is still pretty much a one man army
While this list is interesting, I would like to point out when I went to one of the links on your site (apologies for not remembering which one, I was too shocked and worried about my computer) I found it was infected with a virus, you may want to take a look at that as it did try and load itself onto my computer.
Jason Statham, who plays Frank Martin, is a martial artist in real life… which is why there is a Jet-Li v Statham movie called ‘War’
rambo. epic. fail.
Jason Statham was a well know high diver before becoming an actor - hardly a world class martial artist
now let’s remember this is one man’s opinion, but in my opinion i wouldn’ve left out hannible lecter and replaced him with Christian bale in either Bat man Begginings or equilibrium.
Unreality is the perfect choice for this. All this choreographed “one man wrecking crew” stuff is sheer fantasy and sadly gives too many little boys (those who think they’re men) the idea that they are bad asses just because they’ve watched such hooey on a screen. Rubbish.
RAMBO AND WILLIAM WALLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you must be really good neo, you not only broke the laws of physics but you made your enemies do it to
What about God?
WHERE IS LIAM NEESON IN TAKEN?
[…] one man army. That one guy that cannot be stopped. They are gods walking among mean mortals. (Unreality) November 15th, 2009 | Tags: GWLTWUT, Links | Category: Entertainment, Women | Leave a […]
William Wallace in Braveheart..?
WHERE’s SYLAR? the PUnISHER? EquiLibrium? and jetli and jackie chan?
BTW WHERE ROBOCOP? hahahahahaha
MR BEAN!!
Snake Plisken, Charlie from Deathwish, the ninja dicing shintaro
but the all time greatest of all time my brothers and sisters is
da da da ta
Lone wold and cub, come on, sure there were no explosions and crap but for total body count and bloodletting tinged with the super cool, you cant beat em.
Hello, what about Ripley from Aliens! She kicks more tail than that ho from Kill Bill.
NO RAMBO?????? THAT CHARACTER IS THE EPITOME OF 1 MAN KILLING MACHINES!
IN RAMBO 3, I THINK HE KILLED 400 PEOPLE SINGLEHANDEDLY.
I’M NOT SAYING SLY DESERVES AN OSCAR FOR THAT, BUT AS FAR AS 1 MAN KILLING MACHINES GO, NO-ONE BEATS RAMBO!
Dude, I dunno who else has seen Taken, but the dude from that killed like 25 guys over the course of the movie, all by himself. More action than the entire shitty Bourne series put together.
Not being a hater but this list needs some improvement . Thats just my opinion.
Achilles wasn’t a Spartan, he was from Thessaly…
Where is Rambo!? I mean the guy’s name practically doubles as a verb that means one man wrecking crew.
Weak sauce…
Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon.
Has no one seen Shoot ‘Em Up with Clive Owen? Unlike everyone else in the list, no time is wasted on any sort of character development or backstory. All killer and no filler.
ip man vs 10 japanese
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qhPDEOYbx4
I’d include Segal in this list. But, he’s become more of a one man buffet wrecking machine as of late.
Seriously? You don’t have Agent 47 from Hitman? The train station scene is intense. He’s such a bada$$. When he’s confronted by 3 or 4 men, sorry cant remember, he says if they are going to kill him he wants to die with dignity and they all put their guns down and then precedes to completely eff those men up escaping unscathed. He’s so meticulus and to me far better then most of these nancy pants’ on this list… no offense
FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!
if you don’t get this you suck
v for vendetta.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLqEWDo1VQk
Interesting selection sonny….. but the guy who once said “go ahead, make my day” is the original one man wrecking machine….
Noone remember ‘Leon’??
Now that dude could kick some ass!
whats with dickhead after dickhead complaining someone was left out? shut the fuck up!
What a weak list. Some commentators mentioned some good ones. like Rambo, Ripley, Charles Bronson, etc. What about Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry. Bruce Freaking Lee anything!!! Come on. Don’t let a kid make up this list. I was watching far better “Wrecking Machines”, in movies while the writer of this article was still the spunk running down his Mother’s leg.
WTF? No Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon? He obliterated about 100 guys single-handedly, 30 years before anything else on this list.
Video evidence is all dried up. Plus you missed Equilibrium and OngBak. Sad really…
Old boy in The Protector and Jet Li in Unleashed
Rolling Thunder.
Logan’s run. I mean come on! Is this site run by 12 year olds that have only seen movie in the last few years or what?
Two words:
Ip Man.